Author Topic: The "Card Game"  (Read 142967 times)

Offline The Trinity Kid

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #450 on: December 08, 2013, 06:50:25 pm »
One of my friends got so mad at her phone that she threw it at a cinder block wall...  Went from Blackberry, to cobbler.  I'll put the cobbler in the pot, too.

--TK
"Nobody who has not been up in the sky on a glorious morning can possibly imagine the way a pilot feels in free heaven." William T. Piper


   I was told recently that I'm "livelier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest."    Is that an insult or a compliment?

Offline Delmonico

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #451 on: December 13, 2013, 09:11:48 am »
Delmonico tosses a string and two tin cans into the pot.
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #452 on: December 13, 2013, 02:54:06 pm »
Deke chases off the goat trying to get the two tin cans.......it looked like Nancy Pelosi.
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Offline Gus Walker

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #453 on: December 13, 2013, 03:11:59 pm »
Gus puts up a like new only driven it church on sundays ex state cop crown vic convertible........
Aye its been quite a ride aint it?

Offline Delmonico

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #454 on: December 13, 2013, 04:07:09 pm »
Delmonico tosses in a 66 VW Convertible with custom safety device and custom paint.

Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline The Trinity Kid

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #455 on: December 13, 2013, 05:46:04 pm »
 Trinity Kid puts in....whatever this is...... ???

--TK
"Nobody who has not been up in the sky on a glorious morning can possibly imagine the way a pilot feels in free heaven." William T. Piper


   I was told recently that I'm "livelier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest."    Is that an insult or a compliment?

Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #456 on: December 23, 2013, 09:46:28 am »
Deacon clears the table and puts out 2 big plates of Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas youse guys! Somebody grab some coffee and cold milk!
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Offline Stu Kettle

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #457 on: December 23, 2013, 01:34:30 pm »
Stu scoots his chair over to the stove, retrieves the coffee pot & says: "Somebody grab me a cup, I can't seem to get out of his chair."

Offline Delmonico

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #458 on: December 24, 2013, 02:35:54 pm »
What size cup, perhaps a D cup?
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline Delmonico

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #459 on: December 24, 2013, 02:38:42 pm »
By Bill Hirschi
You know, I've never been much for shopping
In fact I try to stay away from town -
Except when shipping time comes,
I ain't easily found.

But the day came when I had to go
And I left the kids with Ma.
But before I left, she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"

Without thinkin' I said "sure,"
How tough could that job be?
I bent down and kissed her
and said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, when I done the things I needed
I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing,
I was working up a sweat.

I crossed the street to the ladies shop
With my hat pulled over my eyes,
I wasn't takin' any chances
On bein' recognized.

I walked right up to the sales clerk
I didn't hem or haw.
I told the lady right straight out,
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers
So I turned around to see
At least fifteen women in the store,
And they's all gawkin' at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?"
"Well," I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before
"Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gives me a disgusted look
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Come with me," I heard her say,
And like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
Well I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
When I seen that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I'd not seen before -
I thought that I'd go crazy
'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours,
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel
Like you weren't wearing one at all.
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally made my mind up
Picked a black and lacy one.
I told the lady,
"Bag it up," And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size.
I didn't hesitate.
I knew them measurements by heart,
"Six and seven eighths."

"Six and seven eighths, well sir,
That really isn't right."
"Oh yes ma'am, I'm positive,
I just measured them last night."

I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise.
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I use to measure with,
I figured it was fair;
But If I'm wrong I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they's all crackin' up.
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured
I gave the gal her pay
I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."

My wife heard the whole story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who'd called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For no more women's underwear.
Mongrel Historian


Always get the water for the coffee upstream from the herd.

Ab Ovo Usque ad Mala

The time has passed so quick, the years all run together now.

Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #460 on: December 24, 2013, 02:59:55 pm »
In keepin' with the spirit of poetry:

What I want's
a girl so big and fat,
that when ya go to hug her,
you don't know where you're at!

So you take a piece of chalk
in your hand, and make a mark
where you began.

One day, I was huggin'
and a chalkin',
and beggin; her to be my bride....

I met a feller with a piece of chalk
in his hand,
oh no, he was comin' round the other side!
Yup, I'm that DeaconKC from Surplus Rifle
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Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #461 on: January 20, 2014, 02:01:00 pm »
Happy New Year! New pot, ante up boys. I toss in a bunch of empty .45 Colt brass.
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Offline dwight55

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #462 on: January 23, 2014, 07:03:43 am »
I started to say I'd throw in an armload of firewood, . . . case anybody was cold, . . . but have to renigg on that, . . . it's below zero here again.

Just soon as I get the stove cleaned out, . . . I'll put in a bucket of ashes, . . . y'all can keep the bucket too.

May God bless,
Dwight
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Offline Silver Creek Slim

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #463 on: January 25, 2014, 02:54:15 pm »
Slim throws in a bucket of creosote from the stovepipe.
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Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #464 on: February 08, 2014, 07:36:56 pm »
Pokes the creosote with a worn to the nub #2 pencil with no eraser.
Yup, I'm that DeaconKC from Surplus Rifle
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Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #465 on: March 28, 2014, 07:57:21 pm »
New pot Boys! I'm tossin' an old Smith and Wesson cleaning rod in!
Yup, I'm that DeaconKC from Surplus Rifle
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BOLD 1088

Offline The Trinity Kid

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #466 on: March 29, 2014, 05:28:59 pm »
I'll toss in an uncomfortable bus chair.  Like new, only been sat in for 10 hours!

--TK
"Nobody who has not been up in the sky on a glorious morning can possibly imagine the way a pilot feels in free heaven." William T. Piper


   I was told recently that I'm "livelier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest."    Is that an insult or a compliment?

Offline Modoc

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #467 on: April 17, 2015, 02:15:42 am »
Trinity,

I'll see your bus chair and toss in a pair of crutches.
Modoc

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Offline Major E A Sterner

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #468 on: April 17, 2015, 04:03:58 pm »
FOLD I don't want any crutches
Respectfully,Major E.A. Sterner
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Offline Modoc

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #469 on: April 17, 2015, 05:12:58 pm »
Neither do I ;D

But it beats a walker (not a pistol)

Modoc

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Offline DeaconKC

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #470 on: April 17, 2015, 07:02:50 pm »
I'll toss in an old cap gun!
Yup, I'm that DeaconKC from Surplus Rifle
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Offline Modoc

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #471 on: April 19, 2015, 11:59:53 pm »
And a roll of used caps ;D
Modoc

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Offline Dan Gerous

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #472 on: April 20, 2015, 08:22:58 pm »
Dan Gerous throws in a pair of imaginary antlers from the buck that got away. Trust me, they were HUGE!
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Offline Major E A Sterner

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #473 on: November 01, 2015, 10:06:24 pm »
Time for a new deal,everyone ante up...(Majer throws in a bushel of oak leaves)
Respectfully,Major E.A. Sterner
G.A.F #118
R.A.T.S.#125
"If violent crime is to be curbed, it is only the intended victim who can do it. The felon does not fear the police, and he fears neither judge nor jury. Therefore what he must be taught to fear is his victim." - Jeff Cooper

Offline Russ T Chambers

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Re: The "Card Game"
« Reply #474 on: November 02, 2015, 06:41:33 am »
I'll match that with a couple garbage bags of pine needles!
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