Cas City Forum Hall & CAS-L
GENERAL TOPICS => Tall Tales => Topic started by: Cherokee Jem on April 09, 2005, 08:59:32 AM
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Hey guys? anyone interested in going to town? We could all go get in trouble!!!
Jem
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:o And trouble is just what it'd be, too! Me goin' to town with a 19 year old pup who's feelin' his oats; to use a modern phrase: Omigod!
Howdy, Jem, pleasure to make your aquaintance. I gots a good friend called Jem, but she's not 19, anymore, and has not had much to do with CAS for a long time.
See you are into "tracking". Hah; I like that line in your signature. There are a lot of railfans around these parts. Pitch out a comment, and you'll get a bunch of replies.
I hope some of these folks will take a sashay at your story; there are a lot of very imaginative and creative people here.
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"Ol' Trinity's always ready to go to town an' have some fun! Ah'll buy the first drink!" ;D ;D
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Delmonico comes into the tread and says, "Trinity, you know what happened the last time ya went ta town with one a them young fellars. Just be careful that this one don't get lynched." ;D
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:o :o :o "Lynched?? Ya think that would happen to me? Alls Ah wanna do is get me a lil drink!"
Trinity runs out of this thread and returns a few minutes later with a side arm for safety.
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"I ain't worried about you Trinity, you seem to be able to lie your way out of things, but don't get that kid hung!!!!!!!!!!! :o
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::) "Who, me Lie?? But Del, The kid said 'maybe we could get in trouble', not me. That's tellin me he's got plans to do it all himself!!! ;D ;D ;D
C'mon pards! Drinkin' time's a waistin'!!!"
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Ok as long as he gets hung on his own, for what he did it's ok. ;D
Oh becareful when ya come home, the FFg is surley tonight. ::)
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"Ah was only at the ranch fer a minute an' din't see the FFG. What did you do to make her so upset?" ;D ;D
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19?
Nah, I'll pass.
At my age I ain't even got the energy to watch a 19 year old unless they're sleepin' or sittin' real still.
You kids go ahead on an' have fun.
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Ahhhh, come on Trinity, I aint gonna get us lynched!! You buying the drinks? I think Ill go get me a cigar off of the bar. Care to join the poker game??
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"Ah done drunk most of mah corn, so we's gotta do someshin. ... Wait! Drankssh?! I said Drank! Ah'll buy one Drank! *HIC*
Don' take that seegar *hic*. You don' know wher's its been. *hic*
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Uggg, that lowsy rot-gut would choke my horse... You ok bud?
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"Ah'll have zhyou know. *HIC* Ah make mah own shhtuff! *HIC*" With that Trinity's head falls on the Table.
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Shortly after that delmonico and the Town Marshall walk into the saloon. Delmonico points to two passed out figures in the corner and the Marshall grabs them by the shirt collars and drags them off to jail. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Trinity for contributing to the delick-weeency of a miner or rathe minor or maybe both. The kid is busted fer under-age drinkin'. ;D ;D :o :o ::) ::)
They both are lodged in the jail for the night. ;D ;D No hangin' is planned though. ;D
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Upon completing his jail time, and angry Jem sits at a nearby Livery stable, cleaning his Colt and an old Sharps... 'Ill prove it to them I can drink in the Saloon, If I capture the bank robbers, they will respect a kid!!!
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Trinity wakes up on the hard stone floor of the prison. Every bone and muscle in his body aches. "Shurf!! SHURF!!" The Marshall enters the jail area with his keys and begins to unlock the cell. "How'd Ah git in here?? ...as if Ah gotta ask!"
"First, Trinity, I am not a Sheriff. I am a Town Marshall. But to answer you question, Delmonico came and got me last night. You were already passed out at the saloon."
Trinity silently nods his head. "Uh huh! Figgers!!"
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Steps out of the Emporium with a pair of saddle bags and the buffalo gun... 'Hey Trinity, you wanna help me track some baddies?? Might be a reward fer em... Sides, I couldn't track a train... with that said, Jem loads his saddle bags and stuffs the old rifle in the boot.
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The County Sherrif grabs the Kid and lodges him back in the jail fer safe keepin'. ;D
"Delmonico tolt me what yer up to, you stay here till I get the posse rounded up. Don't want ya goin' off in a huff and ruinin' stuff fer us. We hired Delmonico to track for us, he can track as well as cook. If ya want to come along ya can, we need a young fella ta wrangle horses and help with the pack mules." ;D
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Later that day, Trinity stops by the jail and bails JEM out. "Don' fret none 'bout ol' Del. He's somehow just love to sperl folks fun. ;D ;D Ah gots ta hide all my likker from him or he might taint it an then Ah'm in the privy all day long!"
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Thanks Trinity!! You got me out of here, I owe ya one pard! Well, what do we wanna do? Im surely not looking forward to ridin herd on a bunch of lawdogs horses... Saddles his sorrel..
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By the time Trinity gets CJ out of jail the posse has left hours ago. Scared he'll end up in jail again, Trinity gets a couple of bottles from the saloon and they head behind the livery stable to drink, soon they are both passed out. The new kid on a pile of hay, Trinity on a pile of horse poop. :D :D :D
(Note: Trinity did you tell the new guy I say poop a lot, but it's ok, the moderator in Tall Tales says I can.) ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Ya know Trinity, I think I need to learn to track. and to not drink this darn much! :( Hey, when we sober up, you wanna go shoot?
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*HIC* "Wha??" Slump
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Smacks Trinity with his hat... Wake up!!! I would like to shoot before christmas!!! Goes to fetch horses.... If you hurry and wake up, Ill even buy breakfast!
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Delmonico overhears this conversation and remembers what happened the last time someone went shootin' with Trinity. ;D ;D He decides to find Doc. John, the one that used to be a trapper back in the 30's. ;D ;D when he finds Dr. John the Trapper, he and Trinity are both lyin' on the pile of horse poop, passed out. :o :o :o
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Hey, Del, since Trinity is passed out in a passel of road apples, could I talk you into cooking some breakfast I could buy? Im tired of my bogwater coffee and jerky. You wanna go shoot? you seem sober enough...
