Ladies and Gentlemen of the Brigade.
As Chief of Staff GAF I have been amazed, astounded, and honored by a deluge of requests to form a Volunteer unit of Heavy Cavalry for service in the Crimean theater. I honor all of you who wish once more to respond to the sound of the guns. It is truly a pleasure to be surrounded by such who hear the call of Duty.
HOWSUMEVER! Exploratory discussions with the current War Department Bureau of Personnel has revealed that the definition of "Heavy Cavalry" does not include Fat Old Men on Horses. Therefore such requests are reluctantly denied.
HOWSUMEVER! Discussions with the Navy Department Bureau of Personel (Bupers) and Bureau of Ships (BuShips) on the possibility of reactivating the USS Missouri (BB-63) for a bombardment mission against Sevastapol are ongoing. Should this be approved you will all be contacted.
Carry on!