Ole's Night Before Christmas.....

[The Arapaho Kid]

 
On da night before Chridtmas, it's still in da house.
My family is sleeping so I'm quviet like a mouse.
I look at my vatch....and midnight is near....
I tink I'll sneak out for a cold glass of beer!
Down at da corner....da crowd is so merry....
I end by drinking about twelve Tom and Yerry!

I get to bed late and Ye Vis how I'm sleeping...
When onto the bed those darn kids they come leaping!
They sit on my face and they yump on my belly!
I'm quivering all over...like a bowl full of yelly!


Dey scream Merry Christmas and my poor vife and me...
Ve stomble down stairs and she lights up the tree.
My head is exploding! My mouth tastes like a pickle!
I trip on a skate and fall on a tricycle!

Yust before Christmas dinner...I relax to a point,
The relatives start swarming all over the yoint!
On Christmas I hug and I kiss my vife's mother.
De rest of de year....uh....ve don't speak to each other.

After dinner, my aunt and my vife's Uncle Louie....
Get into an arguement. Dey're both kinda screwy!
All my vife's family say Louie is right,
And my goofy relations...dey yoin in de fight!

Back in the corner...de radio is playing...
And over the racket David Brinkly is saying:
"Peace on Earth everybody and good vill toward men!"
And yust at that moment....someone slugged Uncle Ben.

Dey all run outside whooping so da neighbors will hear.....
Oh....I'm so glad that Merry Christmas...comes yust vonce a year!