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Slim saundering up. "Whatcha gunna shoot?"
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Hey Slim, I was gonna go shoot my Sharps, but Ill shoot anything!! You wanna go? everyone else is either drunk in horse poop or away somewhere...
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I'm game. I'll bring my Rolling Block. ;D
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Rides up on a flashy sorrel gelding... Lets go shootin!!!
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Slim grabs his Roller and gets on his horse. "Lead the way."
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I'm game. I'll bring my Rolling Block. ;D
Did shomeone shay Rolling Rock? *hic*
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Rides up on a flashy sorrel gelding... Lets go shootin!!!
"Ah'm ready! The express rider just dropped off my Dance and Brothers (out of Texas) revolver!
...Anybody got any balls? ??? ??? ??? "
http://www.civilwar.si.edu/weapons_dance.html
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( < Really, really wants to make a comment on that, for several reasons, most of them slightly or more off color, but she hasn't injected herself into this story so, alas and alack, she has to pass on the opportunity. But it's beautiful, Trinity! AnnieLee)
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(Delmonico comes in, logs in after a long day of watchin' Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues and other such stuff. But his niece's day care kids were glad to see him and she does have to have 2 adults when she has that many kids.)
Tinity, yer gonna shoot yer other toes off with that. And watch fer the brown stage-coach headin' yer way, he left about 3 yesterday. ;)
And watch out fer Slim kid, he eats margerine and Velveeta cheese. ;D ;D
If ya get back alive I'll get supper ready tommorow night. ;D
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Trinity becomes excited hearing about the brown stage-coach. "Ah wonder if'n ah kin 'member ta take them papers outa them boots when they arrive... Hmmm. If'n tha boots don' work, mebbe Ah kin just in-tentionally shoot some toes off ta make more room. Hmmm."
When Trinity is done thinking aloud to himself, he says to Del: "Say Del, Ol' Slim might just have a food pard now. You know them kids only like to eat that man-made stuff like bargerine an' velveteen cheese." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
<<Miss Annie... I left it wide open just for you. Oh well...>>
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Ok pards, lets get to shootin..... Jem lights outs headed for the flats outside of town, giving a rebel yell as he goes...
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"Yeeeeeeeee *HIC* Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *HIC* Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haaw! *HIC* :P
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Slim don't know how ta do a Rebel yell since he is a Yankee. Therefore, he just says, "Gitty-up." ;D
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"Dern, Slim! Loooks lahk we need ta learn ya somethin'!" ::) ;D
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Upon reaching the flatlands, our gang stops to have a rest and make coffee. Jem chews a piece of jerky as he waits for the coffee to boil... "Hey guys, yall see them buzzards up on the hill side?" Should we take a look?"
Jem
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"Probably. It might be some politician that needs burying." ;D
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Delmonico comes ridin' up on his mule to see if them 3 has shot themselves in the foot yet or they other guy in the arse. ::) ::) ::)
Dern it Slim, don't ya know nuthin' buzzards don't eat poly-teat-ions, pro-fess-in-al court-ass-ee.
Sides that what ever it is will be yucky and smell bad, you go check on yer kids in wissy-con-sion and let the kid go up and check.
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Excuse me just happened by, musta missed the liquor.....Smelled the cofffeee cooking hope I could spell ole Dos and get a drink of that Arbuckles....Del you don't need to Hold the Hoglegg on me I will drink it on my own. Slim buzzard do a fine job on the remains of Polyticians no need to bury them
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"I'll put this hog-leg away when I'm sure ya ain't gonna put no foo foo flavors in yer coffee, last fella that did I let Trinity tie him up and drag hin through the cactus a while, well Trinity got ta drinkin' and drug hig to far. He done wore 8 feet of ma good rope. :o ::)
And I dispute the fact buzzareds eat poly-teat-ions, only dung beetles do that. ;D
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"Ya know... Ah thank Ah 'member that feller! Ah shore don' lahk nothin' but coffee flavored coffee. That's how it was made and that's how it should taste!" ;D
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Jem gets up, throws the drags of the coffee over his shoulder, and gets on his horse. He soon lights out to check what is causing the buzzards to circle. He checks his colt, leaves the trail thong loose, and rides up the mountain...
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In the meantime, from camp Trinity beads in on one of the buzzards with his rifle and squeezes the trigger. It drops from the sky... right onto Jem. 8) 8)
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Not to worry about the Foo Foo flavoring, is it alll right if I remove this floating horse hoe from the pot?....Trinty you need to sight that rifle in better you dern near hit Jem in the arse...Besiders them Virginia Eagles r tenderizing that carcass for the dung beatles
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Curses down at Trinity, and removes the feathers from his cap. Damn it... "YOU SHOOT AT ME ANY MORE, AND ILL SPIKE YOUR WHISKEY WITH GUN OIL!!!!" Fires his Sharps, obliterating the coffee pot and covering his camp mates with coffee dregs...
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"Ah weren't shootin' at him! Ah were shootin' at what Ah shot!" >:( >:(
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Realizin' the youngster is still learnin' Delmonico ropes him and ties him up. ;D An older fella would be buried to his neck and then 'lasses would be poured on his head, to feed the ants. :o Instead Delmonico gets a funnel and a pint of castor oil. ;D ;D
When the cramps and the noises end, Delmonico turns him loose with a warnin' about messin' with a cook and the cookin'. ;D
The poop smell is so bad it even gags Trinity. :P
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Trinity watches with fond recollection. Not that he remembers fondly, but he is happy it is no longer him that Delmonico is picking on with that danged castor oil of his!!! ;D ;D ;D With that he tilts his hed back and takes a deep swallow of corn squeezin's.
Del... That tintype Ah promised will be on its way soon...
