Newbrassky

[Delmonico]

Delmonico looks up, gooey green pus running out of his skillet wound on his head.  "No Trinity, I ain't OK, I have a fever of 104, I think the cut on my head is infected."

" Don't think I can get up and make breakfast.  Check the icebox, I think there is some leftover ham in it."

[Trinity]

"That ol' skillet really knocked ya hard this time, huh?  What ever happened with that new, littler skillet of the FFG's?  Ya need a new braid poulice?  That one ya made last night looks like puddin'." 

[Delmonico]

I'm bad off Trinity, the infection is gonna kill me unless we do somethin'.  Go to yer room and look under yer bed, see if here is some moldy bread.  I've heard that there is suthin' in bread mold that'll stop an infection.

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[Trinity]

Trinity runs to his room and sure enough, under his bed are several large pieces of moldy bread.  Most of them covered in cobwebs and some of them hollowed out with spiders living in them, but there should be enough for Delmonico's needs.  Also Trinity finds a slice of ham which has turned a lovely shade of dark brown.  Trinity stuffs that into his mouth as he rushes off to Delmonico's aid.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico changes the bandage and puts the moldy bread agin' the supporatin', green pus oozing, infected wound.   

"Thanks pard, there is a bottle of 100 year old brandy in the kitchen cupboard, ya can have.  It's in the bottle with the vannilly label on it."

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

(Author's somewhat nasty and graphic note: I am a little surprised that Trinity didn't attempt to eat some of that moldy bread on the green pus of Delmonico's wound, mistakenly thinking it was guacamole.      AnnieLee)

[Trinity]

(Author's note: 

The author is surprised at AnnieLee.  She is touching on subjects that usually only Trinity would dare touch.  Hmmm.    In explanation, Trinity and his Author are both Meatatarians and therefore Trinity would not be interested in any guacamole!   )

[Trinity]

Delmonico changes the bandage and puts the moldy bread agin' the supporatin', green pus oozing, infected wound.   

"Thanks pard, there is a bottle of 100 year old brandy in the kitchen cupboard, ya can have.  It's in the bottle with the vannilly label on it."

Upon hearing Delmonico's offer Trinity's eyes widen and a huge smile emerges on his his face.  He runs into the kitchen, retrieves the bottle and returns to Delmonico's bedside.  He uncorks the bottle and puts it to his mouth and tilts his head back. 

*Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* *Glug* "SHEEWWWWEEE!  This is good stuff!  Thanks ver' much!!!  You want a slug afore Ah finish it Del?  Too bad Miss FFG ain' here ta 'joy it with us!"

[Delmonico]

But Delmonico has drifted back to sleep and his temp reaches 105.    Infected head wounds are dangerous, they can affect the brain.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

(Another author's note: If the infection affected Delmonico's brain, how would we know??  I thought about bringing in the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, but maybe Slim should save him? Or maybe Trinity is having a very bizarre dream?)

[Trinity]

It is becoming clear to Trinity that Delmonico's remedy is not working so he runs to his room and comes back with a jug of his own "Medicine".  

He first saturates a rag with the high proof hooch and places it on the wounds.  "This would sting a bit if'n ya weren't out.  Lucky fer you!"  Next he pours a good portion down his throat in small increments, careful not to choke him.  "You'll be better by the end of the day tomorry, pard!"  

[Trinity]

(Another author's note: If the infection affected Delmonico's brain, how would we know??  I thought about bringing in the Frumpy Fairy Godmother, but maybe Slim should save him? Or maybe Trinity is having a very bizarre dream?)

  Trinity looks up from Delmonico's bedside and tries to figure out where the voice is coming from.  It is not the same as the now famous "disembodied voice" that he has become familiar with, but somehow different.  Hearing mention of the FFG he assumes she must be in the room somewhere.  "Miss FFG, Miss FFG... Where are you hidin?  Is that you?  Are you playin' a game with me??"

[Delmonico]

In his fevered dreams Delmonico is no longer having nightmares about giant capon, but he is havin' a bizarre dream, or rather a brassiere dream, he is now being attacked by one, a 88 triple EEE.

(Read this fast, the moderator will be back in the mornin"!)

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother calls out: "I'm in my room!"

Wrapped in her flannel robe, she is seated at her desk, writing out a letter.

"Dear Mr. Oddjob,

"Please accept the return of the skillet I ordered from you. I am enclosing a copy of the invoice. The one you sent was defective, I did not order one with razor sharp edges! I would appreciate a refund of my money."

She signs it with a flourish.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico reads the last post, in his fever-ish condition he reads it as flour-ish, meaning like flour sort of, he can't figger why the FFg is tryin' to sign a letter with something kinda like flour, most folks use a pen.    

He drifts back to sleep and now Slim is ridin' back to the ranch from Wissyconsion on a pig.

Delmonico wonders why he is usin' a McClellan saddle.   If some gets in his way he won't be able to warn them, no horn.

Delmonico's temp rises to 105.5.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Delmonico's fever has gotten high enough for him to tune in to a cheesy country music radio station out of El Dorado Springs, MO,  (KESM, 105.5 on the dial) and his room blasts with the sounds of music from Garth Brooks and George Strait, courtesy of the "Big Ape."  With the morning comes the brown wagon. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother hands over the package with the skillet and takes the delivery of ice and herbs. With the help of the Bohunks (Yes, they are still around and they have to help their honorary Czech), Delmonico is placed in the bathtub of ice and a proper poultice is placed on his head. After a little while, the cheesy music stops as the fever goes down.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim rodes into the yard on his horse, not a pig.  He unsaddles his horse and put it in the corral. He his saddle bags into the kitchen and put the Wiscoooooooooooooooooooonsin cheese in the icebox. "Hello! Is anyone home?"

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother runs down the stairs to give Slim a hug of greeting.

"Welcome back, Slim! Trinity is off sleeping someplace, I think, and Delmonico is upstairs in the bathtub, 'chilling out.'"

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Delmonico is upstairs in the bathtub, 'chilling out?"  "Is it October already?" 

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

"Well, he opened his big mouth to the wrong person and got his head cut. Now he's got a fever so the ice is for bringing it down."

With one of those "don't blame me because Delmonico was an idiot" smiles, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother moves away from the stairs.

And though she had the grace not to laugh at Trinity's entanglement in the hammock, when he comes out on the porch next time, he'll find a new one hanging, complete with the spreader bars.