1. To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.
2. SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.
3. The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren't for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.
4. Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.
5. The increased electricity used by modern appliances is causing a shift in the Earth's magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.
6. In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.
7. The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.
8. Due to the natural "momentum" of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.
9. Although difficult, it's possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.
10. In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models' turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.
11. Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the brain, staring at a blue surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms.
12. Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.
13. Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.
14. Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.
15. Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
16. In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.
17. The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.
18. The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.
19. Silly Putty was "discovered" as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It's not widely publicized for obvious reasons.
20. Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.
Bonus Fact: When I eat 3 watermelons at one sitting, I gotta pee real bad!
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :P
Now about those polar bears...ya wanna think about that a bit? ;D ;D ;D Strange, but very unlikely to be true!
I would question about 99 % of these. For starters Playboy mag didn't come out until several years after WW-II
I think the phrase I am looking for here is...............tongue in cheek. Maybe. Or, grain of salt.......
Jarhead, I believe the phrase was "Propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine", meaning something like Playboy magazine, but not actual Playboy magazines. Guess it depends on how it is worded. Maybe we should ask ole Warph for the source!
Now, I know for sure that it is impossible to rub two Doritos Cool Ranch chips to make a fire. I know because I tried. I got hungry while rubbing them and ate them. Subsequent attempts also failed for the same reason. Combining that action while downing gin and tonics resulting in all the chips being eaten before I could start a fire, but by then I was all warm inside and really didn't care about starting a fire. And then, after eating all the chips dipped in bean dip, and being inebriated, I couldn't really tell if I was passing gas when I went diving. Nor could I tell if the saltwater fish were swimming backward or if I was just going by them too fast.
I could go on, but it's nap time.
Larryj
Never mind, Warph, I found it.
Larryj
When I moved to Colorado over thirty years ago, everyone was in a camping craze.
I was amazed that one could start a fire using steel wool.
I was even more amazed that one could start a fire using water.
When I was a teen living in the mountains of Wyoming, the guys and I would sometimes catch a trout and built a fire and cook it right there on the spot. We always carried a potato or two and some foil and would bury the potato in the embers. Quite a feast for handsome young rugged outdoorsmen! --------------------------building a fire? We always carried stick matches in a waterproof container in our pockets. ;D
Larryj
All I know Larry is do not rub two Doritos together if you are near where a bull water buff took a whiz !!!
Speaking of matches---where does one buy "strike anywhere matches" ?
When did they disappear off the store shelves ?
Some hardware stores and camping supply places still have the big boxes of wooden strike anywhere matches but they came off the general shelves some years ago .fire hazard.
I don't think any of those "facts"are true.Pretty funny though.
Quote from: larryJ on January 10, 2012, 03:46:00 PM
Never mind, Warph, I found it.
Larryj
Found what??? Your bag of cool ranch doritos or your (ugh) gin & tonic? :-\
Warph, earlier I had suggested that we should ask you for the source to the information you posted. But, in surfing I found it, so never mind. Pretty interesting site.
"Ugh" gin and tonics? You are obviously either a beer guy or a whiskey guy, both of which are okay, but I have always been partial to gin and tonics. Well, up until I quit drinking. Sometimes when I go to my son's house, he will ask me if I want one, and sometimes I have one. Not too often, though. My kids laugh when they remember growing up and retrieving a beer from the fridge for good ol' Dad. My daughter swears she knew how to mix a gin and tonic when she was growing up, but I think she is imagining things.
Larryj
Larry Bird has never eaten chicken.
The word spelled most incorrectly in regional middle-school spelling bees is "status".
The Nixon-Kennedy debates of 1960 used a laugh track.
You're most likely to be stung by a bee in windy weather.
65% of all automobile accidents take place within five miles of an Arby's restaurant.
The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" frantic depositors that their money was gone.
The first remote control took 8 minutes to change channels.
In the original plot of "NYPD Blue", Sipowitz was killed while stopping five losers trying to rob Mick Jagger.
Dick Cheney and George Bush own a Quizno's franchise in Houston, Texas.