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After washing his clothing and self in a creek, Jem saddles the big sorrel, and heads out hunting. He comes across a badly shot up corpse, obviously killed with a shotgun. Jem rushes back to camp with the news, only to find Trinity drunk, Del sleeping, and no sign of anyone else....
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Trinity awakens and sits up. He shakes the rest of the sleep from his head and looks over at his bedroll still rolled up at the chuckwagon. Smiling to himself he mutters under his breath: "Mah baid's gonna laist longer than them other fellers', heh heh!"
Standing evokes a litany of creaks and cracks from his bones.
No one is in camp, but it seems that Del. has replaced the coffee pot which Trinity puts to immediate use.
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Sorry, fellas had to track Dos down. Forgot to hobble him... Well would of had a second cup of that coffee but, see now the pot sprung a leak. Jem what were the Buzzards peckin' at? (Dos wanders off again the buzzards will have him) Well I've got to get on down to Dry Gulch, I've got a couple of pairs wander off, or Rustled. Either way I've got to track em' down...Thanks for the coffee...(drawing up the saddle cinch and tying saddle bags.. Foot in the... stirup and a cluck...we lope out of sight) Yelling back to the camp...If you don't see me pass by in a couple of days , send out the Marshall>>>ADIOS
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Slim walks into camp from his morning constitutional. ;D "Jem, did ya find what the buzzards are after?" Slim pours himself a cup of coffee.
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yea gents, somebody didn't like that guy...He was shot with a shotgun...I buried him, so lets head out soon.
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Was there anything on him that might help indentify him?
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"Yeah, Jem... anything left on him? Wait a second... Them isn't the duds you was wearin' when you went up yonder! Jem! You done took that feller's clothes!
...
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<<whisper on>> Any cash in the pockets?"
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Delmonico rope Jem again and takes the dead man's money out of his pockets to replace the damaged coffee pot. ;D ;D
When he tries to protest, Delmonico hold up a bottle of castor oil and a funnel and winks. ;)
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"You'd better do as he says!" Trinity advises. Then, he begins to think. People keep talking about the damaged coffee pot... What was it that Delmonico left behind for Trinity to make Coffee in? He looks all over the camp for the pot he was using but cant find it at all. Trinity begins to worry!
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*****Journel entry*************
Heavy rain this evening has forced me to hole up in the timber. The tracks I've been following are washed out and the crik is fast to cross in the dark. There was sign of un shod ponies with the cattle also. Dos has been giving sign also that something is not right. Will keep my scattergun and Winchester next to me tonight.
Can't help but wonder if them Fellas ever sober up
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Delmonico heads to town for a new coffee pot and more castor oil. ;D
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With Demonico an his lousy castor oil and rope gone, Jem packs his gear on his saddle. His Sharps and SAA are clean and ready, along with a new 66 Winchester and SW Schofield that Jem got off the dead man. The pants and jacket were both found on the mans' paint horse, which Jem takes with him. After stopping to snatch a bottle of Trinitys whiskey, and slipping 2 dollars into the drunk mans saddlebag, Jem lights out after the killers of the young man. He rides several miles before stopping to make a dry cold camp in the woods, where he lights his pipe and listens to the creek flow down the hill....
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Back at the previous nights camp, Trinity is looking for his bottle of recipe. "Ah shore hope fer Jem's sake that the kid din't take it with him! Ah done saw Delmonico empty the contents of his castor oil bottle in there last naht!! Gem's in fer a rude awakenin' if'n he did take it ::) "
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Jem spends a night in the rain, and feels the rain poor from his hat...
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Along about midnite Jem is about 7/8 th's snokered and he starts to feel that rumbling cramping feeling. This leaves a problem, come out from under the bush that is stoppin' some of the rain or soil his drawers again. ;D ;D :P :P
Meanwhile back in town the Sherriff shows Delmonico a Telly-grahmn, Delmonico looks at it long and hard and nods his head. ??? ??? ::) ::) ::) :D :D
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Slim walks into the Sheriff's office. "Whatcha got there fellas?"
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Jem cleans up from his night of drinking... Damn, how does Trinity drink that s---??? After caring for his horses, cleaning his weapons, and eating a quick breakfast, Jem sets out trying to track the shod ponies he is seeing...
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"Did Jem jus' say he's datin' a pony?"
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Delmonico and the Sherrif ride out of town. ::)
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Trinity heads out in search of the kid before he commits crimes against nature that he will regret for the rest of his life.
...And before Del and the sheriff can get to him.
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Hey now, I aint datin no damn pony!!! >:( Well, Jem sits on a ledge, and watches Trinity ride up the draw...
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Before Trinity can warn Jem, Delmonico and the Sherrif come up from behind. Delmonico points and the Sherrif gets the drop on the kid. Delmonico puts the handcuffs and leg irons on him. ;D ;D
The sherrif shows him the Wanted poster and the telly-gram that came to warn of his where-abouts. ;D ;D
Delmonico says, "Kid, ya should have stayed out of this county, the Sherrif here goes hard on chicken thieves. The last one tried to "escape" and never made it to town.............................................................Alive."
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Jem goes quietly to jail.... But soon slips a skeleton key from his boot heel, and quietly slides from the cell. After the sheriff leaves for the rounds, Jem clobbers the deputy.. And aquires his guns from the case and his horses from the corral. Jem heads out of town fast out a rear route... He heads for the hills above town...
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Trinity watches the escape from the saloon across the street and shakes his head. "Sooo young and already headed down a lahf of crahm. Ah thought he was a good feller! :( Mebbe he still is. He jus' needs the right pards see him through."
Trinity gets up and staggers across to the Jail to check on the Deputy.
