>My husband and I divorced over religious differences.......he thought he was God and I didn't.
>I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
>Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>Don't take life too seriously......no one gets out alive.
>Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>I'm not a complete idiot--some parts are just missing. (My favorite)
>Out of my mind. ......back in five minutes.
>God must love stupid people, he made so many of them.
>The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
>I Have a Degree In Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
>A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
>Stupidity is not a handicap.........Park Elsewhere!!
>A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
>Ham and eggs......a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
>I smile because I don't know what is going on.
>He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.