Author Topic: another slice of wry  (Read 193402 times)

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #50 on: July 17, 2009, 10:30:07 AM »
Good one, Jo!!!

Today's--------------------

Anne brought back to the drugstore a tube of topical cream she had purchased earlier.  "I need to return this. I bought it for my vacation, but I can't use it," she explained to the clerk at the pharmacy.

"May I ask why?" said the clerk.

"Well," Anne said, pointing to the tube, "It says right here, 'Directions:  apply locally, two times a day'."

"Okay, why is that a problem?" asked the clerk.

"For heavens sake, I can't apply it locally, I told you I'm going on vacation!"

"So?" asked the clerk.

Looking at him as though he was brainless, Anne sarcastically replied, "I'm going to Arizona, you know, out of state!"

Larryj

HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Offline Judy Harder

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #51 on: July 17, 2009, 01:42:21 PM »
mOANNNNNNN! AND GROANNNNNNNN!  ::) ::) ::)
Today, I want to make a difference.
Here I am Lord, use me!

Offline sixdogsmom

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #52 on: July 17, 2009, 05:14:49 PM »
Larry, this sounds like a Blonde joke gone A-WRY!  ;D ;D
Edie

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #53 on: July 17, 2009, 06:27:40 PM »
Larry, this sounds like a Blonde joke gone A-WRY

Pun intended?

Larryj
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Offline Catwoman

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #54 on: July 17, 2009, 06:50:41 PM »
Very punny! lol ;D ;D

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #55 on: July 18, 2009, 11:09:23 AM »
Todays----------------------


A comely redhead was thrilled at the outcome of her divorce and was dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks.

In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heels in love with him, even though he was a married man.  "Oh, Reggie," she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, "isn't there someway we can be together, the way we were meant to be?"

Taking her by the shoulders, Reginald laid out a scenario:  "Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, hurried lies on the phone, brief rendezvous in sordid motel rooms - is that what you want for us?"

"No---No....." she sobbed, heartsick.

"Oh,"  Reggie said, "well, it was just a suggestion."

Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #56 on: July 19, 2009, 09:44:19 AM »
Another gorgeous Sunday in SoCal and apparently the editors like to put jokes about religion, church, etc. in the Slice of Wry on Sundays, so here is today's----------------------

During the minister's and congregation's silent prayer in services Sunday, a very loud whistle from one of the back pews pierced the silence.

Little John's mother was horrified as suddenly, they were the focus of everyone's attention, including the pastor in the pulpit.  She squeezed his arm to silence him and, after church, asked, "John, whatever made you do such a thing?"

John answered soberly, "Well, I asked God to teach me to whistle -----and just then He did!"

Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

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Offline Judy Harder

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #57 on: July 19, 2009, 02:09:10 PM »
See! He does answer prayer!

Thanks Larry.......oh, God also has a funny bone.
Today, I want to make a difference.
Here I am Lord, use me!

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #58 on: July 20, 2009, 04:28:48 PM »
Alllllrighty then---------this one is for all you moaners and groaners out there---------------


My good friend, Jane, wanted to do something a little different for her vacation so she decided to stay at a western dude ranch in Colorado.

On her first day there, she made arrangements to go for a horseback ride. Miandering down to the corral she encountered a young cowboy ready to help her saddle up and hit the trail.

He was a very pleasant chap and quite encouraging in explaining how tos, what fors, dos and don'ts.  "Now then," he said "what kind of saddle would you prefer-------a western saddle or an eastern saddle?" 

"Well, I dunno." Jane said, "what's the difference?"

The cowboy explained that the western saddle has a horn and the eastern one doesn''t.

Jane thought for a moment and then replied, "Oh, I'll take the eastern saddle-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't intend to ride in traffic!" ::)

Larryj
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Offline sixdogsmom

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #59 on: July 20, 2009, 04:34:45 PM »
OMG! Boooooo!
Edie

 

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