To: Bvt Brig Gen Pitspitr Commander Grand Army of The Frontier
Ladies and gents of the GAF at large,
Sir,
On 29 July 2018 the Division of Illinois held its annoual muster at Dry Gulch Ranch near Winnebago, Illinois. Total reporting for duty; 5 troopers.
This day the gatling gun, 2x4, 3 stages, precision rifle, and precision pistol were observed. And, the class winners as follows:
Mil-spec single shot: JL Knaak
Mil- spe repeater: Msgt Long
Scout: Snidely Whiplash
Johnny Popper
Cadet: Connor Long
Precision rifle: JL Knaak
Precision pistol: Msgt Long
Lunch was served after the match by myself and consisted of "mystery meat", chesses, fresh baked breads, and some donated bakery goodies. Cold drinks were available, but alas the enemy fire broke the jug of Jameson!!
Oh lest I forget, Richard Stroker was turned over by the Winnebago County Rangers. A courts-martial trial was convened, he was found guilty of desertion in the face of the enemy and his sentence was carried out (ie we blew the H out of a 2x4!!).
This concludes my report.
Bvt Lt Col Long, Commanding, Division of Illinois.