Home Depot has an arrangement with American Express that if you pay with an AmEx card and the purchase comes to that day's exact American Express's closing stock price, you get the item for free.
Bonnie and Clyde had another partner named Harold who was unfortunately killed in their first holdup.
A Frisbee has been stuck on the top of Washington Monument since 1988.
If you put a compass in a blender for thirty seconds, it will point to the lost cash of D.B. Cooper.
Scientists predict that in late 2084 the television show "Mythbusters" will run out of myths.
The videogame Donkey Kong is based on a true story.
At least two Alamo car rental locations in Texas are managed by descendants of Davy Crockett.
The last words of 47% of American men are "Hey, watch this!".
Lizzie Borden went crazy because her husband put ketchup on his liver and onions.
For $25, New York City allows you to name a pothole.
In America, motorists drive on the right side of the road. In the UK, motorists drive on the left side of the road. In Norway, they drive in the middle.
One of every two thousand babies is born fully clothed.
There are seven words in Tagalog that mean "wet".
Edward R. Murrow's middle name was Rhonda.
Beethoven wasn't really deaf, but only pretended to be deaf when his mother-in-law was around.
The next Survivor reality TV show will take place in Central Park, New York.
The Motel 6 lodging chain got its name from the nine partners who founded the chain. Unfortunately, the original partnership paperwork was filled out upside-down.
Kim Jong Il has a star on the walk of fame in Hollywood.
Albert Einstein died on a mattress in a Serta showroom.
Century 21 actually owns all those trademark yellow blazers; when an agent leaves his/her employ, the blazer must be burned.
People who live together for extended periods end up blinking at the same time.
Dean Kamen, inventor of the Segway, can solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded.
Scientists have discovered a link between the name "Carl" and obesity.
The most frequently used word in the English language is "biscuit."
The only English words ending in the letters "mt" are dreamt and flemt.
Jeffrey Dahmer used Presto's Fry Daddy to dispose of his father's remains.
J. Edgar Hoover's last act as the director of the FBI was writing the warning that appears at the start of movies.
One-A-Day vitamins have tested a "hot-and-spicy" chewable vitamin.
The Harlem Globetrotters actually lost a game to the Washington Generals (July 5, 1989).
Two out of five Americans shower with a bathing suit on.
The first movie that had sound was a documentary on "The History of Gallaudet University".
Silly but funny....and somebody out there surely believes it all.
Crate & Barrel once considered a merge with Linens & Things, forming a new chain "Linens & Barrels".
Bob Saget lives in the old set of "Full House".
Nancy Reagan can palm a basketball.
The earliest English Muffins contained nooks but no crannies.
The longest human pregnancy on record was 37 months.
Every 46 seconds, someone is scalded at Starbucks.
"Planet of the Apes" is based on a true story.
Horoscopes accurately predict future events 85% of the time.
In the early 1900s, a dozen actually was a measurement based on weight. Only in 1933 did the Department of Weights and Measures come up with an item count of twelve as a definition.
The word "apple" comes from the Latin word meaning "apple".
Due to a horse shortage, the 1936 Kentucky Derby was run with giraffes.
Because of an onion allergy, the singer Meatloaf can't eat meatloaf.
Tommy Lee Jones and Kim Jong Il were freshman roommates at Harvard.
The actual Godzilla was only 5 feet tall and was killed by Japanese soldiers within seconds.
Half and half is actually closer to 50-50.
Alan Shepard was the only astronaut to leave his wallet on the moon.
Actor James Woods actually served as the governor of Idaho for a week while researching a movie role in the late 1990s.
In San Diego, California, it is illegal to have a garage sale unless you are selling an exercise bike.
The 11th president, James K. Polk, did not speak English.
Einstein taught that space and time are the same thing. He discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for meetings.
Only 26% of ranchers actually use ranch dressing.
Sheep ranchers counting the number of animals in their herd often doze off.
Archeologists have found evidence in the Middle East that in the Stone Age, mankind had developed a primitive Swiffer.
