Irish Tom's "Greener than Grass Pub"

[Ozark Tracker]

The eller funk pauses as the sounds from Slim grow louder and louder.

[Delmonico]

Suddenly Slim finds a small green building hidden in the trees.

[Ozark Tracker]

althuogh the little green building is hidden,  there's no hiding the sounds comin from it,  the eller funk raises his trunk and bellows as loud as possible.

[Advertising]

[Delmonico]

Suddenly there is a sound that seems to sound like a large pucker,  mmmmmmmmmsssssssskkkkkkkkkkk.

[Ozark Tracker]

then just as suddenly the sound of a  high pressure vessel leak

[Delmonico]

And a sudden rush of water.

[Sod Buster]

And a sudden rush of water.

The eller-funk is waiting outside.....and so is Slim's gun.

In his rush to open the door and drop his drawers, he left the big gun leaning against the side of the building. 

[Delmonico]

And to make matters worse he finds out there is no toilet paper.  There is however a large wasp nest on the toilet paper holder.

[Sod Buster]

And to make matters worse he finds out there is no toilet paper.  There is however a large wasp nest on the toilet paper holder.

Hmmmmmmm....Is Slim gonna have to resort the the third world practice of eating with your right hand and wiping with your left??
Or can he somehow find a way to scare off the wasps and use the wasp paper......

Stay Tuned!

[Delmonico]

Besides the wasp and paper problems, there is more trouble for Slim.     He finds a window and looks out and finds how big the eller-funk really is and how really small that patch of brush is.

[Marshal harpoluke]

Besides the wasp and paper problems, there is more trouble for Slim.     He finds a window and looks out and finds how big the eller-funk really is and how really small that patch of brush is.

 

 

 

[Russ T Chambers]

A small stranger comes ridin’ through  the thread with a set of instructions on how to catch the eller-funk.

Dig a deep pit.
Fill it partially with ashes.
Place a row of peas around the pit.

Wait!!

When the eller-funk comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole!!!

[Ozark Tracker]

Ok, just who's gonna be in charge of the kicking           Slim

[Delmonico]

Stuck in that outhouse he ain't gonna be kickin' nobody's.................................................................

<Author's Note: Fergot to mention that outhouse is the one at our farm, since we have modern plumbing in our trailer house that explains the weeds grown up in front of the door.   However in the fall when it gets cold we drain the water and use the outhouse.  Built in 1988 , it has regular toilet seat, and the bench coveres a culvert that is the hole.  The hole for the culvert was dug 8 feet deep and gravel but 3 feet deep in the culvert and gravel about a foot thick on the outside of the culvert, which also has numerous holes in the lower end.   

The foundation is hand mixed concrete 1 foot thick with re-bar.  A drain to the hole was placed in the floor with a slope, this allows it to be washed with a hose upon removin' the toilet paper from the holder.  Extra is stored in a metal can with tight lid to prevent mice.   The stucture is 5/8 plywood on 2X4 framing which is held down with bolts set in the concrete.  The door is 7 foot high to allow most any tall person with a cowboy hat access with out stooping. >

[Ozark Tracker]

Sounds like a nice outhouse,  there are a few new ones being built around this area,  mostly at hunting cabins, rather than bother with plumbing and having to keep it from freezing in the winter,  an outhouse is built and for water inside the house a hand pump is used, winter comes drain the pump and your ready for freezing weather.

[Delmonico]

<Authors Note:  BTW, the old one was about 50 years old, wish we would have taken pictures when we burned it down, two 16 oz pop bottles full of coal oil on the seat, light both rages, count to three, my brother and I shot the bottles. >

[Lucky Irish Tom]

Sounds like ya need ta send them outhouse plans ta HGTV, they could do a This Old Outhouse segment or mebbe have them Yuppie deeziners come up with a color scheme an some decoratin ideers.

[Delmonico]

T'wernt no plans, just built it.   The only thing that was planned was supper was in the dutch oven (I only had 1 in 88 )

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim strikes a lucifer and sets his hat on fire to smoke out the wasps so he can finish his duty. 

[Delmonico]

The Eller-funk smells the smoke from Slim's hat and figgers out where he's Hidin'.  The Ellergunk gets ready to pounce.