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how funny........ ;D :D
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! >:(
LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Dude! THAT is funny! Cracked me up :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Teresa I don't know if that is Photshopped or not. When I saw it this morning with the wasssuuup title I just had to post it. That is just plain funny. :laugh:
Lol, actually it's real! It's a different angle on when the debate was over and McCain was tryin to go around the podium and did that little shuffle thing and stuck his toungue out! LOL!
LOL..... I LOVE IT.... I LOVE IT..... Lord that's funny! This will definately be a new FAD. All across America's Campgrounds... I can see it now. The Wild Women of Whippoorwill starring at your favorite campground. People will pay to see this and before you know it, our economy will be well again! I'm not sure but, was that Joe, the Plumber handing out those toilet plungers??? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Better watch how much you drink at the bar so you aren't dancing with a man
BREAKING NEWS
In 2009 the government will start deporting all of the weird old people.
I started crying when I thought of you.
RUN, my friend, RUN !!!
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from IOWA.
He told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from ARKANSAS .
He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a girl from KANSAS.
He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean ed, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything. The second day he didn't see anything, either.
But, by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he
could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.
Gotta LOVE those KANSAS Women!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt9lErsLafw
Ugh. Reminds me of some of the tackier family reunions that I've been forced to attend! lol
I posted this last week Marcia..but I watched it all over again ..laughing just as hard.. LOL
I will merge this thread with the other one.
http://www.cascity.com/howard/forum/index.php/topic,5825.10.html
Losing all your friends:
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'
Brother wanted :
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,' send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
Meaning of WIFE :
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
Confident vs. Confidential:
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '
Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '
Anger Management? :
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush '
Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego two days before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin
your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"
the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
Denver and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she
shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't
do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for
Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
FUNNY STUFF!!! I was needing a good laugh! Thanks!
This is just way too precious..
Ashley LOVES toads and frogs.. catches them all the time.. But...never stored them in this way as far as I know.. ....
hhahahahahahahahaa ;D ;D ;D
Ray & Bubba ( mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.'
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'
Bubba and Ray are currently Senators in Washington D. C. .
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. A Bible.
2. A silver dollar.
3. A bottle of whisky.
4. And a Playboy magazine.
'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself. 'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.
'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered. 'He's gonna run for Congress.'
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: now THAT'S funny!
I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher"
JUDY, Judy, Judy, now that is badddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. You come up with some good ones.
Frank
Kids... You can always count on them to be "on top of things".. hahahaha
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you? Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you". The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS"
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." He's still in intensive care.
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, 'I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive.'
'How much?' asked Grandpa.
'$10.00 a pill.' Answered the son.
'I don't care,' said Grandpa, 'I'd still like to try one,
and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow.'
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow.
He called Grandpa and said, 'I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.'
'I know,' said Grandpa. 'The hundred is from Grandma!'