Whoa, hoss. I'll just slap the strings around the hitchin' post here. Youi'll see that they ain't too tight. If you get a hankerin' to slide on down to that water trough over there, you have my permission to do so. But, if you step on either one of them new, leather strings that Skunkfoot made for this bridle, why, I'll... Awwww, you know better'n to do that. Just reee-lax whilst I proceed into this saloon here. Be good, darlin'.
I'll just make a polite an' unobtrusive entrance into the Longbranch, here...
HOWDY, FOLKS! I'm wild n' woolly and full of fleas, and it's my night to howl!!! Keep your daughter's locked up tight, 'cause this wolf is on the prowl! Haw! Haw! Haw!
Tarbender, I'm buyin' drinks for the whole dang crowd here. I may not be rich, but I sure am free with whatever cartwheels are rollin' around in my purse here at any given time. And this here crowd sure looks thirsty...
Why, spit fire and save the matches, how you been Tensleep!! Fancy meetin' you here. Ain't seen you in a month of Sundays. (But...before you go launchin' into a windy or two, who's the pretty little filly at the end of the bar? Not that I ain't happy bein' in double-harness with the lovely Redfeather, but...)
Well, howdy ma'am! What's that? Marshal'ette? Well, howdy Marshal'ette. I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance. Say. Ain't you the gal...er... Are you the young lady who finally tamed ol' Marshal Haul-Away and persuaded him to put his evil ways on the shelf?
If so, I must assume that you are one to ride the river with, if you don't mind my saying so. I mean, well, the Marshal, he's what you might call a tough hoss to break to halter. I always got the feeling that he was, uh, rather headstrong. If you see what i'm driving at here.
Well then, Madame, Tensleep, shall we have a liquorish libation and toast the auspicious and serendipitous occasion of our meeting at this fine establishment?
A toast: "Here's to hosses, and here's to women, the toughest and the wildest in the West. When I die, tan my hide, and make a lady's sidesaddle, so I can ride between the two things in this world I love the best. Here's to hosses, and here's to women!" (respects to Mike Blakely for the toast)
I sincerely hope that that rather bawdy toast did not offend your tender sensibilities, ma'am. After all, this ol' boy has been lookin' at the south end of north-bound mustangs for the better part of a fortnight. Been drivin' 'em to Denver for the Army Remount program.
And I'm afraid I've lost a bit of the culture that my lovin' bride so earnestly wishes me display in company such as yours. Please accept my humble apology if that bit of raw-boned humor appears to be in bad taste to you. I would never intentionally offend such a lovely lady as yourself.
Excuse me ma'am, for a brief moment. I must needs speak to my good pard and comrade-at-arms for a bit of local information...
So, Tensleep, where's a good place to keep my hoss for the night and are you up for some chin-jawin' and mebbe even some poker, or such as that...?
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