Newbrassky

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

  "Now Del, that was right nice of ya!"  Brazos wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, "Could almost hear ol' Frankie crackin out that tune. That lady sure has it in fer your phony-graff don't she?"  Brazos digs into the bowl and takes a big helpin' of rice.  "Don't know if that was Tex, or that new kid, Tennesse Ernie?  But I liked it pretty darn much!"

Brazos notices a little dabble of black wax on his shoulder and brushes it off.  "You gots a Wax roof or somtin?  There's little puddles of wax all over the place."  He then proceeded to fork a little glob out of his bowl of rice.  "Darn stuff is all over everything!"

Brazos

[Delmonico]

Delmonico comes back from his office having replaced the spring that went sproing.   "Yea she gets testy around good music.   But you know how wimmin are, fact is I found a song 'bout how they can drive ya ta ruin." 

"I'll get in in afore the curfew, ya play music after curfew she goes ballistic."


Cigarettes and Whusky and Wild, Wild Women
They'll drive you crazy; They'll drive you insane
Cigarettes and Whusky and Wild, Wild Women
They'll drive you crazy; They'll drive you insane.

Once I was happy and had a good wife ...
I had enough money to last me for life
I met with a gal and we went on a spree ...
She started me smokin' and drinkin' whuskey.

CHORUS

Now I am feeble and broken with age
The lines on my face make a well-written page
I'm leavin this message; how sad but how true
On women and whuskey and what they can do.

CHORUS

Write on the cross at the head of my grave
For women and whuskey here lies a poor slave
Take warning dear stranger, take warning dear friend
Then write in big letters these words at the end.

CHORUS

[Silver Creek Slim]

No, that's a phony-graph, don't cha know?  Brazos just shakes his head.  " Howdy Slim, it's been a while since I laid eyes on ya.  You been hatchin' anymore kids lately?  What is it 16 or 17 little rug rats?"

"Good seein' ya again, Brazos. I'z only gots a baker's dozen. Some 'round here like ta 'zagerate a mite." 

[Advertising]

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

During the night, every one of the wax cylinders is changed. Although the label may state a particular song and lyric, when the cylinder is played the sound that comes from the phonograph is the 4th movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's 9th symphony. And so it is with every cylinder that is brought to the Ranch with No Name. And just as the Frumpy Fairy Godmother has no leather hat, the 4th movement has no lyrics.

[Delmonico]

<Author's note:  Movement is another word for Poop.   The FFg turned all the nice music into poop. .>

Since the phony-graf won't play nuthin' no more but poopy music, Delmonico makes another order with his computor and has it shipped Over Nite Pony Express. 

A few minutes later he get a CO-Mail (coal oil) that says it is too big to ship by pony so it'll have to come by 2 day oxen freight.

[Trinity]

Trinity rides in from a trip to town.  He dismounts his horse and from his two rifle scabbards he pulls three 20 pound sledge hammers and one 12 pounder (for the FFG ...to protect the image of her femininity). 

He bursts into the kitchen door and announces his arrival:  "Ahm back, an ifn any of that mewsik is garna be played after curfew... Trinity Time, I done brought a fix."

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

Brazo and Slim have been eatin' all the refried Fried Rice, and Brasos interjects ( like that big work interjects!) Hey Del, you got somethin' to drink?  This here rice is real good, but nedds somethin' to wash it down." 

"cough, cough, dag nabit!  There is another piece of that black stuff!  Almost went and swallowed it!"  Brasos notices Trinity's hammers.  " Don't get carried away with swinging them things in here, that purty lady will sprinkle some of her dust on 'um and make 'um come alive!"

"Del, after that drink, I think I'll amble out to the porch and take a snoze!

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Humming to herself "Da da da da da da da da da da da daaa de da..." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is out on the porch of the bohunk house, hanging up three new hammocks. Daisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.

[Scattered Thumbs]

Daisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.

Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Daisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.

Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? 

((       ))

[Scattered Thumbs]

Daisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.

Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? 

((       ))

'That a yes? 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Daisy and Claire, who both look more than a little fat, trail at her heels, wagging their tails.

Arthur's note: Are we going to have puppies? 

((       ))

'That a yes? 

((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. ))

As the Frumpy Fairy Godmother finishes up, Frankenbird joins the dogs. The animals exchange affectionate sniffs then head up to Trinity's bed. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother smiles and goes inside to start breakfast.

[Scattered Thumbs]

((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. ))

<Arthur's note: Now you sound like Evil Princess Irmoplotz instead of a FFG. >

<Arthur's note too: That's scawy. >

[Delmonico]

<Authors note:  The We referance makes me wonder if there is more about Scattered Thumbs than "we" know >

Brazo's don't drink Trinity's corn liker, it has lead in it, I would not drink the "Lemon Soda after the rice.   Stoney Pete ain't cleaned out his coffee pot ever.  My pot is empty, so maybe you'd be best with water.

[Scattered Thumbs]

<Authors note:  The We referance makes me wonder if there is more about Scattered Thumbs than "we" know >

The "we" refers to "us"(you're included  ) in the "Ranch With no Name on the Dismal". Don't get any ideias. 

[Silver Creek Slim]

((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. ))

<Arthur's note: Now you sound like Evil Princess Irmoplotz instead of a FFG. >

<Arthur's note too: That's scawy. >

<Arthur's note: I was trying to find a pic of Evil Princess Irmoplotz, but to no avail.  >

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

((Time will tell. Bwaa haa haa. ))

<Arthur's note: Now you sound like Evil Princess Irmoplotz instead of a FFG. >

<Arthur's note too: That's scawy. >

<Arthur's note: I was trying to find a pic of Evil Princess Irmoplotz, but to no avail.  >

((It's scary that Scattered Thumbs watches Dave the Barbarian. All I've been able to find out about the Princess is her voice is done by Melissa Rivers, Joan Rivers' daughter... which is also scary ))

[Scattered Thumbs]

((It's scary that Scattered Thumbs watches Dave the Barbarian. All I've been able to find out about the Princess is her voice is done by Melissa Rivers, Joan Rivers' daughter... which is also scary ))

<Arthur's note: Yep that's me. I'm a scary dude.  >

[Silver Creek Slim]

<Arthur's note: Here are the "sweeties".  >

[Delmonico]

Delmonico turns green, covers his mouth and runs out behind the barn.