another slice of wry

[upoladeb]

today feels like a good day to reread some of larry j's posts,seems like a real long time since he left.Hope all is well with him.

[Diane Amberg]

I miss him too.I hope his health is alright.

[Bullwinkle]

Old Folk Jokes
 “ A bottle collector goes around his neighborhood looking for bottles. He comes to a house and knocks on the door. An old woman opens it up and gruffly asks, "What do ya want? The man backs up a bit and asks nicely, "Do you have any old beer bottles?" The lady once again asks, in the same harsh way, "Do I look like I drink beer?" The man asks politely, "Well, do you have any old vinegar bottles?" ”

[larryJ]

A couple of blonde jokes I heard recently..........don't be offended.

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all died and went up to Heaven.  God said I will let you in if you can climb this stairway consisting of 1,000 steps.  A joke is told at each step.  If you can make it all the way to the top without laughing at the joke, I will allow you to enter Heaven.

The redhead made it to the 100th step before laughing.  The brunette made it to the 500th step before laughing.  The blonde made it to the 999th step and then burst out laughing.  God, with a look of amazement, said, "How could you come so close to the top and then laugh?"  The blonde said, "I just got the joke from the first step."
..............................................

A blonde went to the emergency room with a gunshot wound to her finger.  The Doctor asked her what happened.  She said that she had decided to commit suicide.  "I put the gun to my chest and then thought I didn't want to ruin the $6,000 boob job I had done.  I put the gun to my mouth but then thought I didn't want to ruin the $2,000 dental work I had done.  So I put the gun in my ear but I didn't want to hear the loud bang so I put my finger in my other ear."

Larryj

[larryJ]

Recently my five year old grandson became hooked on one liners.........Some of which you have to think about........

Two men walk into a bar.....the third one ducks.
Why couldn't the bike stand up?  Ir was too tired.
I have only been wrong once but that was when I thought I was wrong.
Don't you just hate it when someone answers their own questions?  I do.
I was watching a dog chasing his tail.  I thought "Dogs are easily amused."  Then I realized I was watching a dog chasing his tail.
A duck walks into a pharmacy and picks up a prescription.  The pharmacist asked "How are you going to pay for this?"  The duck says, "Put it on my bill."

Oh well.

Larryj

[larryJ]

 An elderly couple were having an argument.  Both were disabled somewhat with the woman in her bedroom and the man in his.  They are communicating by cell phone rather than yelling at each other.  After a while the man gets tired and wants to go to sleep.  So he tells his wife he is hanging up and going to sleep.  But she is not done and keeps calling him back.  Finally he says he is going to go to her room and take her phone away.  But she persists and then goes in his room and takes his phone because he had threatened to take hers.  At first he resisted and then..........

DUH..............

He realizes if she has his phone she can't call him and argue!!!!!!!!!!!

Larryj

[Dignified Redneck]

 I have failed miserably as a cousin of Larry Jordan. I learned today that he passed away in November of 2019. Just thought those who liked his posts would also like to know. Today was his birthday and I found out through a post on Facebook by his daughter. I had thought a couple of times that he hadn't posted lately but got busy with life and never followed up. I also put his not posting to his health problems and didn't really worry about it. He suffered with COPD for a long time. His humor will be missed. I have been told that his humor was in line with the Andrews side of my family tree. Hugs, Larry!!!! Hope you and my dad are revisiting your childhood shenanigans.  Love, Deb