Newbrassky

[Delmonico]

As Trinity passes Delmonico's office the white unflickerin' glow leaks out under the door.    Also the last song before the true Central time curfew is playin', kind of a nasal voice backed up by a gee-tar that sounds like it has a big hole in it.

The red-headed stranger from Blue Rock, Montana,
Rode into town one day.
And under his knees was a ragin' black stallion,
And walkin' behind was a bay.
The red-headed stranger had eyes like the thunder,
And his lips, they were sad and tight.
His little lost love lay asleep on the hillside,
And his heart was heavy as night.
Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.

A yellow-haired lady leaned out of her window,
An' watched as he passed her way.
She drew back in fear at the sight of the stallion,
But cast greedy eyes on the bay.
But how could she know that this dancin' bay pony,
Meant more to him than life.
For this was the horse that his little lost darlin',
Had ridden when she was his wife.

Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.

The yellow-haired lady came down to the tavern,
An' looked up the stranger there.
He bought her a drink, an' he gave her some money,
He just didn't seem to care.
She followed him out as he saddled his stallion,
An' laughed as she grabbed at the bay.
He shot her so quick, they had no time to warn her,
She never heard anyone say:

"Don't cross him, don't boss him.
"He's wild in his sorrow:
"He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
"Don't fight him, don't spite him;
"Just wait till tomorrow,
"Maybe he'll ride on again."

The yellow-haired lady was buried at sunset;
The stranger went free, of course.
For you can't hang a man for killin' a woman,
Who's tryin' to steal your horse.
Tthis is the tale of the red headed stranger,
And if he should pass your way,
Stay out of the path of the ragin' black stallion,
And don't lay a hand on the bay.

Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.


<Author's Note:  Willie at his best, from his 1976 "Red Headed Stranger Album"  kinda a Outlaw Country Opera.>

[Trinity]

Trinity doesn't hear a note as he passes Delmonico's office as he's humming to himself: "Hmmm hmm mmmm hmm mm Whhhhooosh . . . white lightnin'!" 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico decides that if the FFg and the others let Trinity walk around and sing after curfew, then he can play his phoney-graph also.      To object to that would be an unfair double standard.   So he puts on a cylinder and gives it a crank.

Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
 

And another crank:

Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...


As he hears Trinity in the background he plays  it again.

Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...
 
and again and again the song plays into the wee hours of the night, Trinity and Duke back up the song
 

Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Lightnin' started flashin' and thunder started crashin'
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'


Well a city slicker came and he said "I'm tough"
I think I wanna taste that powerful stuff
He took one g-g-glug and drank it right down
And I heard him a moaning as he hit the ground
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
but my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'...

[Advertising]

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Alas for Delmonico, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's spell knows the difference between a human's humming and the cranking of the phonograph, and now two more of the wax cylinders melt into a puddle of goo.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Delmonico heard that, "No I thought about providin' them with a landin' strip and see if they behaved.   But decided that Neverland was a better place for them to land."

"That light is my new Edison Carbon Filliment Light Bulb.  I'm trying one out to see if they are any good.  Might have to get a bunch fer the whole house.   "Cept for Trinity's room, i'd drive him crazy a blowin' it out."

<Arthur's note: Where is Del getting the 'lectricity fer that new fangled bulb? They're in the middle nowhere.  >

Slim walk into the kitchen fer some coffee. Seeing nobody has started it, he puts a new pot on.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico finishes his letter he is writing and adds some of the melted wax to the flap of the envalope.  When it is almost hard he presses his seal into it. (A dutch oven with a D in the middle.)

Puttin' it in the  bag for the Pony Rider he goes back to his office and fires up his computor.    He then types in his new found website.    www.timewarpcylinders.com    

As the site is loading he cleans up the rest of the wax and puts one another cylinder.