The original Mickey Mouse cartoon was in the Mouse language, with English subtitles.
President Richard Nixon was an avid CB radio user.
A city councilman (Carl Freeborn) from Asheville, North Carolina is attempting to legally change his name to "Arack Bobama" to perhaps ride on the coattails of another famous politician.
At any given moment, 93% of American TIVOs contain at least one episode of "Sanford & Son".
Ted Williams' last words: "I was kidding about being frozen";.
Gary Busey has won more Academy Awards than any other actor.
Other than man, the elk is the only animal that celebrates birthdays.
A cucumber is 96% water and 4% cucumber.
22% of airline pilots have a child named "Roger".
Liberace was a notorious womanizer.
If you take the sugar and flavoring out of Cool Whip, the result is molecularly very close to the plastic used in ping pong balls.
Contrary to popular belief, if you drive backwards, the odometer does not go backwards. It actually makes the odometer less accurate - up to 10% for each six miles driven backwards.
The brand name "Jelly Belly" was created in 1982 after Nancy Reagan made a much-publicized quip about her husband's 20-pound weight gain, mostly due to his penchant for jelly beans.
BMW is developing a side-view mirror in which objects may be farther away than they appear.
Double-yolk eggs, while larger than normal hen's eggs, actually have less nutritional value per ounce, but take about half as long to cook.
Pond's cold cream has an ingredient which is comprised of material which is found in pond scum.
The Internal Revenue Service audits 87 percent of women who claim breast implants as tax deductions.
Everyone knows that staring at a solar eclipse can blind you. But staring at a lunar eclipse can also harm you - the eye is fooled into allowing too much infrared light into the eye, which can result in red-green color blindness.
The FBI's eleventh most wanted fugitive is Lyle Lovett.
George W. Bush is a member of the mile-high club in Air Force One.
Human tonsils are so dense that they can bounce higher than a rubber ball of similar weight and size, but only for the first 30 minutes after they've been removed.
Elvis impersonators account for much more annual tax revenue than Elvis ever did.
Larry King wears suspenders in the shower.
Police lineups always put the guilty guy in the middle.
As a rule, tall people attract fewer mosquitoes.
Comic duo Cheech and Chong were originally known as Spic and Span before changing due to pressure from Chicano organizations.
At the last supper, Jesus was automatically billed eighteen percent gratuity because his party included six or more people.
To thank the French for the Statue of Liberty, in early caricatures of "Uncle Sam", he always wore a beret (instead of the trademark stovepipe hat).
The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11,284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.
George W. Bush has negotiated with the governor of South Dakota to get his face added to Mount Rushmore. Construction is scheduled to start in 2012.
No death-row inmate has ever asked for tofu as his last meal.
The last dinosaur roamed the earth in 1946.
A Canadian study has shown that if you choose a baby's name before it is born, the baby will most likely be female.
The father of the famous murderer "Son of Sam" actually was named Percy.
Cats really do land on their feet, except when they're in heat.
Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.
In an eighteen month period in 1973-1974, since there was renovation work on the Capitol building in St. Paul, Minnesota, state government was actually run out of an office building in River Falls, Wisconsin.
British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Staffordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.
Rosie O'Donnell was recently offered $1,000,000 to pose nude for Playboy.
The egg of a hummingbird will actually float in mid-air in foggy conditions.
In the northern hemisphere, water goes down the drain clockwise. In the southern hemisphere - counterclockwise. On the equator, water flows both ways, depending on the moon's phases.
Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench sleeps in the crouching position.
Osama bin Laden had seen Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" 15 times.
Studies show newborns will recognize their mother's face more readily if their mother wears glasses.
The curved shape of a hockey stick is a throwback to prehistoric use of mastodon tusks in a similar game.
Male ladybugs always have an odd number of spots, and one spot will always be white.
The record for most appearances on the cover of Time Magazine is 26 by Tom Arnold.
Evian water got its name from the first founder of the company, who remarked, "People have got to be really naive to buy bottled water". The name stuck; Evian is naive backwards.
From 1970 through 1972, the penny actually showed Abraham Lincoln with a mustache but no beard.
