When his retirement is announced along with his farewell tour, a dozen different paint (wrap) schemes and matching die cast models for each, ball caps of different descriptions and each officially the one-and-only, tee-shirts, jackets, bobble heads, coffee cups, Kentucky Fried Chicken collectors’ buckets, maybe even a Jimmie Johnson edition Holden Commodore and Lord knows what else for fools easily parted from their money to buy – I might believe he’s retiring.
When I see Johnson in an ESPN fire suit on pit road with a mic in hand talkin’ NASCAR dictated stupid sh*t (ala Andy Petree – ‘You X-Games fans out there, Pastrana is progressing.’) while the drivers are belted in, the nets are up and the motors runnin’ – I’ll believe he’s retired.