Cas City Forum Hall & CAS-L

GENERAL TOPICS => Tall Tales => Topic started by: RollingThunder on October 14, 2008, 01:52:30 PM

Title: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: RollingThunder on October 14, 2008, 01:52:30 PM: The Multi-Lingual Pony
© 2008 Roland Millington, All Rights Reserved

Rufus Cahill was a rough-stock breaker up by Jackson Bear
For Willis McGahee, who’d invited me up for some fresh air.
Now, Rufus was might peculiar ‘bout how things got done in his corral.
There was sweatin, and hollerin, and any hoss there weren’t his pal.

Well, ‘bout the third day I’s there, Will and me heard a big yell
It was enough to make a sailor blush, and enough for us to tell
That things just weren’t goin’ well for Rufus durin’ that there breakin’.
It was pert-darned plain to figger from the ruckus Rufus was makin.

“Now, Rufus, I done told ya, ya got to settle him down.
You cain’t go a whoopin’ it up, an’ ‘spect things to go to ground.”
It was nigh ‘bout this time, I decided to have some fun
‘Cause Will had done let me in on what was up with this one.

See, Rufus was a good rider, pert’ near nothin’ he couldn’t sit
And he had hisself a temper, but also had no quit.
So Will knew he’d just keep tryin’ no matter what he drew.
He just had to find a new way to man up and ride on through.

So I thought I’d push things along, and help out just a bit.
‘Cause I was ‘bout the same way, when I’s a little git.
So I stepped up on the fence an’ I sets to counselin’ Rufus
“You know, I’s just thinkin’ there’s somethin’ we should discuss.

“There’s maybe somethin’ you over looked with this here sunfish
“Is it possible this Pony don’t know cusswords … in English?”
Well, ol’ Rufus done looked at me like I had me an extra head,
But then he paused, and set for a moment, thinkin’ on what I said.

“You know, mister, maybe you gotcha somethin’ there.
“’Cause I was swearin’ in English while he was whippin’ air.”
“You say he don’t speak English, but I can’t cuss in Spanish
“So I s’pose I should get to talkin’ in good ol’ fashioned ‘whoopass.’”

Well, I looked at Will, and over at the stout Palomino.
Will only smirked, and I figured it best to let it go.
Rufus snubbed him down, after a twenty minute match
And got the blindfold on him, but not without a scratch.

He slick-saddled the pony, and mounted him on the fly
Ripped off the blindfold, and they both lit up to the sky.
Rufus was a’ cussin’ and I found it weren’t all true
‘Cause I think he was swearin’ in Spanish, and a little French, too!

But the Palomino was a beast, and kept on wheelin’ round
Like a bad-check passin’ salesman, he wanted outta town
He rooted and he grunted, and darned if Rufus didn’t too
Will sure was right, that boy could really hang a shoe

On danged-near any hoss, who got in his round pen
And I thought the Palomino might just give up when
All at once, that palomino cut out with a big old grunt
And Rufus lost his seat, and went flyin’ all out front
Of the stout-legged critter who was still up in the air
Shoot, ol’ Rufus couldn’t even squeak out a tiny, little prayer.
Two big legs landed astride the unhossed cowboy’s head
And Rufus musta thought for sure, he was ‘bout to come up dead.

The Palomino stepped aside of him, actin’ all polite
And Rufus, nor Will, nor me, knew what to think of that there sight.
We had figured we’s about to witness a Rufus Cahill pancake
But when that stallion side-stepped, no one knew jes how to take

The fact that Rufus was breathin’ and not smished to bits.
It was kin and testament to a hoss’ good grace and wit.
Sorta like that Palomino had hisself somethin’ to say
And once he’d said it, left it fer Rufus to sit and weigh.

It was awful quiet, in that dusty, hazy round pen.
All you could hear was the breathin’ of a hoss and three men.
Old Rufus was OK, and looked none the worse for wear.
‘Cept for his bruised-up ego, and his dinged-up derriere.