A Native American tribe in South Dakota collects bottle caps left by campers, using them as currency. Several banks in the area now recognize the caps as legal tender.
When you flip the 2005 Minnesota statehood quarter, heads will come up 61% of the time instead of the expected 50%.
I Can Fly... Watch me (http://funny2.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/cat.gif)
The St. Valentine's Massacre was set up by Hallmark in the hopes of selling more cards.
The Westminster Kennel Club also hosts an annual Kangaroo Show.
To combat global warming, the United States government is suggesting that when Daylight Savings time ends, Americans set the clocks, thermostats and thermometers back.
90% of the Chuck Norris jokes you see around here were written by LarryJ.
The lead role for the movie "Gandhi" originally was offered to Burt Reynolds.
If you notify the flight attendant that it's your birthday, most airlines will let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
Rome wasn't built in a day, although the contractor told them it would be.
The Sonny Corleone role in the movie "The Godfather" originally was going to be played by Andy Dick.
Square bologna (to fit properly on square bread) has failed each time that Oscar Mayer has test-marketed it.
Round bread (to fit properly with round bologna) has succeeded each time it has been test-marketed, but the difficulty and expense in baking a round loaf of bread makes it unprofitable for bakeries.
More Americans choke to death on bathmats than die in auto accidents.
The "UL" designation (popular in the late 20th century, but not widely used now) was purchased by Consumer Reports in 1995.
When eaten, long vegetables (such as carrots, celery, etc.) that have been sliced lengthwise have double the vitamins absorbed by the body.
Although the publisher Scholastic Books expected more, the last Harry Potter book sold only 320 copies in the first day of sales.
Broadway's Nathan Lane actually lives on Nathan Lane in East Hampton, New York.
Electronics merchant Radio Shack may have to change its name because of a pending lawsuit from Shaquille O'Neal.
Jarheadhad electrolysis in 2005 to remove his eyebrows. The ones you see now are tattooed on.
President George W. Bush locked himself out of the Oval Office fifteen times in his presidency.
Teresa makes her own jewelry.
Tuesday didn't exist on calendars until 1955.
Barry Bonds uses American Sign Language to sign the words "Five Eggs" towards left field after each home run.
Atlanta Falcon star Michael Vick got involved in dogfighting because cockfighting wasn't what he thought it was.
Talk show host Tom Snyder died of a heart attack while mowing neighbors' lawns for extra cash.
According to the United States Treasury, there are four 15-dollar bills in circulation.
Because Rosie O'Donnell has fronted the money for the rock group Kiss's reunion tour next year, the tour will be known as "Rosie's Kiss".
Since the release of the movie "The Bucket List", bucket sales have quadrupled.
It is possible to stand an egg up on its end, but only at the equator, on the day of the Summer Solstice.
Rhode Island is the only state without an active volcano.
Before microwave ovens were popular, KitchenAid experimented with an oven that cooked food with compressed air.
An embarrassed Jarhead had to call AAA when he locked his keys in his car in 1926.
Most toothaches can be prevented by flossing daily for forty-five minutes.
In 1982, Kim Jong Il was a contestant on "Tic Tac Toe"
Time Magazine's 1951 Man of the Year was Moe.
LarryJ attributes his youthful looks to his diet of broccoli and Red Vines.
Since the formula changed in 1998, Silly Putty is 23% less silly.
Goldfish are neither gold nor fish.
The role of Don Corleone in the "Godfather" was offered to Diane Amberg before it was offered to Marlon Brando.
Apple is working on a solar-powered iPod. The only drawback is that the solar panels make the unit the size of a large pizza box.
More funny hooey. I think I know at least one forum member who believe them all if a certain person said they were true. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Diane Amberg on February 14, 2012, 11:55:14 AM
More funny hooey. I think I know at least one forum member who believe them all if a certain person said they were true. ;D ;D ;D
Ah, you're just miffed because you turned down the role of Don Corleone in the "Godfather" and instead excepted the role of Larry in the "Three Stooges." You don't hear Jarhead & LarryJ (Moe & Curly) complaining about their roles, do you?
