A true made up tale of the west...

[Prairie Pearl]

"Ooops!  He caught me."    She scans the trees for the ferocious sabre toothed squirrels and soon loses interest in the hunt again.   

"Zzzzzeeeeebbbbb!  When can we set up camp?" 

[Zeb]

Zeb looks around and see's it's late afternoon as he pulls his watch out of his vest pocket.

"Whal, I reckon we've dun 'nuff huntin' fer taday!" He says as he gets the gallon jug from the pack animal and a small bag of 'tater chips and 2 Slim Jims from his saddlebags.

Within minutes, he has a small fire built and their bedrolls laid out. "Darlin', supper iz bein' served!" He says as he opens the the 2 Slim Jims and the potate chip bag.

[Forty Rod]

...

[Advertising]

[Prairie Pearl]

Pearl smiles.  "I finally got me a man that sure knows how to take care of a woman proper!" 

[Zeb]

Zeb knows he'd not been lucky at hunting the big Squirrels so he thinks of other things.

"How's 'bout more "Peach Squezzin's" Darlin'? It'll take yer mind off of tha "Sabers"! I know how much ya 'ad yer heart set on gittin' one taday but we'll see sum tomorra.........I promise!" Then Zeb watches her take a 4 gulp pull from the jug.

[Prairie Pearl]

As the evening passed and the pair dined on a sumptuous meal of Slim Jims and tater chips, washed down with generous swallers of peach squeezins, Pearl could have sweared she saw polar bunnies, grizzly chickens, and a whole flock of rare white tailed, zebra-striped gerbils.  But Zeb was so drunk he missed 'em all.

[Zeb]

  Little did she know, that he wasn't as drunk as she thought. He waited just for the right time, then he sprang it on her.

"Darlin'........how's wood ya like take off..................................................................tha wrapper frum my ceegar??" A big smile formed on her face as she took the big cigar and unwrapped it, put it in her mouth and wallered it around. Then she lit it. Took several big drags, blew out 2 smoke rings.

"Here ya go Babe." She cooed as she handed him the cigar and slid close to him in jest her bloomers!

[Prairie Pearl]

Yep, you got it right folks and you read it right here!  There was Zeb, drunk on peach squeezins (don't let him fool ya, he was drunk), smokin' a ceegar and wearing nuthin but HER bloomers!  

[Zeb]

  Duz ya wunder what SHES wearin'?    NUTTIN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Prairie Pearl]

Okay!  That's enough of that.  We seemed to have hijacked these fine folk's story and now we've hijacked our own.

Meanwhile back on the trail....

"Zeb!  Ssshhhh!  Stop yer singin' 'n listen up."  Zeb stopped and cupped his hand over his ear.  He nodded at Pearl and then in the direction of his rifle.  She reached for it and handed it to him.

"Isn't that the call of the rare albino spotted jackalope?"  She whispered.

The pair quietly crawled on their hands and knees in the direction of the noise.  (they wuz too inebe, enneb.... er DRUNK to walk)

"Zeb!  Quit watchin' my butt 'n look o'er yonder.  That's it isn't it?  Them white on white spots is hard enuff to see when we ain't had a jug o' squeezins."

[Zeb]

Zeb looked, sure enough the Albino Spotted Jackalope came out of the woods into the opening. Zeb grabbed his trusty Winchester and started to take aim. Just then he let out a squawk that could be heard for miles. Both Pearl and Zeb jumped.

"Pearl Darlin', 'at wuz tha matin' call fer 'em Albino Spotted Jackalopes. If'n we wait long 'nuff, we might be ables ta shoot 2 of 'em!" Then Zeb and Pearl hunker down and wait for some females Albino Spotted Jackalopes to appear.

[Prairie Pearl]

The pair sat quietly waiting for their quarry to appear.  Minutes passed.  It seemed like hours.  One lone rare albino spotted jackalope frolicked in the clearing but no others appeared.  Zeb pulled the flask from his pocket, took a swig and passed it to Pearl.  “I’m gittin’ mighty tired of waitin’ fer the varmints, Zeb!  Let’s go back to camp ‘n figger out a new strag… stragged… plan.” *hiccup* 

[Zeb]

 Zeb helped Pearl back to camp. He got her settled in her bedroll and then proceded to plan out tomorras hunt for the death defying dreaded Saber Toothed Squirrels. He looked over both of their rifles as she snored in her drunken sleep.

Still in the darkness, the rare Albino Spotted Jackalope could be heard roaring for his mate. As the screeches for the big 'lope faded off into the darkness, Zeb desided to close one eye for some needed sleep. He knew, tomorra would be another day.

[litl rooster]

  what demented minds

[Cherokee Jem]

Huh?....Is this me and trinitys hunting trip?? Welcome to the group newbies! Please put you seat backs and traytables in the upright positions...

[Delmonico]

Jem, You's and Trinity's been MIA fer a long time.   We was begainin' to think you both was KIA.   Wow KIA, thated be a cool name fer a little cheap car.

[litl rooster]

Jem, You's and Trinity's been MIA fer a long time.   We was begainin' to think you both was KIA.   Wow KIA, thated be a cool name fer a little cheap car.

 

 Zeb and Pearle doesn't realized thet the Goverment eradykated dem Sabretooth squirrels, cept fer 2 that them Friends of Dels(the men in the long white coats) they are studin' in Northern New Mexico.

[Delmonico]

They ain't there no more, I made biscuits and gravy out a them.

[litl rooster]

Did you save any for the rest of us to sample Del?

[Delmonico]

Nope, but I used canned cow and made sourdoughs.