Delmonico's Dutch Oven

[Delmonico]

Ya want me to save a tumbleweed next time one blows through?  I have them jump the fence and hang around in the back yard with my wild marr-a-ja-hooca weed.

[Silver Creek Slim]

We call it Mary-Jane here.

Slim

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Del iz runnin around hummin, "The wilwood weed grew wild on the farm and we never knowed what it was for."

[Advertising]

[Delmonico]

Yes I do, you find a pasture with a well used pond that don't have grass and weeds growing up around it, make sure there are some dead trees near by and a big patch of this weed near by.  You hide somewhere about 2 hours before sundown and have lots of shotgun shells.

Excuse me, someone is at the door: 

"Open up, it's Dave" 

"Daves not here."

A few years ago on Labor Day, they had an interview with the Sherriff's Explorer Scout Progam kids, they had been doing a ride along in a plane lookin' for folks picking.  When asked if they found any, the said they seen a large patch with a pick-up near by and a couple of guys in camo in the patch.  They said a patrol car was going to check them out. 

Got a dollar says there was a lab in the group also with feathers on it's lips.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico puts up a sign.


Brownies on Special

[Trinity]

"Oooooh!  Ah wan' one!"

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim takes one to the Chemistry lab for testing. 

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Thinking the brownie belongs to Slim, the Sheriff locks him up!  When SLim asked why he is being locked up the Sheriff point to the photographic close up of the bottom where in tiny block letters it says, "ITS ALL SLIM"S FAULT!"

[litl rooster]

Slim takes one to the Chemistry lab for testing. 

Mebbe we should change yer alias to Grissom?  Or have the moderator move this to the CSI thread

[Trinity]

We call it Mary-Jane here.

Slim

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim sits in jail and stews. "Luuuuuuunch is ready." 

[Delmonico]

Just like on Gunsmoke, Delmonico in in charge of feeding the jailbirds, he brings over a crust of stale bread and some tepid water.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Thanks, Del. It's just what I needed to feed the birds." 

[Delmonico]

Since Slim didn't like the Delmonico fare, later the Jailers wife brings hot bullony eggs and gravy.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Thankee, ma'am. Yer nicer then that Delmonico fellar."

"Sheriff, I ben framed. Doz weren't my brownies. That crazy cosie Delmonico was sellin' 'em. See."

Delmonico puts up a sign.

Brownies on Special

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim has ta get outta jail 'cuz Artesian wells were found in Silver Creek County. He is gonna open a soda pop factory.
<Arthur's note: I found out on Saturday that one of my ancestors owned a soda factory in Sheboygan County in the 1920's.>

[Delmonico]

Delmonico decides that Slim needs some music and has it piped in.

One time I spent a week inside a little country jail
And I don't guess I'll ever live it down
I was sittin' at a red light when these two men came and got me
And said that I was speeding through their town

Well, they said,"Tomorrow morning you can see the judge then go."
They let me call one person on the phone
I thought I'd be there overnight so I just called my boss
To tell him I'd be off but not for long

Well, they motioned me inside a cell with seven other guys
One little barred up window in the rear
My cellmates said if they had let me bring some money in
We ought to send the jailer for some beer

Well, I had to pay him double 'cause he was the man in charge
And the jailer's job was not the best in town
Later on his wife brought hot bologna, eggs and gravy
The first day I was there I turned it down

Well, next morning they just let us sleep but I was up real early
Wonderin' when I'd get my release
Later on we got more hot bologna, eggs and gravy
And by now I wasn't quite so hard to please

Two days later when I thought that I had been forgotten
The sheriff came in chewin' on a straw
He said, "Where is the guy who thinks that this is Indianapolis?
I'd like to talk to him about the law."
Well, I told him who I was and told him I was working steady
And I really should be gettin' on my way
That part about me bein' who I was did not impress him
He said, "The judge'll be here any day."

The jailer had a wife and let me tell you she was awful
But she brought that hot bologna every day
And after seven days she got to lookin' so much better
I asked her if she'd like to run away

The next mornin' that old judge took every nickel that I had
And he said, "Son, let this teach you not to race."
The jailer's wife was smilin' from the window as I left
In thirty minutes I was out of state

[Delmonico]

 train a comin´
it´s rolling round the bend
and I ain´t seen the sunshine since I don´t know when,
I´m stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin´ on
but that train keeps a rollin´ on down to San Anton..
When I was just a baby my mama told me. Son,
always be a good boy, don´t ever play with guns.
But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die
now every time I hear that whistle I hang my head and cry..

I bet there´s rich folks eating in a fancy dining car
they´re probably drinkin´ coffee and smoking big cigars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can´t be free
but those people keep a movin´
and that´s what tortures me...

Well if they´d free me from this prison,
if that railroad train was mine
I bet I´d move just a little further down the line
far from Folsom prison, that's where I want to stay
and I´d let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.....

[Delmonico]

And another.

first thing I remember knowing,
Was a lonesome whistle blowing,
And a young un's dream of growing up to ride;
On a freight train leaving town,
Not knowing where I'm bound,
No-one could change my mind but Mama tried.
One and only rebel child,
From a family, meek and mild:
My Mama seemed to know what lay in store.
Despite all my Sunday learning,
Towards the bad, I kept on turning.
'Til Mama couldn't hold me anymore.

And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.

Instrumental break.

Dear old Daddy, rest his soul,
Left my Mom a heavy load;
She tried so very hard to fill his shoes.
Working hours without rest,
Wanted me to have the best.
She tried to raise me right but I refused.

And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.

[Delmonico]

And then Johnny comes back to torment Slim.

Monday I Was Ar-rested (Uh Huh)
On A Tuesday They Locked Me In The Jail (Oh Boy)
On A Wednesday My Trial Was At-tested
On A Thursday They Said Guilty And The Judge's Gavel Fell

I Got Stripes --- Stripes Around My Shoulders
I Got Chains --- Chains Around My Feet
I Got Stripes --- Stripes Around My Shoulders
And Them Chains --- Them Chains They're About To Drag Me Down

On A Monday My Momma Come To See Me
On A Tuesday They Caught Me With A File
On A Wednesday I'm Down In Solitary
On A Thursday I Start On Bread And Water For A While

I Got Stripes --- Stripes Around My Shoulders
I Got Chains --- Chains Around My Feet
I Got Stripes --- Stripes Around My Shoulders
And Them Chains --- Them Chains They're About To Drag Me Down

I Got Stripes --- Stripes Around My Shoulders
I Got Chains --- Chains Around My Feet
I Got Stripes --- Stripes Around My Shoulders
And Them Chains --- Them Chains They're About To Drag Me