Del, I think the General (US Scout, not the p/u) is suggesting that maybe it's time to find a younger pickup (maybe something that's only 19 or 20) and name it The Private.
Over time maybe SCR will promote it to General too.
BTW, I love the smell of coffee in the morning too but maybe you could find a picture to use with that caption in which the subject matter has longer hair, less facial hair, is younger, oh, and only has X chromosomes