Technical difficulties

[RobMancebo]

Technical difficulties
by Rob Mancebo 

As a PBY crew chief in WWII, George was responsible to keep the plane in working order no matter what the young pilots might do to it.  Pilots tended to be cocky young college boys who sometimes had more guts than brains.   They flew the planes, but they didn’t always understand the nuts and bolts of how they worked.  Sometimes it could be entertaining, like the time George replaced an un-used panel gauge with a ‘TILT’ light off a pinball machine and made it flash at odd times during a flight.  The frustrated young pilot left the plane cursing that it was ‘Hoodooed’!  However, once in a while a pilot not understanding how things worked could cause problems for a crew chief. 

They were flying in the pacific at night when his captain made a mistake.  He forgot to retract the landing lights before getting the plane up to speed.  The landing lights were on a track and were only supposed to be deployed at low speed when the plane was getting ready to land or when taking off.  Having them out at full speed caused enough drag that they jumped their tracks.  They couldn’t be retracted, and as long as they were out-- they were on.  The plane was flying through a war zone lit up like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.

That would be an irritation during peacetime.  During wartime it was like a, ‘Here I am.  Shoot at me.’ sign for every enemy plane or ship in the pacific to see.  Not only that, but no field would allow them to land the plane for fear that they would lead enemy planes right to the US airstrip.  They were well and truly hosed. 

So, in good military form, the errant pilot passed the buck.  “Chief, put out those lights,”  he ordered.
 
“Sir,”  George informed him.  “Those landing lights are wired directly to the magneto.  You can’t put them out.”
 
“You’re the crew chief,”  the pilot snapped.  “I don’t care how you do it, but I’m ordering you to put out those lights now!”   
So, George told him, “Yes, Sir.” and proceeded to the locker.  When he pulled out a Tommygun and chambered a round, the pilot suddenly decided that he really *did* care how George was going to put out the lights. 

“What are you going to do with that?”  he demanded. 

“Shoot out the lights.” 

“You’re not going to shoot at the plane while we’re flying it!” 

“That’s the only way to get those lights out, Sir.” 
 
The pilot decided that he didn’t want his plane shot up by the crew and, after some hasty radio calls, arranged to slow his speed so as to arrive at an airstrip after dawn when he wouldn’t inadvertently lead any enemy planes to it.

As soon as they were down, the pilot got hold of the airfield’s Sr Maintenance Chief and demanded,  “Chief, if your landing lights jump the track, how do you get them to go out?” 

“You can’t,”  the old Chief informed him.  “Those lights are wired directly to the planes’ magneto.  The only way to get ‘em out is to shoot ‘em out.” 

“Shoot them out?”
 
“That’s right.  Shoot ‘em out!” 

After that, George said that the young Captain never argued with him about technical problems again.