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I've been out here for several days now. The weather has been severe and making tracking fresh sign impossible. However 2 days ago I come across a soddy built in a cut bank with a makeshift corral in the mouth of a coulee and, a small horse pen with 3 riding horses. Seems to be a relay station of some kind. My suspicions were confirmed when 2 riders come in with a small band of Remount horses yesterday... Sneeking in behind them later in the evening when smoke from cook stove got hot, I got a better look at the coulee. Not surprized There was several cow calf pairs and around 25 horses. All the brands had been doctored, these fellas are artist with a Running Iron. My missing pairs were among them
Wish I had known what I was getting into before I left Trinty's and Cherokee Jems and Delmonico's camp. My calves would be worth $15 a head this fall at the Rail head. I don't intend leaving here without them. There is probably paper hangin on these fellas with reward money, I am sure them fellas could use it. Jem is a good rider and those other fellas are some darn good shooters, and I sure would feel better about what I am going to do if they had my back.
I am going thru with my plan, before daybreak help or not. Thinking back, this may have somethin to do with the dead body back at the pards camp...................
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After thinking about his situation, jem surrenders to the sheriff again, decided that chicken stealing is not that bad of a crime.
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(Author's note: True story: My yuppie friend's Grandfather was deported back to Germany about 1935 for being a chicken theif, his wife stayed in America with the children and got a divorce.) ;D
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(Author's note: True story: My yuppie friend's Grandfather was deported back to Germany about 1935 for being a chicken theif, his wife stayed in America with the children and got a divorce.) ;D
Them dang Germans!
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Trinity is still in the Jail house with the Deputy when Jem walks in, head sunken in shame. Trinity, glad to see his change of heart whispers to him "He don' know what happent ta him, git back there in a hurry an no one will know the difference!
...Oh, an' ol' Del an the Shurf cooked up that ol' wanted poster mess ta mess with ya. <<chuckle>> They'll be lettin ya out tamorry.
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Fer the hangin'. ;D Don't want no chicken thief hung in tha jail. :D Ya want his Sharps Trinity, I already have one. ;D ;D
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"Del, yer gonna scare him! He's gonna 'scape an rough up the deputy agin! The deputy ain' to bright as it is, any more bumps on the noggin lahk that an' he's gonne be useless."
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Well we need ta get a new Dep-uty, that one already done let a chicken thief get away once. ;D ;D ;D Could be worse though, he could be a chicken moo-lester. ;D Then he'd have to sit on the Group W bench with Arlo. :D :D :D
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Not even thanksgiving, How did Arlo get here?????????????
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Warped mind. ;D He was in Newbrassky a while back. ;D Are you a bozo on this bus. ;D
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Warped mind. ;D He was in Newbrassky a while back. ;D Are you a bozo on this bus. ;D
I must be ::)
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Don't know much about the feller, but I like many of his songs. Are we talking about Arlo Guthrie??
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After being released, Jem collects his guns from the unintelligent deputy and straps on his colt. He then stuffs the Schofield under his belt, and places his rifles in the saddle scabbards. Any new news on those rustlers?
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"Which ones? Them chicken rustlers you was mistaken fer? Ya kain't go an take the law in yer own hands now, Jem. Ya better be careful!"
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(Authors note to Trinity: Yep, Woodies son.)
Delmonico watches Jem ride out a town and then he remembers, "I wonder what happened to that lil rooster fella?"
Then he wonders out loud "I wonder if that kid knows sign language? Oh well he can't get in too much troble unless he does something to offend them."
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(Author's note: To be honest, I prefer Woody to Arlo, but like I said, I like some of Arlo's songs.)
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Delmonico heads out to find lil rooster, along the way he sees Jem near naked, staked near an ant hill with mooolasses all over his body. :P :P Delmonico shakes his head and heads on lookin' for lil rooster. He knows Trinity will come along and make peach with the indians before the ants eat too much of Jem. :D
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Trinity rides up and finds Jem just as Delmonico did. Not seeing any Indians around, he dismounts his cayuse and unties Jem. Just then an arrow takes Trinity's hat off, nearly taking some if his scalp with it! The two take out of there at full speed with a whole war party hot on their heels. Arrows are flying all over the place. Trinity pulls his rifle from its scabbard and passes it back to Jem. "See what ya can hit!"
Next, Trinity fishes in his pommel bag and pulls out the greatest weapon of all... Alcohol. He throws one back at the indians to see if they feel like trading and he pulls the cork from the other with his teeth, spits it out and takes a deep drink. (For years now, Trinity has been able to drink on the back of any horse at any speed.)
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Suddenly Trinity and Jem are surrounded by Indians who make them throw down their arms. :o
Two have badges that say Indian Police, Trinity and Jem are arrested for distributing intoxicating spirits on a reservation in violation of Federal Laws. ;D ;D ;D As for the ants and the mollasses it was just a ceramony to see if Jem was brave. If he would have passed he would have been adopted into the tribe and would have been wed to the Chiefs daugher. ;)
But now they are both hand cuffed, leg ironed and behind bars in the jail on the agency. Tomorrow a US Deputy Marshall asigned to the Indian Territory will take them to Fort Smith for trial. :o :o
And yes he has a patch over one eye. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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(http://www.shop4photos.net/graphics/256/256590.jpg)
;D
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Thats him, he ain't gonna take no guff of a them two. ;D ;D ;D ;D
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On their way to the jail, Trinity and Rooster start talking about the merits of home made corn squeezins and Trinity produces a bottle from his pommel bag. It's not long before Rooster has unshackled the two wayward heroes and he and Trinity are laughing and drinking up a storm while Jem stands guard with a Pepperbox.
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Jem keeps gaurd, and grooms his sorrel... He talks softly to his horse, and hears a noise from the woods... Hey, Jem whispers, theres someone out there...
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The drunken Marshall Cogburn perks up at Jem's call. He struggles to stand, grabs his bag and goes over to Jem. Trinity is close behind.
Jem points to where he heard the sound and the Marshall digs into his bags and brings forth corn dodgers which he begins to throw at the mysterious noises.