I know I shouldn’t have, but in the end I couldn’t help it.
See I used to be a Rufus, too, and had been right where he set.
So I cleared my throat, dipped my hat and looked on over at Will
And he just looked away, hopin’ Rufus’d got his fill.

“My, oh my, Rufus,” I began with great aplomb.
“That pony was part whirlwind, and part Hiroshima bomb.
“He done took you left, and you done matched him right.
“Why, you almost got him rode, son, you put up a good old fight.”

“But we’s both wrong ‘bout one thing, Rufus, my old fella.
“He’s a multi-lingual pony, in a pretty shade a’ yella.
“I know now he speaks whoopass, that much is surely true
“But you know what else, Rufus?”

“I think he speaks it better’n you.”
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Tensleep on October 14, 2008, 02:01:46 PM: Good 'un ol' boy! ;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Arcey on October 14, 2008, 02:19:42 PM: No.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Lucky Irish Tom on October 14, 2008, 03:00:55 PM: Good one RT!
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: RollingThunder on October 14, 2008, 10:55:15 PM: LOL. I loved Arcey's reply. Priceless!
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: litl rooster on October 14, 2008, 11:09:10 PM: surely is a gud un
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 17, 2008, 05:38:56 PM: Great stuff. I missed it when it first came up, but glad I saw it taday.
Stubbern verses stubbern is a regular theme 'round here :D

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 17, 2008, 06:20:29 PM: I had a Palomino when I was a kid. I talked to him alot when I was ridin' him.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: litl rooster on October 19, 2008, 07:20:39 AM: Montana had one she talked to a bunch...She was always saying "whoa damnit" ;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 19, 2008, 08:49:11 AM: I got Sandy when I was 4 and he lived to be 33 years old. He stayed in the same pasture all his life. I quit ridin' him after he got older. He was a good cow horse.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Lucky Irish Tom on October 19, 2008, 08:33:33 PM: Quote from: litl rooster on October 19, 2008, 07:20:39 AM
Montana had one she talked to a bunch...She was always saying "whoa damnit" ;D

Why'd she name her horse Damnit? ??? ::)
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 19, 2008, 09:00:28 PM: I ain't got much horse 'sperience, but I could see a body choosin that name ;D

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 20, 2008, 12:22:57 AM: That's sorta like those T-shirts that say "I'm with Stupid" and "Stupid".
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: RollingThunder on October 20, 2008, 07:40:44 AM: I used to have a T-Shirt that said, upside down, "If you can read this, please put me back on my horse."

LOL. Loved that shirt.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 20, 2008, 09:07:54 AM: That's a good one, RT.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Russ T Chambers on October 20, 2008, 10:35:49 AM: Not quite horse related, but the tee shirt brought it up. My license plate frame has reverse letter that says (so it looks right in a rearview mirror)
:
IF YOU CAN READ THIS

YOU’RE DRIVING TOO SLOW
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: RollingThunder on October 20, 2008, 12:12:03 PM: as them Guinness commercials say, "Brilliant!" ;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Arcey on October 20, 2008, 12:33:59 PM: One I saw onna biker’s T.

If you can read this, my bi+ch fell off.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: RollingThunder on October 20, 2008, 12:41:52 PM: Reminds me of one my best friend's wife has. "If you can read this, this b+tch knows how to stay on!"

LOL.

Every go to despair.com and read the unmotivational posters they have there?
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 20, 2008, 12:56:59 PM: Looked over there a few years back. It's good fer a chuckle.
My wife's ex wore the shirt Arcey mentioned the day he came ta get his stuff after she kicked him out. She says she'd see him ridin around town an he didn't change that shirt fer several days. Guess it was his way of makin a statement. She says it didn't bother her at all, and had said, "I didn't fall off, I jumped" :D

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: RollingThunder on October 20, 2008, 01:37:40 PM: Sometimes ya gotta jump. LOL.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 20, 2008, 03:58:32 PM: The more time I'm around people, the better I like my horse.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Tensleep on October 20, 2008, 04:02:23 PM: Tha best thing for tha inside of ah man is tha outside of ah horse. ;)
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 20, 2008, 04:14:22 PM: Quote from: Tensleep on October 20, 2008, 04:02:23 PM
Tha best thing for tha inside of ah man is tha outside of ah horse. ;)

In kinny garden they tolt us that eatin glue was bad fer our insides.

