Ark-e-olly-jests

[Delmonico]

I don't think I've ever posted this, but have shared it a lot at work and on the phone, if you dig up dead people and old cities for a livin' don't be offended, but laugh with me or at you, your choice.

But I have noticed a lot latlely every time I sit done to eat and for nothing better to do I turn on the TV and it seems like there is a show on trying to explain Stonehenge, now this is silly cause we all know it was build out of boredom on year during re-run season.  (Please send Grant Money, a new theroy has unfolded. )

But did you ever notice that any time they don't know what it is it has religious or ceramonial significance?

Well I got a theory, 3000 years from now a bunch of Ark-e-olly-jests will be digging up a farm in the midwest, ocupied last in the late 20th century.  Well they don't know squat about any thing they find, but they have seen it before and so it's important.

Well they dig at the house, and sift the soil, make grids and record everyting they find and it's similar to the last site.  Now they move to the barn, same thing and also with the machine shed.

Well between the machine shed and the barn the metal detector goes crazy, they dig and in a circle with no signs of a building being there they find:  beer bottles, cultavator shovels, mower sections, horse shoes, old lawn mowers engines, a leaf spring and the tail gate off a 1968 Ford pickup  and much other "junk", this is all in a circle.  They don't know what this stuff is, but its vaulable to the late 20th Century Farm Culture, cause they find it in the houses, barns and machine sheds they do digs on.

In the center of the circle is another circle with nothing in it.  So they send a soil sample to the lab out of this circle.  Lab report say "there was a mulberry tree growing there when this stuff was put down over a several year period of time."

Conclusion: "Farmers in the late 20th century worships mulberry trees and offered valuble goods to the "Mulberry Tree God."

You may now wipe off yer screen.  Do make an offering next chance you get.  J. Sterling Morton started Arbor Day so farmers on the Great Plains had a place to put their junk.

[Scattered Thumbs]

 


That reminds me of the story about Akira's Kurosawa "Kagemusha" For those who don't know it it's set in 16th Century Japan.

Lots of things had been said, by movie critics, about a particular camera angle in the middle of the movie. Until the day that in an intervue someone asked the Master about the why in such camera angle.
The answer... It was the only angle that didn't show the highway 

[Delmonico]

It seems the conclusion was a bit pre-mature on this, recent discoveries has lead to the conclusion that there also was a large group of farmers during the era that perfered to worship the Chinese Elm tree, since this is not native to the region it is concluded that these farmers crossed the ocean in some sort of a boat and setteled in the region, bringing the Chinese Elm Tree God with them.

These immagrents from Asia seemed to have gotten along well with the natives of the region and even traded goods from their native China and other Asia coutrys with the Natives.  this is based on the amount of Asian goods found in the sites that clung to the Native Mulberry tree as their god.

More one this as information from these and other digs can be annie-lized.

 

[Advertising]

[litl rooster]

Delmonico you may want to apply for some grant money before you do anymore digging.

[Delmonico]

Another strage conclusion has came up on th recent farm site digs.  The Chinese Elm God apeared in the 1920's but the goods from Asia did not apear as sacrifices till the 1950's and these goods were not Chinese but from Tiawan, Japan and Hong Kong.

The Mainland China offerings do not appear till the 1980's.   This is very strange and requires more resarch.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

"Annie-lize", is that when I zap you with my laser for being a grumpy miscreant?



AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

Some one who annie-lixes is an annie liz-ard-er.   Now this is serious stuff here, we are tryin' to find out about farm folks in the late 20th and early 21st century.   

[Bushwack Bill]

If you need to have a good laugh or scratch your head, get a load of this.  About ten years ago Archyologist diving off the California cost found what appeaded to be stone doughnuts on the ocean floor.  Further investigation had these geniuses concluding that a fleet of Chineese merchant ships got blown off course and wrecked on the pacific coast of what is now California.  The Stone Doughnuts, big ones at that, were declared to be the type of anchors used by the Chineese seamen.

This gave way to their claim that the Pacific Coastal Indians were decendants of The indiginous Native Americans and the Chineese sailors.

That being said..............................

[Delmonico]

Saw a fellar that was an eddy-cated ark-e-oll-jest on TV last night, he was investigatin' Monmouth Battle site.  He was braggin' bout' this for-e-la he developed where he could take a spent musket ball that was deformed and weight it and use his conversion and tell what cally-burr it was by weight, even named it after himself and it has shed new light on battles now that others are usin' it.  Heck I gots a black powder book that was printed in 1967 that has a chart that will tell with out doin' no fancy cyferin'.

Few eddy-cat-ed historians know squat about firearms, it makes them look pathetic to those who understand them.

[Delmonico]

It ain't just Ark-e-oll-jests, it's climb-e-tolly-jests also.  Turned on TV the other night while I was eatin' supper, nuthin' on so I turned it to the National Goe-grafic channel and they was trying to 'splain how global warmin' was gonna cause a new Ice Age.

[Crooked Creek Kid]

Delmonico, I think I get where you're going with this.  Think about this for a second.  These ark-e-olly-jests find a vault with video tapes in them.  Sealed up tight.  They annie-lizard them and all that is on this tapes are commericals for...that thing about loves dysfunction.  Hundreds of commericals about nothing but ED.  Makes you wonder what the future opinion of males in our lifetime will be.

[Delmonico]

Or other malady's.

[El Peludo]

Del, I just tripped over this thread; thanks for a good chuckle.

About them edjymucated folk seeming to not know their backside from their front, it ain't just them "olly-jest" folks; seems that more and more, people who are put forrard to be in the know about stuff, really don't, but some feller has written something for them to read on the TeeVee, and they just read it, without knowin' whether it's right or not.  Something on one of our local network news programs, recently, about something to do with electricity, was so completely out in the pasture, as to be dangerous if used as a base for action on the part of an inexperienced person.  Well, electricity being my lifelong money earnin' business, I just couldn't let it go; I wrote and e-mailed the program manager, station manager, and anybody else I could find to lambaste about it, and you know what happened??  NOTHING!!  No correction, no retraction, zippo-zero!!  Ohhh-  Sorry!  Rant off.

Speakin' of mullberry trees, we have three really big ones in our front yard, and ya' got a guess as to what lies right in the middle betwixt them??  I wonder what them ark-e-olly-jests would make of digging up a septic tank and leach field, after coming to the previous conclusions.   

[Delmonico]

I had to dig this one up after watchin' 15 minutes of that show the other night.

[Forty Rod]

Just sitting here wondering what they're gonna think in a thousand years or so when they dig up Las Vegas.

[Delmonico]

And find 337 Elvis jump suits.  

[litl rooster]

And find 337 Elvis jump suits.  

Elvis is not dead nor will he ever be   so leave the shiney jump suits alone....Before one of the Elvis's go Hy Karate on ya.

[Trinity]

Elvis is not dead nor will he ever be   so leave the shiney jump suits alone....Before one of the Elvis's go Hy Karate on ya.

Ain' that a man's PER-fume?

[Delmonico]

Ya, but I use "Old Spice" it was good enough fer Grandpa.