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litl rooster laughs at the site of Trinty imatating Steve Martin and the half naked Jem, and wannders why Slim and Delmonico are humming "I don't want a pickle"....... Will be back in a day or so....Have been working 14 hour days but will ketch up.(I hate work) in 4 part harmony
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As lil rooster rides off, Delmonico hollors, "Head em off at the past." ;D ;D ;D
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"I don't want a pickle"? ??? I like pickles. ;D
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lil rooster, Slim is a bit Naive, some of this or rather most of it goes over his head.
"No matter how much you dislike pickles, it's about the only thing to do with cucumbers." Now if you understand that, I really worry about you. ;D
And with that Delmonico heads back to town cause he don't think there is much hope of catching' the bad guys. ;D
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Trinity scratches his head and wonders who this Steve Martin Character is.
Shrugging it off, he tries to get Marshall Cogburn's attention so that that maybe he'll quit waisting their food by throwing it at stranges noises in the night. ::) ::)
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Jem pauses to ask the Marshal something, and gets his head grazed by a bullet....
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"Oh no! The Marshall has done started shooting his arn at them corn dodgers! So much fer keepin' quot!"
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Delmonico hears the shot and crawls to the ridge to look back with his field glasses, he sees Jems six-gun on the ground and sees him looking ok but holding his head. His six-gun lays on the ground smoking. Delmonico says to himself, "Maybe that will teach him about 5 beans in the wheel, hammer down on an empty." ::) ::)
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damn it! I do only keep 5 in the damn thing... OOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Key word is hammer down on an empty chamber. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Could be worse, could be yer arse. ::)
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"It's that dern pepperbox I done give him!"
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Jems friend Arianna rides in on her flashy Palamino, and after laughing at his idiocy to check the old pepperbox, she sets out cleaning his head wound. Jem smiles and blushes at the treatment of this pretty blue eyed filly...
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Delmonico tells Trinity, "Ride and fetch the Doc, Jem's wound is worse than we thought, he's passed out and now he's hal-loose-in-ate-in', he just tried to kiss my mule and he's callin' him Arianna.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o ::) ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P :P :P :D :D :D ;) ;) ;)
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Trinity has some trouble mounting his horse, but after a while finally succeeds and rides off. Delmonico slaps his hand to his forhead and shakes his head.
Ten minutes later, Trinity comes riding back and this time heads toward the correct direction of the doctor. ::) ::)
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Litl rooster rides back in to camp....His horse Dos is laughing so hard, from the site of this group of missfits, he fell out from under his rider.....(me)
Notes ....Why hasn't Trinty never heard of Steve Martin, the man who made a fortune from wearing an arrow thru his head?
Slim I didn't bring up Arlo
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My friend might be interested in you calling her a mule Del.... Plus, if I knew you weren't just picking on the kid, I might hog tie you and feed you some of Trinitys Whiskey/Castor oil mix. Glad Ari dont read this...
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Delmonico tell lil rooster to ride for the doctor also in case Trinity gets lost. ;D ;D He's still out of his head, he's mumblin' incoherantly. ;D ;D ;D
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Lil Rooster remounts the nearly played out Dos and rides for the DOC, he needs to locate the Marshall also. On the way to town he sees Trinty behind a tree appears to be worshipping... One hour later I ride into town and locate the Doc, after having the livery hitch a buggy the Doc and I ride off. The cattle theives will wait. For now get Doc out to Jem before he bleeds to Death.
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Cherokee Jems' Father, Big Rodger comes riding into camp with a dozen cowhands... He stares at Delmonico with his Russian 44 still in his lap. If I find out anyone shot my son... Ill skin him and turn him into jerky for my dogs!!!
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:o
"I did not shoot 'im."
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"He done shot himself by not being careful." Delmonico thens hands Jem's dad a knife and a jerky line. ;D "What kinda dogs ya got." ::) ::) :D ;)
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Trinity finally returns shouting that the doctor was nowhere to be found! Trinity has an ugly stain down the front of his shirt to which he offers no explanation. Seeing the doctor at Jem's side Trinity breaths a sigh of relief and then points to the large stranger:
"Who's this big stranger with the knife?? Kinda favors Jem."
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It's his dad, he's mad at him for shootin' himself. :o :o He's gonna skin him and cut him up and make jerky out of him for being so dumb. gonna feed the jerky to his dogs when it's dried out. :P :P :P :D Kinda a strange fella if ya asks me. :D
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The doc arrives with litl rooster. He looks suspiciously like Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven. ((And the author swoons... )) He climbs out of the buggy to look at the congregated motley crew.
"Did somebody call for a doctor?"
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<<Author's note: Brad Pitt, BRAD PITT!!!! There she goes again with that heart throb of her's ... always trying to break a guy's....>>
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While Dr Pitt looks Jem over litl rooster notices a flask in the Doc's coat pocket. Reaching in and grabs it and pulls the cork(for medicable purposes, headache, yeah yeah that's the ticket).....Passes it to Delmonico...Fine Tennessee sipping whiskey... Litl' Rooster slips 2 silver coins in the Doc's pocket...Sippin' not guzzling Delmonico! ::)
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<<Author's note: Brad Pitt, BRAD PITT!!!! There she goes again with that heart throb of her's ... always trying to break a guy's....>>
((Yeah, well, I thought he left Jennifer to be with me and was waiting for him to call, but he took up with that Laura Croft skank... ooops, did I say that outloud? Anyway, now I get to abuse him in the story. Bwaa haa haa))
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The Doc gives litl Rooster an odd look.
"That's the first time I heard anyone say castor oil tasted like Tennessee whiskey."
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<<Author's note: Brad Pitt, BRAD PITT!!!! There she goes again with that heart throb of her's ... always trying to break a guy's....>>
((Yeah, well, I thought he left Jennifer to be with me and was waiting for him to call, but he took up with that Laura Croft skank... ooops, did I say that outloud? Anyway, now I get to abuse him in the story. Bwaa haa haa))
LOL
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>:( Why the heck would any educated man put Castor Oil in a flask?....Dr. Pitt ..................question answered
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The Doc smiles. "Because there's many a plugged up man who won't take castor oil, but will take a swig from a flask.... just like you did. I hope you have leaves handy that won't give you a rash."
