GOOD IDEAS
If it is true that the mosque near Ground Zero is to promote tolerance;
It was suggested that a gay nightclub be opened next door to the mosque.
Two names suggested are "The Turban Cowboy", and "You Mecca Me Hot".
On the other side they should open a butcher shop that specializes in pork!
And across the street a store that sells and displays bikinis or ladies
lingerie on mannequins ...or live models.
There maybe more truth than fiction or joke in this one. Our current leadership is dividing this Nation the most since the Civil War.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
--We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
I am glad he wrote this as I agree with everything he states. He needs to add Ellen, U2 to his list.
I think the biggest item missed in the "Divorce Agreement" is Hanoi Jane Fonda. She definiterly belongs with the Liberal Left.
Quote from: frawin on September 02, 2010, 05:04:48 PM
I think the biggest item missed in the "Divorce Agreement" is Hanoi Jane Fonda. She definiterly belongs with the Liberal Left.
No... she belongs under a good sturdy tree limb....
Twas the night before Elections
Don't know who wrote this but it's pretty good.
'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!
I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap,
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys
They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!
He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink
He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!
' On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi'
He screamed at the pairs!
They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!
So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!
Amen
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.
''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.''
''Yes, I remember him as a baby'' says the other mother cheerfully.
"He's a martyr now though" the mother confides.
"Oh, so sad dear'' says the other.
''And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.''
''Oh, I remember him,'' says the other happily,
''he had such curly hair when he was born.''
''He's a martyr too'' says the mother quietly.
''Oh, gracious me . . . '' says the other.
''And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would have been 18'', she whispers.
"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, ''I remember when he first started school''
''He's a martyr also,'' says the mother, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says . . .
"They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Warph---ROTFLMAO! Whoops I think I tinkled myself!
HA, HA. ;D ;D ;D
Obama in Heaven
Obama dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates. He is very excited; all his life he's had a secret wish and longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a beard. 'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Jesus . . . You will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question: 'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son . . . . I am Almighty God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?
''Yes! Please, my Lord.'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and yells out: 'Yo, Mohammed - - two coffees!'
Keep your trust in God; Your government has failed you miserably.
;D :angel: ::)
;D ;D ;D
Larryj
lol
Ya'll crack us up! ;)
I LOVE IT !!!
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/FwdFWPre1.jpg)
Everyone has a dream...
here is mine..
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/dropkickpg.jpg)
i gotta post those two pics on my facebook page. gotta piss off some relatives!! SNICKER
5 Surgeons
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think
librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
::)
Oh Judy! LOL you're killing me! And Teresa, I absolutely LOVE those pics!
Here's one for everyone. It's not political tho!
Roger , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'
The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.
PS.. Have I sent this to you already?
I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like his healthcare scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan, I do not like this YES, WE CAN.
I do not like this spending spree, I'm smart, I know that nothing's free.
I do not like your smug replies, when I complain about your lies.
I do not like this kind of hope. I do not like it, Nope, Nope, Nope!
Go green. Recycle Congress in 2010
=====================================================
American Lindsey Vonn to Forfeit her Gold Medal
DATELINE: Lausanne, Switzerland - Friday, September 15, 2010: The IOC ruled that American Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn has had to forfeit her Olympic Gold The International Olympic Committee announced today that it has taken back the gold medal previously awarded to American skier Lindsey Vonn and given it to U.S. President Barack Obama (who gladly accepts any award). Olympic officials said Obama deserved the medal more than Vonn because no one has ever gone downhill faster than he has.
Warph: Good to hear from you! Hope you're healing well!
kakistocracy [kak-uh-stok-ruh-see]
–noun, plural -cies.
government by the worst persons; a form of government in which the worst persons are in power.
;D Are you sure the sweet innocent minds in Kansas will understand that? ;D ;D ;D
Fred Thompson: Reggie Bush has given back his 2005 Heisman Trophy, since he wasn't actually qualified to receive it at the time.
Still waiting for news on Obama's Nobel Peace Prize and Al Gore's Oscar.
Some interesting observations on the Taliban by that great American philosopher,
Jeff Foxworthy.
"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
1.. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
LMAO! Good one, Jo!