On a greyhound bus,
Lord I'm traveling this morning
I'm going to Shreveport and on down to New Orleans
Been driving these highways,
Been doing things my way
It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean

Now her hair was jet black,
And her name was Codene
Thought she was the cream of the Basin Street queens
She got tired of that smokey whine dream
Began to feel lonesome on'ry and mean

We got together, and we cashed in our sweeps.
Gave 'em to a beggar
Who was mumbling through the streets
There's no escaping
From his snowy white dreams
Born lookin' lonesome on'ry and mean

Now i'm down in this valley,
Where the wheels turn so low
At dawn i pray, to the Lord of my soul
I say do Lord, do right by me
You know I'm tired of being lonesomeon'ry and mean

Yodelayeeee...


At the sound of the Waylon Jennings music, the FFg's leather whoppin' had starts to dance a Texas Two Step.


<Authors note, Slim go back and look at the shed building, the glass fish bowls, the clear liquid and the metal plates.  A wet cell bat-tree, just like they used to power the telly-graph. )

[Silver Creek Slim]

<Authors note, Slim go back and look at the shed building, the glass fish bowls, the clear liquid and the metal plates.  A wet cell bat-tree, just like they used to power the telly-graph. )

<Arthur's note: Oooooooooooooooooooh! Sometimes we northern Yankees take a bit longer.  >

[Delmonico]

< Brain Freeze? >

[Silver Creek Slim]

< Brain Freeze? >

<Yep.  >

[Delmonico]

Delmonico is out in the kitchen cooking him some dinner that will make lots of leftovers if anyone needs a quick meal.  He's a makin' fried rice Cosie's style. (Yep big skillet, not the wok.)  rice, peas, bacon, onion and some cabbage.   Good fer what ails ya!

He's taken the foney-graf out there with him and dug out a cylinder from that "Time Warp Comapany" by some fellar named Tom T. Hall.  The website said he liked ta tell stories.

He was an old-time cowboy, don't you understand his eyes were sharp as razor blades his face was leather tan his toes were pointed inward from a-hangin' on a horse he was an old philosopher, of
He was so thin i swear you could have used him for a whip he had to drink a beer to keep his britches on his hips i knew i had to ask him about the mysteries of life he spit between his boots and he replied

"it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money"

He smiled and all his teeth were covered with tobacco stains he said, "it don't do men no good to pray for peace and rain. peace and rain is just a way to say prosperity, and buffalo chips is all it means to me."

I told him i was a poet, i was lookin' for the truth i do not care for horses, whiskey, women or the loot i said i was a writer, my soul was all on fire he looked at me an' he said, "you are a liar."
"it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money"

Well, i was disillusioned, if i say the least i grabbed him by the collar and i jerked him to his feet there was something cold and shiny layin' by my head so i started to believe the things he said

Well, my poet days are over and i'm back to being me as i enjoy the peace and comfort of reality if my boy ever asks me what it is that i have learned i think that i will readily affirm

"it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money"

[Delmonico]

With supper ready to reheat and the kitchen cleaned up, delmonico is bored, so he gets another cylinder.   

It's the same old tune, fiddle and guitar
Where do we take it from here
Rhinestone suits and new shiny cars
We've been the same way for years
We need to change

Somebody told me when I got to Nashville
Son you finally got it made
Old Hank made it here, we’re all sure that you will
But I don't think Hank done it this way
I don't think Hank done it this way

Ten years down the road, making one night stands
Speeding my young life away
Tell me one more time just so I understand
Are you sure Hank done it this way
Did Ol' Hank really do it this way?

I've seen the world with a five piece band
Looking at the back side of me
Singing my songs and one of his now and then
But I don't think Hank done 'em this a'way
No I don't think Hank done 'em this a'way

Take it home


And as expected, the FFg's leather hat comes down from the cupalo and dances a Texas Two Step when it hears Waylon  wailin'.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim goes into the kitchen fer some grub. "Howdy, Del."

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

((Author's note: The Frumpy Fairy Godmother doesn't have a leather hat. So there. ))

[Delmonico]

<Authors note, yes she does. >

"Hello Slim, I'll refry you some fried rice in a couple of minutes." (Refried Rice? )

"But first watch this, I play a cylinder by some fella named Waylon Jennings and the FFg's leather hat dances."