"By the way, my name's Leonard McCoy, not Pitt."
And with that, he takes back his flask.
-
<<Author's note: Brad Pitt, BRAD PITT!!!! There she goes again with that heart throb of her's ... always trying to break a guy's....>>
((Yeah, well, I thought he left Jennifer to be with me and was waiting for him to call, but he took up with that Laura Croft skank... ooops, did I say that outloud? Anyway, now I get to abuse him in the story. Bwaa haa haa))
I wonder if she is going to replace her last hubbies blood for his in that vial she wears around her neck!?!?!? ???
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Delmonico spits his castor oil out before he swallows it laughin' at Lil rooster. ;D He also wonders why there going to so much trouble to patch up Jem when his dad is gonna skin him and make jerky for the dogs. ;D
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Slim just sits on his horse with a grin on his face (the horse) and shakes his head (Slim). ;D
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Delmonico justs laughs to himself, he remembers when Slim was easy to get in pre-dick-u-ments all the time, in time Jem will be more like Slim, as cautious as a three footed coyote. ;D ;D
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Delmonico justs laughs to himself, he remembers when Slim was easy to get in pre-dick-u-ments all the time, in time Jem will be more like Slim, as cautious as a three footed coyote. ;D ;D
Them were the days. ;D ;D
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Delmonico probably knows alot about coyotes.... Jem rides off beside his father, who knows his son didn't shoot himself. Jem quietly believes Del might have shot him... Arianna talks quietly to Jem, keeping him concious on his ride to the ranch.
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Litl Rooster takes the buggy and Doc what's his name back to town...FFg follows behind on her steed. I notice it is not shod.
Upon returning the Doc to his home I return the buggy and horse to the livery and bring in my horse Pea Eye for the night. I want a early start so to find the Marshall, and to ketch up with who ever is behind the cattle rustling. Leaving the livery I hear the piano player at the Longbranch, playing a melody of Robert Earl Keen songs, I head down the board walks towards the music.
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One moment, the Frumpy Fairy Godmother is taking a bubble bath, the next she is on top of a horse in the middle of nowhere, still clad in her bubbles!! :o :o :o
"How in the world did I get here?"
Fortunately, she never goes anywhere without her wand.
***POOF****
And with a scattering of glittering sawdust, she is back in the bathtub on the Newbrassky thread!
-
Trinity rides up and finds a horse standing in the middle of nowhere with soap bubbles covering its back gnawing on an old tree.
??? ??? ???
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Delmonico stops work on his septic tank in the Newbrassky thread and notices that Jem has wiggled out of the trap and has only lost 1 toe. ;D ;D ;D Thats why Delmonico likes to call in his coyotes, he don't miss as often as a trap. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Suddenly the black helly-copter from the Newbrassky thread swoops down and picks up Jem and his father, leavin' the lady wonderin' what she has got herself into. :o :o :o Jem and his father are last seen over Central Nevady. ;D
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The dreaded Black Helly-copters again
-
Authors Note. If he would have read all the posts, Delmonico has never shot anyone or even threatened to, he has better methods. ;D ;D ;D ;D Slim might be a good suspect though, if it was a shotgun wound. :o :o But he called his Daddy to help, surprised he didn't call his Mommy. ;D ;) Yep, black helly-copters fer him, lets see if'n he can get out of this as good as Slim, least it wasn't the flyin' plates, they're known to probe a fella, ask Slim. :o :o :P :P ::) ::) :'( :'( :-X :-X ;)
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But our Leonard McCoy has his resources.
On seeing the black heliocopters, the Doc reached into his saddle bag, pulling out a small black rectangular box. He lifts the lid and speaks to the box, quietly: "This Delmonico guy is violating the prime directive. Scotty, beam back the kid and his dad."
The beam of light penetrates the black whirly birds, then swoops down through the sky to come to a stop near a tree. The beam sparkles, then disappears, leaving Jem, his dad and their horses in its wake.
-
Delmonico saddles his mule and rides out of this tread and back to Newbrassky and his office. :o :o
-
Litl' Rooster wonders why the Black helli copter comes over and why Dr McCoy-Pitt is here in this town and what's in the box he talks too, what happen to the reall doc? Why is FFg's pony covered in bubbles? Where did Jem and Big Robert go? Things sure get weird around here
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Delmonico looks at lil roosters post from his office in Newbrassky on his computor hooked up to all four strands of the barb wire fence.(Broad Band) He wonders why lil rooster things strange things are so strange in Cas-City's Tall Tales. ::) ::)
I think Jem went to find his mommy. ;D ;D ;D
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Jem steps onto the boardwalk, after looking for Delmonico...Hehe, My father is gonna roll him in some poop soon as he finds em... Jem then rides off to Ari's papas house, to help fix the fence.
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Jem's father stops by the Newbrassky thread and knocks on the ranch house door. Delmonico greets him they shake hands and Delmonico puts on a fresh pot of Arbuckles.