Oh, my! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Coffee anyone?
Indian Wanting Coffee:
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male
buffalo with the other.
He says to the waiter:
"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp,
Turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal
to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pullingAnother male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to
The waiter:
"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! []
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says,
"Training for position in United States Congress:
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull,
Leave mess for others to clean up,
Disappear for rest of day."
VOTE 'EM ALL OUT!
:angel:
That was very politically incorrect!....And very very funny! ;D ;D ;D ;D
(http://www.machzracing.com/pictures/Obama%20Burger%20King.jpg)
Oh how true that is. Ya don't mess with northern Joisey
So, the other day I'm walking throught Wal-Mart and see obama christmas tree ordaments, and I think to myself, "Ain't this a bitch, suddenly its okay to hang a nigger from a tree again.!" ;D
Varmit,
You just made my day. God bless you for being truthful about the man that rents the White House. 8)
lol ;D
I loved the video !!!!
Well looky here...Ronald Reagan used to babysit Obama!!!!
Obama tells Michelle to go buy him a suit for the Halloween party in a few days. The next day he sees a Superman costume. He yells at her, "What's this? Have you ever seen a black Superman? Take it back!"
The next day he finds a Batman suit. Again, he yells at her, "What's this? Have you ever seen a black Batman? Take it back!"
Irate by now, Michelle takes it back and when he arrives he sees 3 items on the bed. 3 white buttons, a white belt and a 2x4. He yells at her, "WTF is this?" She yells back, "Get naked. And you can either put the 3 buttons on and go as a domino, or put the white belt on and go as an oreo and if you don't like those ideas, you can shove the 2x4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle!"
Poor man better get used to not getting everything he wants!
Now that really is cute. ;D ;D It's a shame another fellow in a previous joke (and his disciple) had to prove once more what a racist bigot he really is. But he'll be judged by God some day and he won't like the outcome. He'll never understand why what you wrote is true humor and can be appreciated by most everyone what he wrote is only funny to racist bigots.
Quote from: Diane Amberg on October 24, 2010, 08:38:32 AM
Now that really is cute. ;D ;D It's a shame another fellow in a previous joke (and his disciple) had to prove once more what a racist bigot he really is. But he'll be judged by God some day and he won't like the outcome. He'll never understand why what you wrote is true humor and can be appreciated by most everyone what he wrote is only funny to racist bigots.
sighhhhh~~~ We ALL will be judged by God someday Diane... and you, of all people, certainly don't have a clue as to who will like the outcome or not.. And I am far from a racist bigot... but I actually thought all of them were kinda cute.. But of course I like blonde jokes, Polish jokes, old people jokes, Retard jokes, and filthy dirty jokes... so hell ~~ maybe a few black jokes in there will finally topple the scales and send me right straight to hell.. :angel:
But once again.. no one on the gene pool of this Earth will be making that judgment ;).
Teresa,
Don't you get sick of this PC crap ? I think it's kinda perverted to laugh about having a 2x4 stuck up your ass (different strokes for different folks---I guess ) but send people straight to hell for saying something about Kenyan Christmas tree ornaments.
ALERT FROM CDC
Information about Gonorrhea Lectim ...
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease it called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation.
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008 ... but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.
It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout. You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.
Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey, and apparently now Massachusetts, with many more seeing the writing on the wall.
Please pass this important message on to all those bright folks you really care about.
That's OK Jar. Last I heard the folks in Africa have starting shrinking heads again.They favor them for Christmas decorations with the favorite being white American politicians, especially those from the south. They are very cheap to buy and have very little shrinking to do because not a one of them has any brains in there to have to remove first ;D ;D ;D ;D.
Africian headshrinkers...Kenya is in Africa...wow, apparently they didn't want his dumbass either.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the US House of Representatives for assistance. The conversation went like this. "Good Morning. This is speaker Pelosi. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of Last Rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied; "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obligated to first notify the next of kin."
Q. Why does Obama wear a turban?
A. So he knows which end to wipe!
-----------------------
President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses." Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?" The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though."
LMAO Varmit! ;D
Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It's the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
If Pelosi, Reid, Kerry, Schumer and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sank, who would be saved?
.... America!
