Newbrassky

[Delmonico]

Inside and out, that means he's gonna need one of them rubber bags with the hose from the Sears and Roebucks Catalog.  Dr. John G. Kellog of Battle Creek Michygun recomend yogurt for such things in the 1880's. 

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!   Icypec would be better.

[gophergrease]

Dont think hell havta go that far, but he do need a good cleaning.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Delmonico one of those looks, then hands Trinity a bar of soap and a scrub brush.
"This is soap. You rub it all over your body, even your head until you get foam. Then you scrub your hair and skin with the brush. I'll boil your clothing if someone will bring them to me, or you can get new clothes."

[Advertising]

[Delmonico]

I'm sorry about the yogurt post, but you see my studies have lead me down some strange pathes, cause this is the same Dr. Kellog who invented the cornflake.  At least he intended for the corn flake to go in the other end.  (Delmonico sees a chance to be really crude here but he will pass.)

"FFg a fore he heads to the tub, will you check him fer lice and nits.  If he has them get the can of coal oil out of the shed and use it to kill them. "   

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks and takes a step back.

"Me?!? You want me to do it? But to... to do that, you have to check ALL his hair. I'll check his head and his armpits, but I am NOT going near uhh... that other...er... area."

[Trinity]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives Delmonico one of those looks, then hands Trinity a bar of soap and a scrub brush.
"This is soap. You rub it all over your body, even your head until you get foam. Then you scrub your hair and skin with the brush. I'll boil your clothing if someone will bring them to me, or you can get new clothes."

After overhearing the crew talking about his hygiene, Trinity decides to do something about it and heads out into the cold to go to town.  In town he finds a proper establishment and let's them have their way with him (No! Not that kind of establishment... Dirty thoughts!).  The trip to town is not a waste, he reasons to  himself.  He can always make a short trip over to the saloon!

[Trinity]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks and takes a step back.

"Me?!? You want me to do it? But to... to do that, you have to check ALL his hair. I'll check his head and his armpits, but I am NOT going near uhh... that other...er... area."

Author's note:  Don't forget the back.
 

[gophergrease]

As Trinity returns to the ranch he find super ready for him.


Tontines  Menu

Figs marinated in Whiskey with Warm Honey
Grilled Figs With Thyme Honey and Gorgonzole Toasts
Pheasant stuffed with Brandied Figs
Pork with Figs and Balsamic Vinegar
Basmati Rice with Figs, Mustard Seeds and Ginger
Candied Figs, Apricots or Tomatoes Recipe
Fig Cobbler

[gophergrease]

with the figs all used up, Gopher Grease burns the box in the fireplace so they will be nothing but memorys.

[gophergrease]

[

 With Delmonico out of comission fer this short time, Ah know aint no cruel jokes gonna be played on me.  

aint so. Others just have to kick in and take over for him.

[Delmonico]

Thanks Pal, I knew you could cover for me.

[Trinity]

Trinity, so excited about the gourmet meal which awaited him back at the ranch (and eager to show off his new duds), he only stays at the saloon for "a few" beverages.  Upon arrival at the ranch Trinity storms into the kitchen and only slightly inebriated promptly trips over a broken up crate.

"Whassh this here crate doin' buste up.  What did ya do with tha figs, Gopher?  Didja throw them away??"  Trinity spies Gopher's marinade, snatches it up and pulls the cork.  After a quick sniff (to check for purity) he pours the remaining contents into his mouth.  "Whasssh dat ssshmell??  Ah ssshmell figs!!  Whassshat on the fahr?  Rahssh???  We ain' got no Shineshe here,  waffur we got rahssh on the fahr?"

The smell of figs overwhelming Trinity, he holds his hand to his mouth then runs out the door.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother blinks and takes a step back.

"Me?!? You want me to do it? But to... to do that, you have to check ALL his hair. I'll check his head and his armpits, but I am NOT going near uhh... that other...er... area."

Author's note:  Don't forget the back.
 

Author's note:

That one made me laugh outloud. Ewwwie!

 

[gophergrease]

Gopher Grease steps outside with Trinity. GG gives him a plate of Fried steak n Beans. You need some freash cornbread to go with you grub?

[gophergrease]

Trinity ya do smell a mit bit better. care for a taste of wine, anit got no figs in it.

[Delmonico]

"Well at least he didn't throw up all over my nice Wedgewood flushable water closet."  Delmonico heads to his office and closes the door, Duke sniffs at the door and he is let in.

[Trinity]

Gopher Grease steps outside with Trinity. GG gives him a plate of Fried steak n Beans. You need some freash cornbread to go with you grub?

"Wah, sshank you Gopher!  Ah love Frahd sshteak.   And BEANSH!  Ah love Beansh.  Ah would love sssshom cone braid!"  In the same amount of time it took Trinity to thank Gophergrease for the "curbside service" he devoured the meal.

"Issh it sshafe ta go back inta the houssssh?  -Hic- Ah shink the box you was burning mushta had the shmell of figssshh in it, cuz Ah don' got no idea why elsh the shmell would be sho shtrong...-hic-..."  Trinity's two functioning brain cells struck a spark:  "Ya ain' cookin no Figsssh, issh ya??"

Quickly, Gopher Grease changes the subject and offers Trinity some wine:

"Issh shish shat Eye-talian sshshtuff (spatter) you was talkin' 'bout?  It don' have no scuppernongs in it? ...  No figs, huh, honest?"  Trinity takes a small sip the wine, then a larger sip, then a belt.  Suddenly Trinity turned green.  Was it the fact that the wine was made of figs or that he just had drunk too much that evening?  We won't know because he passed out right there... while vomiting.

[gophergrease]

I have all said theres nothing better than nice glass of fig wine to help a body sleep.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico and Duke come out of the office and head outside.  Delmonico points to a spot behind the house and up a ways on Hornets Nest Hill.  Duke digs a hole about 6X3 feet and 3 feet deep.  Delmonico and Duke go back to the house and Duke grabs Trinity by the collar and drangs him to the hole and drops him in.  Takin' two stick, Delmonico ties them in a cross and pounds it into the ground at Trinity's head.

He has brought a blanket also and covers Trinity with it and places a shovel in the mound of left over dirt.  Him and Duke then go back to the house.  Delmonico puts some sawdust on the vomit and sweeps it up and carries it out to the trash.  He then goes back to his office with Duke.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim knocks on Del's door. "Del, what did Duke and ya do with Trinity?"