They sit and talk and then Delmonico shows him Jem's pistol with the spent round still under the hammer and the other five chambers loaded. Delmonico gets Jem's dad to calm down and talks him out of using a bullwhip on Jem for being so carless. Delmonico then hands Jem's father a razor strap instead, because Delmonico is a kind person and kinda likes Jem even though he's careless and hangs around with bad company. ;D ;D
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Walking up to the barn Trinity passes Jem's father who nods at him as he passes. As Trinity nears the poop pile he can see something within moving when suddenly out pops Delmonico's head. Trinity rushes to his aid and asks what happened to which Delmonico can offer no response other than perhaps Big Robert must not like Delmonico referring to Jem's friends as bad company. ;D ;D ;D ;D
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He also is surley about findin' out he didn't teach his son to not load all six. But don't worry, I got very even with him, he's been in the outhouse for 3 hours and the noises coming out are terrible. And i hid the Sears wishbook. ::) ::) :o :o :o :P :P :D
You'd think he'd a read enough to know I'd put castor oil in his coffee. ;D ;D ;D
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After cleanin' up Delmonico see's a bunch a folks standin' round the outhouse lookin' through the open door. On the seat is a shirt and hat, on the floor is a pair of boots and a pair of pants. ;D
Delmonico realize's he has finnally done it, he overdosed someone on castor oil. ;D ;D ;D
The Sherrif's pats Delmonico on the shoulder and say's, "it wern't your fault, we found his Colt hangin' on the nail inside in it's holster. Yep, six beans in the wheel. You didn't kill him, he was just so full of poop, well you know, we'll give his clothes to some poor person." ;D
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Now with the demise of Big Robert, what will happen to the pack of dogs....and how will the Sherriff and Delmonico tell this to Jem and is his Colt and rig for sale???????? ( I want first dibs on it) All these questions. Plus why is there some guy with a Fish Slicker sneakin' around in Nebrassky? Will Litl' Rooster ever drag in the cattle and horse theives for A PROPER HANGIN?
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Jem, Big Robert died of an overdose of castor oil. How much will you offer for the Colt? It's a 32 Colt. ;D
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Oh I forgot I called the Mayor of Dodge City, Dog Kelly, he's coming' for the dogs on the next train.
Don't worry the guys in Newbrassky are just after Slim. ;D
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If it's a .32 I suspect a cartiage convervion job, what condition are the grips? AH! heck $12.50, stick it on the neck pony, rider I 'll give you my visa number....
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Naw, it's a original model P, don't know why but they made a few hundred in 32 Colt CF. The grips are ivory, not bad shape, but they gots a smiley face where most have an iggle or steer head, but that could be filed off. I'll take 22.50.
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At that very moment, Big Robert enters the bunk house wearing only a towel and wet hair. Seeing the crowd, he asks sternly: "Just what are you men doin' with my gun and where is my shirt???" >:(
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Trinity awakens and finds out it was just a dream, big robert is not back from the dead 'cause the newspaper headline he's covered himself with says, "Local Man Poops Himself to Death". ;D
-
$14.75 and you pay the pony rider freight
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Delmonico wakes up from a big beating from Jems Father, and realizes it was all a dream...by the way, 32. is bull, that is a 44 russian SW. and there aint nada on the grips. 32. aint big enough for a derringer! Jem smiles at Dels obvious distaste for getting his tail beat, and Jem ponders why his father didn't shoot him. Jem goes hunting little rooster and trinity to see if they would like to buy a horse...
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Jem wakes up to find he's dreamin' again and he's tied to the back of Delmonico's mule. ;D ;D Delmonico is takin' him to Yankee Hill south of Lincoln to the Nebrassky Insane Assylum as oreded by Dr. Mc Coy, since hes been havin' bad dreams after wingin' himself in the head. ;D
Jem should have checked cause Delmonico ain't never rode a horse in any Tall Tales thread, it's always a mule. ;D
$19.98 and I'll pay the freight but it'll come by Brown Stage Coach if I have to pay. ;D The Overnight "Pony" Express is to expensive. The mice you need to shoot can wait a few extra days. ;D ;D
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When Delmonico gets Jem to the Insane Assylum at Yankee Hill Newbrassky they decide he is sufferin' from lead poisin' and not from his head wound. ;D ;D
When Delmonico gets back to town he finds Trinity, "Hey pard, run over to the Newbrassky thread and replace the solder on yer stills with lead free type, Ya done poisoned Jem. ;D
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Jem wakes up to find he's dreamin' again and he's tied to the back of Delmonico's mule. ;D ;D Delmonico is takin' him to Yankee Hill south of Lincoln to the Nebrassky Insane Assylum as oreded by Dr. Mc Coy, since hes been havin' bad dreams after wingin' himself in the head. ;D
Jem should have checked cause Delmonico ain't never rode a horse in any Tall Tales thread, it's always a mule. ;D
$19.98 and I'll pay the freight but it'll come by Brown Stage Coach if I have to pay. ;D The Overnight "Pony" Express is to expensive. The mice you need to shoot can wait a few extra days. ;D ;D
$19.98 you drive a hard bargin, but stick it on the stage
-
Works for me, there's a couple a dozen rounds in the belt loops. ;D
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Delmonico wakes up from a big beating from Jems Father, and realizes it was all a dream...by the way, 32. is bull, that is a 44 russian SW. and there aint nada on the grips. 32. aint big enough for a derringer! Jem smiles at Dels obvious distaste for getting his tail beat, and Jem ponders why his father didn't shoot him. Jem goes hunting little rooster and trinity to see if they would like to buy a horse...
Jem I am in the cattle business but if the horse is in good flesh and sound I might be interested.
Works for me, there's a couple a dozen rounds in the belt loops. ;D
OKay we gove deals cooking now Delmonico
-
Authors Note: we'll have to wait till he's out of the Insane assylum afore he can sell the horse. ;D Me thinks he'll figger somthin' out. Bet he's easier to pick on than Slim ever was. ;D Slim always circled the bait a time or two. ;D
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Authors Note: we'll have to wait till he's out of the Insane assylum afore he can sell the horse. ;D Me thinks he'll figger somthin' out. Bet he's easier to pick on than Slim ever was. ;D Slim always circled the bait a time or two. ;D
Heck we don't even have to set 2 traps around the buried skunk with him
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lil rooster, 'member when we were young and green and all the ol' farts picked on us, "Well I was a doing that afore yer mom would quit slappin' yer dad fer tryin' ta put his arm round her at the drive in movie" and stuff worse'n that. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Delmonico you remember the old timers that use start one of their tales with back in ott n 4 ott, ott n 3? You realize we are now them old farts. I not only have a lot miles I have the years to go with it.
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oooppps forgot>>>> daylights burning I got Rustlers to drag in to town. Going over to Naked Mountain set my target up and do some target practice.
