Newbrassky

[Trinity]

Seeing Delmonico in the kitchen with the musical device playing loudly after curfew (Trinity Time), he slips into Del's office and pours a liberal portion of recipe onto the spinning cylinder and runs.  The friction soon heats up and causes the recipe to flare up.  Within minutes the wax is melted and the alcohol is burned off leaving no trace.  Needless to say, the music is abruptly halted.  (Note this is not the same recipe as the Flambé incident) 

Soon Trinity is happily snoring on the porch, swinging in the hammock.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico knows that Trinity is the only one around to have caused the problems.  

So him and Duke sneak up and tie Trinity up in the hammock and them tie him straight up to a porch post.   Gathering several jugs of the recipe, they pour it in a tub and light it off.   While Trinity watches it burn, delmonico and the Yaller dog go back to the office.   Soon the strange unflickering white glow appears and music once again emits from the office.

Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
 

[Trinity]

Helpless, Trinity can only watch his "premium" recipe burn.

 

Through his whimpering, he hears the current song and starts to hum then sing along.

"Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'''  *sniff*

[Advertising]

[Delmonico]

Delmonico changes the cylinder, "And now for sumthin' completely different" he says.



Have gun will travel, reads the card of a man
A knight without armor in a savage land
Hisfast gun hire, heeds the calling wind
A  soldier of fortune, is a man called --- Pal-a -din

Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam
Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home

He travels on to where-ever he must
A chess knight of silver is his badge of  trust
There are campfire legends that the plainsmen sing
Of the man with the gun, of the man called --- Pal-a- din.

Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam
Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home
Far from home, far from home.
 

[Trinity]

Trinity continues to sob and sing to himself:

  "Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'''  *sniff*

"Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'''   

[Delmonico]

Delmonico takes the phonee-graf out to the porch and places the cone right near Trinity's ear.

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it

Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it

Well, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico has now got a really strange look on his face as he hollors, "he Grandpa what's for supper" and as he spins the crank, Grandpa Jones answers.

There's a big holler tree down the road here from me where ya lay
down a dollar er two. Well you go round the bend and when you come
back again there's a jug full o' good ole mountain dew

Oh they call it that ole mountain dew and them that refuse it are few.
I'll shut up my mug if you fill up my jug with some good ole mountain dew.

Now my uncle Nort, he's sawed off and short, he measures about four
foot two, but he thinks he's a giant when you give him a pint of that
good ole mountain dew.

Well my ole aunt Jill bought some brand new perfume. It had such a
sweet smellin' pew, but to her surprise, when she had it analyzed, it
was nothin but good ole mountain dew.


Well the preacher rolled by with his head heisted high, said his wife
had been down with the flu, and he thought that I ought just uh sell him
a quart of that good ole mountain dew.


Well my brother Bill's got a still on the hill where he runs of a gallon
or two. Now the buzzards in the sky get so drunk they can't fly from
smellin' the good ole mountain dew.

Oh they call it that ole mountain dew and them that refuse it are few.
I'll shut up my mug if you fill up my jug with some good ole mountain dew.

[Delmonico]

With the real and proper curfew time drawin' near, Delmonico plays one last cylinder.


I've always been crazy and the trouble that it's put me through
I've been busted for things that I did, and I didn't do
I can't say I’m proud of all of the things that I’ve done
But I can say I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone

I've always been different with one foot over the line
Winding up somewhere one step ahead or behind
It ain't been so easy but I guess I shouldn't complain
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane

Beautiful lady are you sure that you understand
The chances your taking loving a free living man
Are you really sure you really want what you see
Be careful of something that's just what you want it to be

I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane
Nobody knows if it's something to bless or to blame
So far I ain't found a rhyme or a reason to change
I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane

 

With that over, Delmonico takes the fooony-grapf back to his office.   

Delmonico and duke untie Trinity and lower his prostrate body to the porch.  They leave a note on him, "Slim: Drag Trinity in when you get back and put him in his bed."

As Delmonico and Duke head to bed they here a sound from Trinity:  "Whooosh  White Lightnin".

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

Ol' Brazos done rid by the ranch, findin' nobody and more importantly no grub, rides on into town and spots Delmonico watchin' trinity roll around on the ground moanin'.  Brazos Reins up in front of the two, his mouse colored horse takes one look at Trinity rollin' around his feet and give him a little back foot side kick to the head!

"Sorry about that" he casually says to Trinity.  "Good thing he ain't wearin' shoes!  Hey Delmonico, where does a feller get some good grub since your cookin' irons is cold?  I am a might hungrey?"

"And, when I am done eatin', gots to be lookin' for me a place to work.  This ridin' around the country is breath take'in but not good fer vittles gettin'."

Brazos

[Delmonico]

<Authors note, we are at the ranch   but it's a lot to read to catch up.)

"Well, just step over Trinity and come on in, I'll make some ham and red eye gravy and some biscuits.  Stoney Pete done gave up bounty huntin' and became a hog farmer."  <Humm, could we base a Movie on that idea?      Must call Mr. Eastwood. >

"Ya could partner with him, or get a holt of litl rooster, he seems to be always runnin' round doin' roundups.   There is a bounty hunter shows up time to time, but he never seems to catch any one.  Fact is I gots an idea fer a money maker, can you roller skate?"

<Delmonico makes a note not to forget Stoney Pete is on 2 week vacation and is sleepin' in his hammock on the porch. >

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother is gliding down the stairs as Delmonico and Bucky enter. She darts a quick glare to the cosie then her face softens and she smiles as she offers a calloused hand to the man.

"Hello, a pleasure to see you!"

[Delmonico]

Delomoco whispers to BBS,"She's gettin' a bit senile lately, she fergets you used to ride through now and then."

"Well enjoy yer stay, I'm off to write a movin' picture script,  that way it will be ready when Mr. Edison gets round to inventin' it.  I'll base it on our ex-bounty hunter turned pig farmer, I'll name it "Sort of Forgiven."

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

This time, she turns a full bore, icicle in the eyeballs glare to Delmonico.

"I know Mr. Smith, I was being pleasant! I said it was good to see him, didn't I?"

Her smile returns in a smaller form as she looks back to Brazos Bucky. "I hope you can stay a while. Would you like a room in the main house or in the bohunk house?"

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim rides in and sees Trinity laying on the ground. He dismounts and reads the sign on Trinity. Slim puts his horse away and puts the cheese in the icebox. He then draps Trinity and puts him in bed. "Is anyone home?"

[Delmonico]

Delmonico hollors, "run, while you have a chance Slim, she's on a rampage again."

<Delmonico decides not to mention the roller skates and poodle skirt right now. >

"Slim, did ya find that nice poem that I found that mentioned you?"

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Who'z an a rampage?" 
"Yep, I found the poem. Thanks fer thinkin' of me when I was gone." 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hugs Slim in greeting and whispers in his ear.

"Delmonico added onto his room and now, along with the loud music, there's a strange light coming from his new window. I think he's invited the people from the flying plates to move in."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Well thank ya, ma'am."
"He had better not invited them to stay or I'll take the 'Mighty Ten' after 'em." 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico heard that, "No I thought about providin' them with a landin' strip and see if they behaved.   But decided that Neverland was a better place for them to land."

"That light is my new Edison Carbon Filliment Light Bulb.  I'm trying one out to see if they are any good.  Might have to get a bunch fer the whole house.   "Cept for Trinity's room, i'd drive him crazy a blowin' it out."

[Trinity]

"Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'!"  Trinity awakens with a start ... and with a song in his head 

"What tahm is it?"  He gets out of bed and goes down stairs to find the rest of the group.