Had to take Rita to her new PT job being a sample lady at Costco today., I have to take the kid to work before Rita gets off. So left on my own with no supervision and an almost full tank of gas, I decided to go on an adventure because I am being left on my own again tomorrow but am staying home and baking. I want some homemade whole wheat, normally not a problem but Walmart quit carrying the flour I use, it’s a hard red spring wheat from NE Montana brand name Wheat Montana and their Bronze Chief is a 5% protein fine ground whole wheat flour. For you non-bakers or those who don’t really study the science of it, that will bake a very light and fluff loaf with out having to add white flour. Your common 4% stone ground aka coarse ground either bakes bricks, or needs about half white flour added. Also it can cause problems I need not explain.
Well I decide to run to the SW Walmart in town since it was right there close, I’ll risk the problems because I have pills for that and we buy the other stuff needed in bulk at Costco.
I get to Walmart and after cruising the parking lot several times the only handicap spot that came open some little old lady in a big truck got so since the closest one that wasn’t was way out there on the back lot I would try elsewhere. There is an Aldi’s down the street but they have no mart carts, and I didn’t have a quarter for the other ones so pass on that. Went to the fancy mall the other way because they have one of those places Yuppies shop that some guy named Joe owns. Got a handicap spot (too much ice for much walking) and got in and they had a cart, I had to move the ice melt that they had leaning on it, but it had a full charge.
I eased into the store because I knew there were lots of Yuppies in there and they ain’t smart enough to get out of the way of an old man wearing red plaid jammies and a Carhartt coat. (Remember my plans was Walmart when I left home.) After several near misses (I didn’t care, I can now pass a drug test) I got over to the sugar, spice baking aisle and found they had no whole wheat flour at all and no empty space for it where I could ask them to check the back room knowing from working retail that if they had it then it would be out, but that’s required when you don’t see it.
Made my way back to the front and the Jeep Car thing, decided a mile east there was a Hy Vee, so headed to 40th, turned south, never found my turn and was in a bunch of look alike houses real soon. Well remembered that the Hy Vee was down on a crick bottom so turned and decided to head north again and find in, got in the damnedest mess of curved roads and switch backs a drunken dozer drive to lay out and was soon lost, sort of, could not see the big medical building on the corner that was my landmark. Was about to use my phone to get a silver alert started when I realized something and pushed the bookmark with my address on it and a map came up showing the blue dot wasn't at my house but south of 40th and Pine Lake road and if I followed the switchback to the next corner and turn right it would take me back to the Pine Lake Medical Building I was using as a landmark but there was no Hy Vee there. Hmm, expanded the map and the Hy Vee was a mile north on 40th and Old Cheney Rd. (The street with that name does not go to Cheney but that’s a different story.) Close handicap space, go in, one mart cart plugged in, unplug, get on with out falling over and turn it on, so dead even the red light won’t come on.
Ok, their loss, I’ll just go to baking goods instead of cruising and maybe buying lots. Grab a plastic grocery cart (WTH?) and find baking goods and the only whole wheat they have is white whole wheat, a recent development for people who want whole wheat to irritate their colon but not to taste like red wheat whole wheat. Well dummies, if I didn’t want it to taste like whole wheat I would just use white, it costs a lot less and I have plenty in stock. So I left the Hy-Vee and headed on east to go to the big Walmart on Nebraska Highway #2, except a couple weeks ago they opened the new South Beltway that will take Nebraska Highway #2 south of Lincoln and hook up with US Highway #77 and now the part of Nebraska Highway #2 that goes through town is now Nebraska Parkway and has also had the signs changed.
Well the SE Walmart had plenty of handicap parking, and plenty of charged mart carts so I commandeered the nearest one and heading to the baking goods, sugar and spice aisle and found they only had red stone ground whole wheat as expected but not the affordable brand the SW Walmart has but it had King Arthur and Bob’s Red Mill with both way over priced and both only 4% protein. So I was down to one chance left before I went to another of my sources and got either dark or white rye and not stone ground.
So off to the old Hippie Coop that’s been around since the 70’s and has been de-yuppied since the Whole Foods across town opened up. Got there, the one handicap place was used but still got close and got a push cart, went to the bulk bins and to the sounds of Stairway to Heaven I bought about 2 pounds of what is a fine ground red spring wheat, should be the same as Wheat Montana or the other from across the border Dakota Maid. Price was between Arthur and Bob, but cheaper than the net. Will find out if it’s what I want tomorrow, if I bake a whole wheat brick I will not be happy.