Newbrassky

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Later in the day, when Delmonico comes out from hiding to use the Wegewood porcelain, he finds it carries the scent of his "perfume." So does the outhouse.

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So do all his quilts and sooguns.

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And any pillows he has.
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Duke almost got sprayed, but the Frumpy Fairy Godmother knows men, and how they have this weird conditioned reflex to urinate on the pink cake, so she spared Duke. For which he is very, very grateful.
 

[Trinity]

 

Affraid to get caught up in the midst of this battle an not quite sure how the "pink cake" bacame involved, Trinity decides it is time to disappear.  He removes his boot and tiptoes out the door, carrying it with him.  Outside he puts it back on and runs as fast as he can.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico notices that the wierd little green light that is on the FFg's door has gone out, so he knows she is asleep.  He then goes down in the cellar and gets a large box and carries it upstairs.   It was 70 today and knowing he would most likey need them he went out and gathered a bunch of skinks.  (not skunks) 

He then slips all 199 under the edge of the door and then puts a towel along the bottom to keep them from coming out. 

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[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The skinks burst into the Frumpy Fairy Godmother's bedroom, run around in circles, swarm over the furniture, create general havoc, then stream out her open window to freedom. The Frumpy Fairy Godmother gives a small snorting snore in her sleep then rolls over.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico is out in the yard and walks by just below the FFg's window and sees the pile of 199 skinks with broken necks layin' there.   all he can do is utter, "Leapin' Lizards!"

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Delmonico miscounts the skinks, there's only 198 of them laying there. The 199th one somehow, perhaps magically, appears in the coffee cup in his hand.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico looks at the skink that has been scalded in the hot coffee, he tosses it in the pile and rinses the cup and refills it.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother makes her way downstairs and pours a cup of coffee. Smiling as she adds fresh milk to the brew,

"I feel refreshed this morning, as though 796 tiny hands gave me a message while I slept."

[Delmonico]

Delmonico pours himself another cup and laughs to himself*  as he tries to remember how Grandma made her currant rolls she always made on Easter.


*skink #78 only had three legs.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

* Skink # 124's parents were #16 and #20, brother and sister who grew up around Trinity's still. Skink # 124 had five legs. 

[Delmonico]

Delmonico goes out and digs through the pile of dead skinks and finds #124.   He takes it inside washes it in the sink and puts it in a jar and covers it with some of Trinity's home brew and screws on the lid.      He then places the jar on the mantle of the fireplace and puts a sign down on the public road.

                                   See the 5 legged skink $1

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Duke, as well as being a smart dog, is a curious dog. He sees the object on top of the mantle and puts his front paws on the mantle to have a sniff. It smells like his good buddy Trinity!! He wags his tail, but nothing happens. He gives a bark, but nothing happens. So, he nudges it with his nose. Ooops!!
Down the jar goes, smashing in a million pieces. Must not be Trinity after all, but it still smells like him. Look, water! Duke laps that up quickly, and sniffs around some more, staggering a little.  Oh LOOK!! A TREAT!!

Old #124 is chomped up, but Duke has had enough of Trinity's brew and falls over, passed out, the tail of the munched skink sticking out of his mouth.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico comes in see's Duke and realizes his "Cash Cow" is gone.   He also decides that Trinity is a bad influence on dogs.   

Delmonico gets his currant buns done, they taste about like Grandma's but Grandma's were never that large.

[Trinity]

Trinity returns to the house after hiding out over night at still location number seven.  He removes his boot and tiptoes up the steps up to the porch and across to the front door.  Inside he continues to tiptoe through the livingroom where he finds duke passed out in front of the fire place.  Bending to pet his buddy, he sees the swept up glass container and judges the size.  Trinity is very knowledgable about these states and estimates that Duke will sleep another two hours, twelve minutes and thirty two seconds (this, of course, is based on fullness of the jar and the fact that Trinity was unaware of the inbred skink). 

Tiptoeing on to the kitchen, Trinity peeks in and sees the FFG sipping coffee.  He sniffs the air and notices the lack of "Ode du Pink Cake" and notices the look of contentment on her face and breathes out silently "Whew!"

He dons his boot and enters the kitchen with a smile: "Howdy Miss FFg, How are you doin' today?  Didja sleep wail last naht?  How did duke git into the recipe??"

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother rises to kiss Trinity on his cheek. "I had a very good day, thank you! It seems that Delmonico pickled a lizard in a jar and Duke ate it. I don't think it was poisonous, I saw Duke's feet twitching a little while ago. Speaking of which..." She takes a pointed look to Trinity's feet. "I think you should get a new pair of boots in the next few days, don't you? You'll be walking lopsided before long with just one boot."

[Trinity]

"Ah done been walkin' lahk this sin' Faibyu-airy 19th.  Ah done lost it when Ah visited that waggon-o-girls!  'Member, that was when y'all lef' me!?

Hmpf!  Don't matter now, Ah done ordert me a new set from that there Muntgummery Ward catalog company.  It was funny.  Ah was jest 'bout ta fill in tha hole when Ah saw them boots on the page.  Ah jerked the page out an' scraped the mess off an' gave the page to the passing pony 'spress rider.

Thanks fer the con-scern, though, miss FFG. "

[Delmonico]

Delmonico comes in after eatin' supper at his Folks's.  There is a smile cause there we deviled eggs, but noone makes real deviled eggs so he took some of his new batch of pepper sauce to eat on them.  It looks like dark red applesauce and is firy, flaming, hellfire hot but flavorful.  

He grabs the passed out dog by the tail and slides him in the corner where no one will trip on him in the night.  He also takes the broken glass outside and buries it.  the pickled 5 legged lizard comes back to life and runs out of the house, trips on the step and hides in the Lilac bush.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother stands there a moment, baffled. How did her concern for Trinity's feet somehow get twisted into yet another conversation about poop? And she didn't remember leaving him, he ran off after a bath. She rubs her temple with her index finger.

"I'mmmmmm... Uh... I'm glad you are getting new boots."

[Trinity]

"Yeah, but when Ah come back weren't nobody here.   "

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

"Trinity, I think you need to change your recipe a little. It is making you maudalin." The Frumpy Fairy Godmother wipes one of his tears away with her thumb, leaving a clean streak on his face in the process, then hugs him.