"Never scratch your head, pick your teeth, clean your nails, or worse of all, pick your nose in company; all these things are disgusting. Spit as little as possible and never upon the floor.
It gets better.
In assisting at a fire in a boarding house, the true gentleman will always save the young ladies first--making no distinction in favor of personal attractions, or social eminence, or pecuniary prominence--but taking them as they come, and firing them out with as much celerity as shall be consistent with decorum. There are exceptions, of course, to all rules; the exceptions to this one are:
Partiality, in the matter of rescue, to be shown to:
1. Fiancees.
2. Persons toward whom the operator feels a tender sentiment, but has not yet declared himself.
3. Sisters
4. Stepsisters
5. Nieces
6. First Cousins
7. Cripples
8. Second Cousins
9. Invalids
10. Young lady relations by marriage
11. Third cousins, and young lady friends of the family
12. The unclassified
Other material in the boarding house is to be rescued in the following order:
13. Babies
14. Children under 10 years of age.
15. Young widows
16. Young married females
17. Elderly married ditto.
18. Elderly widows.
19. Clergymen.
20. Boarders in general.
21. Female domestics.
22. Male ditto.
23. Landlady.
24. Landlord.
25. Firemen.
26. Furniture.
27. Mothers in law.