(Picture below of Diane, LarryJ and Jarhead drinking and pushing the "Bug Juice") (http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=1575832201179&id=58cd1c4ec2ebe6546c69afec615de46b&url=http%3a%2f%2fwww.freakingnews.com%2fpictures%2f1000%2fThree-Stooges--1103.jpg)
Imposters I say! Imposters!
Two-third of explorers who've visited both the North and South Poles developed bipolar disorder.
Teddy Roosevelt was an avid hunter. On one safari, he bagged 16 Avids.
It is physically impossible to do an impression of Rich Little.
The Q-Tip was developed after serious design flaws were found in both the O-Tip and the P-Tip.
22% of Americans say that if it were legal, they might try cannibalism.
Elastic in underwear will last twice as long if you freeze your underwear after washing.
Mr. Rogers and Teresa Heilevang were Snipers in the Vietnam war.
Before Charles DeGaulle was the French President, he was a bounty hunter.
Shania Twain is Mark Twain's great-granddaughter.
Shishkabobs were invented when a Turkish mathematician tried to make an abacus out of meat.
The most common street name in America is 13th Street.
LarryJ is a convicted felon.
In a 1996 phone book, AT&T accidentally listed Sweet & Spicy in Howard, KS with the phone number of a funeral home in Dallas, Texas.
All pencils are painted with a bitter-tasting white primer before the top color coat goes on. This is why the bite marks always are distasteful and are white.
In 2004, Former President George H. W. Bush voted for John Kerry.
All Costco locations are closed each July 1 in celebration of Sam's Club.
In addition to Post Offices and Immigration Offices, you can renew a passport at Denny's.
In late 2012, Earth and Mars will be in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
The only electrical equipment the Amish are allowed to use is a Panini press.
Thomas the Tank Engine has inspired County Cork in Ireland to decorate all their locomotives with faces.
The least popular song to make love to: Taps.
Osama Bin Laden had at one time ordered fleece jackets with the Al Qaeda logo.
Nolan Ryan once threw a fastball so hard it killed both the catcher and the umpire.
No one named Tony has ever won a Tony Award.
In the early 1950s, Philip Morris spent millions of dollars trying to teach dogs to smoke.
In 1987, baseball Hall of Famer George Brett was thrown out of a game for wearing argyle socks.
Like George W. Bush, in college, Jarhead was a cheerleader, in High School.
Nutritionally speaking, bananas are a wonderful source of banana peels.
Pat Sajak can't read.
As of April 1st, 2007, only 4 Segway scooters have ever been sold.
The CNN Christmas party is held at Denny's.
The average American adult weighs 250 pounds.
The original Fruit of the Loom logo included a turkey leg.
Due to a clerical error, from 1931 to 1932 Delaware had a Monkey for Governor.
The most common liquid confiscated by airport security is honey mustard.
Tom Selleck is a part owner of a bakery in Hawaii called "Magnum PIe".
Two original members of the musical group "Three Dog Night" died after eating tainted pet food.
Eric Holder once hosted "Saturday Night Live" as a duck.
Officially, if you say "Have a nice day" to someone after 5 PM, it refers to the next day.
Christopher Columbus actually had four ships: Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria and "Life's a Beach".
No one in Canada has a birthday on March 16th.
Fish have "dandruff" caused by their scales that flake off, and it is impossible to filter all traces of it from drinking water.
Catwoman is an accomplished studio musician, and has played trumpet and woodwinds for the likes of Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra and (most recently) Lady Gaga.
Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.
Kjell Heilevang real name was Lydia Schiffman.
The Hyundai Elantra is China's best selling car, but "Elantra" in some dialects of Mandarin Chinese means "Violation", so the car is actually named "Guana".
"Hello Dolly" began as part of a covert propaganda campaign originally proposed by Prime Minister Tojo during World War II.
More people than you would imagine accidentally swallow their keys.
When you first open a jar of cold cream, because of the chemical reaction with air, it actually is ice cold to the touch.
Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer Simpson, is getting older, and he can no longer properly voice the characteristic "D'oh!." From the sixth season of "The Simpsons" to the present, whenever you hear "D'oh", it's either a dub from an episode originally aired in seasons 1-5, or digitally created on a Macintosh computer.
Newscaster Jim Lehrer is married to the woman who plays Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
Belt loops were invented fifty years earlier than the first belt.
When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread treats for their wives.
Owls only lose feathers during daylight hours, usually when they're sleeping.
Before coming to power, Bill O'Reilly hosted a radio talk show about women soccer.
In the weightlessness of space a frozen Dorito will explode if it comes in contact with a bud lite.
60 Minutes correspondent Mike Wallace owns and operates a chain of karate schools.
Satellite radio receivers (XM, Sirius) will occasionally disrupt radar guns (K-band) used by police to catch speeders.
Barbara Walters is part owner of two NHL teams. She is prohibited from attending when the teams play each other.
In many Eskimo schools, they don't teach multiplication. Division is taught, however.
During the Civil War, America had a demand for tapioca pudding that was not met until the mid-1920s.
The wobble in the rotation of the earth is causing a shift in its magnetic field. By the year 2327, the magnetic North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.
Silica gel, when mixed in with asphalt, makes highways that actually absorb rainfall. A side effect is that automobile tires would last two to three times as long when used on this type pavement. The tire industry has fought this breakthrough.
Teresa Heilevang has problems passing gas at depths of 33 feet or below while scuba diving.
A tank can only be used to hold helium for three fillings (depending on tank size) before being recycled. The very small helium atom actually leaks out of the tank - in between the molecules of the steel tank - in effect actually "eating away" the tank walls.
There is no literal translation for "boss" in Japanese, so in Tokyo, Bruce Springsteen is known as "The Supervisor".
Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.
Fidel Castro's brother Raul has a large collection of Beanie Babies.
Due to a calendar mix-up, there were two years in a row identified as "1953".
Diane Amberg eats 5 lbs. of pitted prunes every Thursday
To research his role in "Tootsie", Dustin Hoffman spent two years living as a woman.
In the early drafts of "Moby Dick", Moby Dick was a giant sea turtle.
In the Blackfoot Indian language, there is no translation for the name "Wilma".
Abraham Lincoln was wearing his stovepipe hat when he lost his virginity.
More than 30% of the world's salt is used to garnish margaritas.
Approximately 200,000 drivers a year are seriously burned by EZ-pass sensors.
LarryJ is on Probation but still has to wear an ankle bracelet.
Well, now I understand. We had planned to go out for a Chinese lunch but I had urgent business at home.
Diane............. ;D
Warph..............it was only a misdemeanor and I served no time. I was later pardoned by President Nixon.
Larryj
There is no translation in the Blackfoot Indian language for the name "Wilma" because I am of
Cherokee descent.
Almost skeered to comment on this thread. :o
Surprisingly, Patriot can't count to 100.
Waldo Gray was the first member of the mile-high club.
Teresa Heilevang was once arrested for playing golf naked.
Wilma was the first woman ever to say "does my voice really sound like that?"
Thomas Edison, among his many other inventions, also invented break dancing.
The earliest rocking chairs only rocked forward.
The original episode of the situation comedy "One Day at a Time" was 24-hours long.
LarryJ the Satellite Guy has an illegal cable hook-up.
If you make a cow laugh hard enough, milk will come out of its nose.
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico is one of three United States towns named after a game show. The other two are Sore Piles, Arizona and Password, Nevada.
By 2025, zoologists believe that the kangaroo will have additional pouches for its iPod, iPad and iPhone.
In some parts of Wyoming, it's legal to hunt the elderly.
To ensure prompt delivery of e-mail, the post office recommends affixing a 45-cent stamp to your computer.
By 2012, Pizza Hut hopes to focus less on pizza sales and more on its hut business.
After breaking his promise not to raise taxes, Dubya used some of the money to buy a Donkey Kong machine for the White House.
Lou Ferrigno complains that years after "The Hulk" went off the air, he'd still turn green when angered.
