Author Topic: Stolen Joke  (Read 74566 times)

Online Sir Charles deMouton-Black

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #140 on: May 01, 2014, 11:04:33 pm »
What do you call a fish with no eye?            FSH!

The secret of success is a secret to many people!

Why do hummingbirds hum ?      Because they can't remember the words.

Did you hear about the corduroy pillows?     They're making headlines.
 
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THE SUBLYME & HOLY ORDER OF THE SOOT (SHOTS)
Those who are no longer ignorant of History may relive it,
without the Blood, Sweat, and Tears.
With apologies to George Santayana & W. S. Churchill

"As Mark Twain once put it, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

Offline RobMancebo

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #141 on: May 02, 2014, 09:16:46 am »
INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS 

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up,  stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'
'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this?  The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.' Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'

Offline The Trinity Kid

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #142 on: June 05, 2014, 04:18:46 pm »
I don't always talk to Obama supporters..

But when I do, I order fries and a Coke... ::)

Heard that on another forum. ;)

--TK
"Nobody who has not been up in the sky on a glorious morning can possibly imagine the way a pilot feels in free heaven." William T. Piper


   I was told recently that I'm "livelier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest."    Is that an insult or a compliment?

Offline litl rooster

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #143 on: June 05, 2014, 09:58:50 pm »
That is funny
Mathew 5.9

Offline litl rooster

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #144 on: June 13, 2014, 01:33:13 am »
The clintons (lower case intended) were so broke when they left the whitehouse.


They had to sleep in the same bed.


Their gardner had to get a drunk from the hose.
Mathew 5.9

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #145 on: Today at 10:50:29 pm »

Offline Arcey

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #145 on: June 15, 2014, 08:53:57 am »
Whaddaya  call a terrorist with ‘is arm stuck up a camel’s exit point?












A personal transportation mechanic…………………..
Honorary Life Member of the Pungo Posse. Badge #1. An honor bestowed by the posse. Couldn’t be more proud or humbled.

All I did was name it ‘n get it started. The posse made it great. A debt I can never repay. Thank you, mi amigos.

Offline litl rooster

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #146 on: July 15, 2014, 12:01:13 pm »
Blonde

Mathew 5.9

Online Delmonico

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #147 on: July 15, 2014, 01:54:15 pm »
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline Forty Rod

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #148 on: July 15, 2014, 02:52:18 pm »
People like me are the reason people like you have the right to bitch about people like me.

Offline Stu Kettle

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #149 on: July 15, 2014, 04:09:39 pm »
I don't get it.   ::)
[/quote

Guess I didn't realize you were a blonde ;)

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #150 on: Today at 10:50:29 pm »

Offline litl rooster

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #150 on: July 15, 2014, 05:31:35 pm »
I don't get it.   ::)

Maybe it's a bald joke too
Mathew 5.9

Offline Forty Rod

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #151 on: July 15, 2014, 05:40:31 pm »
I don't get it.   ::)
[/quote

Guess I didn't realize you were a blonde ;)

Prematurely platinum blonde.
People like me are the reason people like you have the right to bitch about people like me.

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #152 on: July 15, 2014, 08:24:40 pm »
I don't get it.   ::)
[/quote

Guess I didn't realize you were a blonde ;)

He's just old.
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline Stu Kettle

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #153 on: July 15, 2014, 09:47:15 pm »
Prematurely platinum blonde.

He's just old.

I resemble those remarks.

Offline Forty Rod

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #154 on: July 16, 2014, 01:13:54 am »
I got to be this old by respecting my elders.

Some of you whipper-snappers are reducing your odds of doing the same.

Think about it.   ::)    ;D
People like me are the reason people like you have the right to bitch about people like me.

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #155 on: July 16, 2014, 10:45:51 am »
I got to be this old by respecting my elders.

Some of you whipper-snappers are reducing your odds of doing the same.

Think about it.   ::)    ;D

I think most of us have gotten old anyway. 
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline Forty Rod

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #156 on: July 16, 2014, 12:01:20 pm »
Beginner's luck.   ::)  :D
People like me are the reason people like you have the right to bitch about people like me.

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #157 on: July 16, 2014, 12:52:43 pm »
Beginner's luck.   ::)  :D

As my Dr says, if you want a second opinion I can use two fingers. :o
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline Major 2

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #158 on: July 19, 2014, 06:32:08 am »
Women in Leather Dresses

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress,
a man's heart beats faster,
his throat! gets dry ,
he gets weak in the knees,
and he thinks irrationally ?
Ever wonder why?








It's because she smells like a N e w  T r u c k
when planets align...do the deal !

Offline Forty Rod

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Re: Stolen Joke
« Reply #159 on: July 19, 2014, 09:51:44 am »
Or a fine European sports car.
People like me are the reason people like you have the right to bitch about people like me.

 

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