LMAO~ LOVE IT!!
(http://politics.usnews.com/usnews/php/galleries/image.php/153/21/21.jpg)
Good morning class!
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ue2XpfTMoOE/SaGHgK4eOwI/AAAAAAAAAEc/R0xk-09Cx_s/s400/Nancy_Pelosi_Botox_Smile.jpg)
That is frightening!!! I'll have nightmares for a week.. :o
Please be advised I am sick of receiving questions about my dog who mauled
3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall, 6 illegals wearing Obama
t-shirts, 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts, 2 rappers, 5 phone operators
who asked me to press #1 for English, 9 teenagers with their pants hanging
down past their cracks, 8 customer service desk people speaking in broken
English, 10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.
FOR THE LAST TIME... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!=
TEACHER ARRESTED IN NEW YORK -
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physiques will follow----
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Now that is humor anybody can enjoy, not sure they would have allowed the compass though. ( what's a slide rule? ;) )Very very cute! ;D ;D ;D
A few years ago, I put a leather encased slide rule in a garage sales.
After, pulling it out of the case and examining it, I must have got 100 inquiries as to "what is this?" It seemed just as many people looked at it and put it down with a perplexed look on their face but not asking.
Even some folks did not know what it was when I told them.
It wasn't so long ago that one would not be without a slide rule.
Quote from: twirldoggy on November 13, 2010, 06:26:51 PM
It wasn't so long ago that one would not be without a slide rule.
I think i still have one. :O
Say it ain't so!
(http://www.redstate.com/laborunionreport/files/2010/11/transportation_security_administration_spoof-1-300x144.jpg)
(http://www.cascity.com/howard/animations/chuckle.gif)
He should have known his comment would come back to bite him.. LOL
(http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj216/marshalette/rideinback.jpg)
LOL gotta steal this one nd send to the dems in my family on facebook. I love pissing them off.
I guess by now you all know that President Obama got clocked in the lip during a basket ball game and had to have 12 stitches from the White House Doctor. But did you know that the doc first recommended 20 stitches? Then the Republicans demanded none be used. They then filibustered, saying a band aid was good enough.Then the Democrats, who still have a super majority, got a bill through reconciliation authorizing 12 stitches for this year and 8 more in 2014. ;D
Diane, you telling me that BHO has big lips ??? Next you will be saying he has nappy hair. Shameful !!!
Hey, it was the doc who decided how many stitches he needed. I never saw the injury! :angel:
Priceless!!!!!!! I love it.
---
A woman from Los Angeles, CA who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Kingston, Idaho . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to Shoshone medical center ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care, they turned me down."
8) :o ::) :angel: ;D ;) :P :-* :'( :laugh:
WARNING FROM PAKISTAN !!
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration Mohammed Omar warned the United States that if Military actions against Iraq and Afghanistan continue, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America's supply of Convenience Store Managers and possibly Motel 6 & Super 8 Managers.
And, if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL and AOL Customer Service Reps.
Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to send us no more candidates for President of the United States !
Folks, it's gonna get ugly!
Military Quote Of The Day
"When I joined the military it was illegal
to be homosexual, then it became optional.
Glad I am out before Obama makes it mandatory."
GySgt Harry Berres, USMC
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born the grandson of a Peru, KS native, world traveled youth, President of the Harvard Law Review, Labor Union Apologist, Community Organizer, Constitutional Lawyer & professor, US Senator from the State of Illinois, President of the United States of America elected to be the chief executive officer of the largest economy in world history & to command the greatest military force on earth .... and he can't even button up a coat properly!
Mommy? Do I look ok?
(http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/pb-110104-surf-wh1-jw-9a.photoblog900.JPG)
Photo credit: Jewel Samad / AFP - Getty Images
Located at: http://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/01/04/5764221-surfboard-toting-staffers-obama-family-return-from-hawaii-vacation
HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES:
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell!! They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the
alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.
And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win- win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Congress has announced they intend to make it more difficult to claim Unemployment Benefits.
Starting next Monday, the forms will only be printed in English.
Why are some people so ignorant of the obvious.... especially when it comes to things political! (http://www.emoticonsfree.org/wp-content/uploads/mad0228.gif)