None of the actors who play characters on the television show "All My Children" have children.
In 1983, General Mills in Battle Creek, Michigan had to stop making Cheerios due to the drill press operator strike.
Each year, 48 customers are accidentally electrocuted at a Circuit City.
Frank Frawin is an avid body builder on the "Rosie Show."
The first item ever patented at the United States Patent Office was the patent application form.
Yellow Hi-liter is an excellent source of Vitamin C.
According to a recently found artifact, it appears that Mary and Joseph's second choice for a name was Kjell.
The average vending machine candy bar is four-and-a-half years old.
Oscar Mayer's wife divorced him because he always came home smelling like bologna.
"Wheel of Fortune" has been rerunning the same 12 episodes since 1998.
Three out of ten doctors admit to licking the tongue depressors before using them.
Jarhead was conceived in a Radio Shack.
Gerald Ford is the only United States president to have walked on the moon.
Babe Ruth's last words were, "the money's on the dresser."
The average person burns 19 calories giving someone the finger.
To create a nurturing, non-judgmental atmosphere, many math teachers now tell children that no numbers are truly negative.
In 1983, the major league baseball all-star game was played without a ball.
Just as Larry is short for Lawrence, Gary is short for Gawrence.
Our shortest president was James Madison at 3 feet, 11 inches.
In Canada, Cool Whip is called Miracle Whip; Miracle Whip is called Caulk.
For the last ten years, SixDogsMom worked for college art classes as a nude model.
According to Diane Amberg, Delaware is the only state whose lemon law only applies to actual lemons.
And here I thought our lemon law was top secret! But at 5 big ones for a dollar, who cares? :angel:
Polar bears can drink as many as 174 cans of coke in a single sitting.
You can get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.
The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains
enough suspended minerals to pave 16 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.
A Wisconsin man was beaten by an angry mob because he asked for "no cheese" on his Whopper.
King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic sultana.
In the early 70s, McDonalds briefly offered customers a choice of French fries or consomme.
Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.
Human saliva has a boiling point twice that of regular water.
37% of women who apply makeup while driving have accidentally swallowed a tube of lipstick.
Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.
Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching two three-hour baseball games.
Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained small particles of real camel dung.
You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.
At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.
Labrador retrievers dream about bananas.
If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind.
Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.
Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost "an arm and a leg."
When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.
After you die, your tongue continues to grow.
Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.
If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.
When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.
The Count of Monte Cristo died from cardiac arrest after eating too many Monte Cristo sandwiches.
In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
The trucking company Elvis Presley where he worked as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.
The "nine lives" attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.
Contestants on the reality show "Survivor" quietly receive a case of Quaker granola bars to eat if they're really hungry.
George Washington died of a wig infection.
The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.
Ingesting small doses of ink over an extended period of time will change your eye color slightly.
In 1960, a then-unknown Dan Rather auditioned for the voice of cartoon character Dudley Do-Right but was turned down by animator/director Jay Ward.
Scientists estimate that sleep lost due to daylight saving time reduces the average lifespan by nearly two full months.
No NCAA basketball team from a school located in its state's capitol has ever won the national championship.
Long before 911 development, mentioned above, some old timer military members might recall that the telephone number for emergencies on post or on base was 117.
Presumably, that has now changed to 911.
117 is the national emergency number in the Philippines.
999 is the emergency number in "just OK" Britain. ;) George Washington never wore a wig. What the heck is a giant sult?
All the bubbles in those Cokes is why polar bears never drown. ;D
911 is used in the US and Canada and some South American countries. Jordan also uses 911.
Mexico uses 080 but dialing 911 redirects to 080.
Dialing 911 in the Philippines also redirects to 117.
Singapore uses 999 but dialing 911 redirects to 999.
The most prevalent emergency number appears to be 112 adopted by all the countries in the European Union and in Russia.
If you need help in North Korea, just dial 119.
Quote from: Diane Amberg on March 10, 2012, 10:55:15 AM
999 is the emergency number in "just OK" Britain. ;) George Washington never wore a wig. What the heck is a giant sult?
