To: Bvt Brig Gen Pitspitr, Commander GAF
Subject: Div Illinois Muster Report
Sir,
On 11 May 4 souls formed a suicide squad and engaged an unknown force. 3 steel stages were expended, a 2x4 was blown to 7734, and precision rifle and pistol were observed.
The results are as follows:
Scout Class: Sgt Sackett, Snidely Whiplass, Mil Spec single shot: Pvt J Knaak, Mil Spec repeater: Lt Col Long. Precision Pistol: Pvt J Knaak. Precision Rifle: Sgt Sackett.
Scores were very close and sprinkled with a liberal dose of good natured BS. Lead Scout Whiplash did report that the "fixin's was good at th' Div of Missoury muster!"
The Division will re-take the field on 29 September 2019 for additional action and other related perversions.
Lt Col Long reporting, Commander Div Illinois