OK, I'm bad, I know.

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 20, 2008, 11:21:18 PM: Leo, you're missin' the point, it's not about eatin' horses or horse by-products, It's about ridin' and enjoyin' the outdoors.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 20, 2008, 11:37:57 PM: I didn't miss the point, I was just being a wise a$$. ::)

I would like ta spend alot more time on the back of a horse, it seems like a good way ta get in touch with everything that matters.

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 21, 2008, 04:25:25 AM: It is. It has been too long since I have felt the outsides of a horse.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Lucky Irish Tom on October 21, 2008, 04:40:14 AM: Something beautiful about sitiing a horse and watching the sun rise! ;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 21, 2008, 05:05:13 AM: With a good cup of cawfee.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: litl rooster on October 21, 2008, 08:42:27 AM: If ya cain't do it Horse back, it ain't worth doin'
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Tensleep on October 21, 2008, 08:45:46 AM: Quote from: litl rooster on October 21, 2008, 08:42:27 AM
If ya cain't do it Horse back, it ain't worth doin'

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ::)

Can't wait to see Leo's comment on this one....

;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: litl rooster on October 21, 2008, 08:58:31 AM: Quote from: Tensleep on October 21, 2008, 08:45:46 AM
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ::)

Can't wait to see Leo's comment on this one....

;D

;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 21, 2008, 10:27:30 AM: Neither can I ;D
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Arcey on October 21, 2008, 10:43:23 AM: Yer on yer own, Leo. I ain’t sayin’ horse-sqeeze……
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 21, 2008, 12:21:01 PM: Help me out here someone.
What was the name of the nekkid broad that rode a horse in that old story? This is the kind of trivial crap I usualy pull out of the air, but this one's eludin me.

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 21, 2008, 12:22:12 PM: Never mind, as soon as I hit post it come ta me. Lady Gadiva.

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Tensleep on October 21, 2008, 12:23:23 PM: Close,

Godiva
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 21, 2008, 12:59:49 PM: Just like the choclates of the same name.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Lucky Irish Tom on October 21, 2008, 02:40:41 PM: Quote from: Texas Lawdog on October 21, 2008, 12:59:49 PM
Just like the choclates of the same name.

Nekkid Chocolates! :o

Slim, this is supposed ta be a fambly board!
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Tensleep on October 21, 2008, 02:43:01 PM: Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on October 21, 2008, 02:40:41 PM
Nekkid Chocolates! :o

On horseback even ::)

Quote from: Lucky Irish Tom on October 21, 2008, 02:40:41 PM
Slim, this is supposed ta be a fambly board!
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Arcey on October 21, 2008, 03:12:40 PM: When the hag decides ta ride the nag in a No’easter, lemme know.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 21, 2008, 04:19:12 PM: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 21, 2008, 08:34:59 PM: Fambly board, shmambly board. We got nekkid chicks ridin horses AND chocolate.
In this little werld it don't matter 'bout spellin either, but thanks just the same.

I'm watchin the winds fer ya Arcey. That hair is bound ta move sooner er later ;D

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 21, 2008, 10:20:00 PM: Too much SprayNet, Leo.
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Leo Tanner on October 21, 2008, 11:00:54 PM: Ahh fiddle sticks >:(

I thought Aqua Net went away with the 80's. Foiled again.

Leo
Title: Re: Ya ever talk to your horse and wonder why he don't understand ya?
Post by: Texas Lawdog on October 22, 2008, 06:01:29 AM: There's still plenty of it here in Texas, The Place where BIG HAIR is alive and well.