All the bubbles in those Cokes is why polar bears never drown. ;D
Sorry... somehow left off the ANA on Sult. Sultana: means Queen; Empress; mistress... it also can mean wife; sister; of a Sultan.
If you are proficient in Urdu like... ah... lets say... Jarhead, Wilma or LarryJ, it would mean کسی سُلطان کی ماں بہن بیوی یا بیٹی ۔ قرمزی مُرغابی
Global Facts About SEX
At Any Given Moment:
FACT:
79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now!
FACT:
58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT:
37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT:
1 elderly person is reading emails.
You hang in there, Sunshine.
4 out of 5 men have gotten their arm stuck in a prophylactic vending machine.
LarryJ back in the pokey for wearing a hoodie while "singing in the rain."
Every United States President with a beard has been a secret Libertarian.
Until last year, National Hockey League games that ended in a tie were settled by the Vice President.
Levi-Strauss lost millions when they marketed a line of blue jeans for monkeys.
At 5 feet, 9.2 inches, Diane Emberg of Delaware, N.J. holds the Guinness Record for the most average height.
Prior to the discovery of Penicillin in 1928, laughter really was the best medicine.
The Army Corps of Engineers has spent millions of dollars trying to cross a bridge before they come to it.
At the height of "Star Wars" mania, Jimmy Carter gave an oval office address in a R2D2 costume.
The original plans for the Statue of Liberty called for the statue to fart but France did not want to spend the money.
In order to become licensed, a courtroom sketch artist must demonstrate the ability to make defendants look "shifty".
Teddy Roosevelt was the last president to wear a monocle in the shower.
A strict vegan Jarhead will not indicate nonsense by using the word "baloney".
Until 1955, traffic signals also included a purple light which meant "up to you".
The National Weather Service has three employees who do nothing but watch for clouds that look like animals.
Leonardo da Vinci drew up plans for the first novelty set of chattering teeth.
You are more likely to be charged by a rhino than to be pulled over for not wearing your seatbelt.
The Dalai Lama's birth name is Doug Reynolds, Jr.
Every Tuesday and Thursday at 4 PM, President Obuma has a jews-harp lesson.
A 150-pound person weighs 165 pounds in Canada.
Due to a misprint, some Gideon Bibles list "the Gospel according to Mark" as "the Gospel according to Marv".
Only 3% of American homes are equipped with a telegraph.
Until 1970, the IRS taxed Monopoly winnings.
To date, "Hee Haw" is the only TV show title based on a sound made by a liberal.
In Tempe, Arizona, it is illegal to yell 'Yahtzee' in a crowded theater.
The city of Tupelo, Mississippi has an experimental program with mounted police using llamas.
The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down, except the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.
People who constantly chew on a toothpick have a greater risk of reoccurring bladder infections.
The only golf course on the very small island nation of Tonga has 15 holes, and there's no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.
The recent tsunami in Southeast Asia has apparently affected the sugar cane crop - the yield is unexpectedly way up, which will in turn lower prices for the next several years.
Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak almost like humans, but don't speak because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.
The LEGO group, creators of the children's building blocks, actually considered making full size Lego blocks to be used by Habitat for Humanity in building homes for third-world countries.
Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender's system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.
Paul Marcarelli, an actor from New York City, plays the "can you hear me now guy" for Verizon Wireless. He actually has cell phone service with T-Mobile as Verizon does not have adequate coverage in his home area of Queens.
Composer Marvin Hamlisch spends much of his free time collecting aluminum cans.
Molecularly speaking, water is actually much drier than sand.
40% of people who believe the moon landing was faked also believe the moon is a spaceship.
Febreze, the product that removes odors from fabric, will not work on wide wale corduroy.
Quote from Warph :
A strict vegan Jarhead will not indicate nonsense by using the word "baloney".
Warph ol buddy, you know I have always treated everything you write as the Gospel---until you wrote this. I'm sitting here hawg'n down on a big ass platter of fresh caught crappie and no veggies in sight.