There only two things in life that make it worth livin'
That's guitars that tune good and firm feelin' women
I don't need my name in the marquis lights
I got my song and I got you with me tonight
Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love

Chorus:
Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain

So baby let's sell your diamond ring
Buy some boots and faded jeans and go away
This coat and tie is choking me
In your high socitey you cry all day
We've been so busy keepin' up with the Jones
Four car garage and we're still building on
Maby it's time we got back to the basics of love

Chorus:
Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain

Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain


While the music is playin' the hat does dance, as soon as it's over it stops.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"That's amazing!" 

[Brazos Bucky Smith]

No, that's a phony-graph, don't cha know?  Brazos just shakes his head.  " Howdy Slim, it's been a while since I laid eyes on ya.  You been hatchin' anymore kids lately?  What is it 16 or 17 little rug rats?"

He gives Ol' Slim and good slap on the back, and says to Delmonico, " Boy fer us slow movin' fellows you all sure do move fast!  How's about ya fix me some grub like Slim, fellow gets a might hungry tryin' to keep up with you.  Maybe I could get some of the there Pixey Dust from that purtty lady so's I can get right along?" ( You know, the one with the non-leather hat).

"You got any Tex Ritter or Franky Lane type songs, Delmonico?"  Brazos sits down at the table, pulls his fork out of a front pocket (he knows enough not to put a fork in his back pocket!).  I be ready when you are Del!"  (That is, if a couple o' days go by and you all are pages ahead, yuk yuk)

Brazos

[Delmonico]

We'll have sumthin' better tommorow night, I just made fried rice today, so leftovers is refried fried rice.   Fergot, the Overnite Pony Express guy brought me a bunch a new wax cylinders today.

We'll see what we gots.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico goes in his office and comes out with a new cylinder. ;DRollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Rawhide!
Hah! Hah!

Keep rollin', rollin', rollin',
Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them dogies rollin', rawhide.
Through rain and wind and weather,
Hell bent for leather,
Wishin' my gal was by my side.
All the things I'm missin',
Good vittles, love, and kissin',
Are waiting at the end of my ride.

Move 'em out, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em on.
Move 'em out, head 'em up:
Rawhide.
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in,
Ride 'em in, cut 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in:
Rawhide!
Hah! Hah!

Movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them dogies movin', rawhide.
Don't try to understand 'em,
Just rope an' throw an' brand 'em.
Soon we'll be living high and wide.
My heart's calculatin',
My true love will be waitin':
Waitin' at the end of my ride.

Move 'em out, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em on.
Move 'em out, head 'em up:
Rawhide.
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in,
Ride 'em in, cut 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in:
Rawhide!

(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
Hah!
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
Hah!
(Rollin', rollin', rollin'.)
Rawhide.
Hah!
Rawhide!

 

[Delmonico]

With the song ended, Delmonico has another cylinder in hand.  "Yer in luck I got another one came today you'll like."

Come listen you fellers so young and  fine
Oh seek not your fortune in the dark dreary  mine
It will form as a habit and seep in your soul
Till the stream of your blood is as black as the coal.

Refrain
It's dark as a dungeon and damp as the dew
Where danger is double and pleasures are few
Where the rain never falls and the sun never shines
It's dark as a dungeon way down in the mines.

It's many a man I've known in my day
Who lived just to labor his young life away
Like a fiend with his dope and a drunkard his wine
A man will have lust for the lure of the mine.

Refrain

The midnight, the morning, or the middle of the day
It's the same to the miner who labors away
Where the demons of the death often come by surprise
One fall of the slate and you're buried alive.

Refrain

I hope when I'm gone and the ages shall roll
My body will blacken and turn into coal
Then I'll look from the door of my heavenly home
And pity the miner a-diggin' my bones.

Refrain


Yer all right, pard ya know good music.   "I'll even say, Bless yer little pea pickin' heart."

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Standing there with wax in her ears, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's eyes narrow and her wand gives a small twitch. Something inside the phonograph gives a loud:

"SPROING!!!!"

And the contraption stops working.