I just pinched this from Paladin UK!
> Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local
> golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind
> if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
>
> "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
>
> So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
> newcomer.
>
> Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do
> you do for a living?"
>
> "I'm a hit man," was the reply.
>
> "You're joking!" was the response.
>
> "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
> beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
>
> "Here are my tools."
>
> "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a
> look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
>
> So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of
> his house.
>
> "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see
> right in the window."
>
> "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ah-ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait
> a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her..... He's naked, too!!!"
>
> He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
>
> "I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the
> trigger."
>
> "Can you do two for me now?"
>
> "Sure, what do you want?"
>
> "First shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."
>
> "Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his willy off to
> teach him a lesson."
>
> The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few
> minutes.
>
> "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
>
> "Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand
> here..."