Author's note it's really called that it's just East of the Blue Mtns
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oooppps forgot>>>> daylights burning I got Rustlers to drag in to town. Going over to Naked Mountain set my target up and do some target practice.
Author's note it's really called that it's just East of the Blue Mtns
(Yep, and there's a winery/vineyard with that name. :D AnnieLee)
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It all came roarin' in and slapped me in the face one time about 5 years ago, I opened the door to the upstairs and hollored, "You kids turn that durned stery-oo down it's to loud and that ain't even music it's a bunch of durned noise." :o As I closed the door I realized what I had done did.
My favorite one is, "Heck I gots kids older'n you." or even better "My car is older'n you,," Cause it is older than about half the kids at the store, heck it's older than Jem. Hey where'd he go anyway, oh, most likey Prom this weekend. ;D
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heck my grandaughter is closer to Jem's age than my daughter is
oooppps forgot>>>> daylights burning I got Rustlers to drag in to town. Going over to Naked Mountain set my target up and do some target practice.
Author's note it's really called that it's just East of the Blue Mtns
(Yep, and there's a winery/vineyard with that name. :D AnnieLee)
Annie I am about 4 miles from the winery, and sittin' just below O'Brien winery <he sez it's French, sounds Irish to me , Think we have a bottle in the cupbard, along with some good wine.
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lil rooster, 'member when we were young and green and all the ol' farts picked on us, "Well I was a doing that afore yer mom would quit slappin' yer dad fer tryin' ta put his arm round her at the drive in movie" and stuff worse'n that. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Del, if you want us to start believing you are that old, then you need to change your age in your profile! ;D ;D ;D
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Jem's only 19, 48 looks old to him, sides that I feel old sometimes, er most of the time. I hope he gets back from the prom soon. ;D He should not stay out that late he worries us. :o
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Heck Delmonico 18 19 years olds might not know more than we did at that age but, they got more ways of gettin done.
As long as he's not out this late with my Granddaughter where won't need to be any killin's
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Heck Delmonico. At 31 I already feel like an old geezer. I can't stand listening to those infernal morning radio shows anymore (you know, the ones with the danged laugh tracks!). In fact, I listen mostly to talk radio these days :o and have found that when music is on, I have turned it down to something below 8!!!!!!!!
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Well I wish Jem would get back, ya know he's got a lot of guts to hang round with us, I think he'd be one to ride the river with. I wish I hadn't of put him in the Insane assylum now, but I checked, they don't have electro shock therapy yet or Lobotomiesthese didn't come out till the 1930's, so he should be ok, except strait jackets came out about 1800. Most likely they got him in one in a small dirty barred room.
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"Why don' ya go bust him out? You put him there, you should bust him out! Ah'll hailp ifn' ya need it."
-
Just then, Jem rides back into town on his sorrel, wearing new clothes, and singin... On his hip is a beautiful plated Schofield. He smiles and tips his hat to the townfolks as he rides in. Well Del, they bailed me from Asylum, and I went to the dance over at the school in Westbrook. Arianna looked mighty pretty, and I got a bunch of dance steps in. Oh, and I got me some money fer stoppin a fight, and got me a new suit...What you guys think???? ;D
Jem
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Well he's back lookin' sharp, thanks for the offer Trinity, I figgered he could get out, was just testin' him. Ya know they don't call it the Insane Assylum any more, but the one in Newbrassky is on the original 1/4 section it was given in 1867. My brothe-in-law lives around the section from it, we could have stayed with him while we broke him out. ;D ;D ;D
I got bullets for my Sharps that used to be a part of it. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Crazy ain't it. ;)
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Where'd y'all go? I just got caught up on my readin'. ???
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"Shooowhee, Jem! Welcome back! Whar'd you git all that cash ta spiffy up lahk that??
...Ah'd stay away from the Newbrasskey thread fer awhiles, cuz there's a bounty hunter runnin' 'roun' over there!"
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Welcome back Jem and Slim...I'm hiding out down in Alliance, have business to conduct...if any of you get near the railroad station could you lead my horse down some dirt road. Then throw the garbage thats packed on them over a cliff. I forgot when I got the train with Delmonico.
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The one in Dunning Newbrassky. ;D
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Hehe, thanks guys, had my school formal to go to. And thanks for noticing the clothes. Busting out of the insane asylum took some skill, but Im back!!!!
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"Thanks, lil rooster. I was busy with other business." ::)
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Glug, Glug.
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Jem rides into town, smoking his pipe and talking to his horse. He notices a man in buckskin watching him... A bounty hunter prehaps??
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Delmonico comes up to Jem and puts his hand on his shoulder, "Pard, a bounty hunter ain't gonna dress so obvious, he's gonna blend in and not be noticed. In the 1880's a man in a full buckskin suit like that is most likey gonna be a dude from back east."
"But be nice to him as long as he's nice and don't try to hard to impress you. 'Member, that fella could become President of the United States someday." ::) ::) ::) :D ;)
"Now come with me, we'll see if we can pull a good one on Slim afore he leaves for the weekend." ;D
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OK, whats your plan??
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Here, put this little magnet on the left side of his compass. He'll end up in Canada instead of Wissy-consion on his way home. ;D
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"Ah had me a compass onct but throwed it away.
Ah dropped it in a glass of beer and the arrah never moved sin'. Ah din't figger it out until Ah wen' ta buy grain and ended up in Argentiner! Ah thought it were a long walk, but Ah just knew the compass weren't no lier."
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Slim is most likely in the middle of the Dakotas by now. ;D
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hehehe....poor slim
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"C'mon Jem! Ish Shatturdshay night! Lesh ush do shome drankin!"
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Jem takes a pull from Trinity's corn squeezins...
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"Sshhhlow down, young pard! Leave shome fer me" Trinity takes back his jug and then turns it upside down "Itsh em'ty!!!!"
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Slim comes riding up. "That compass of mine lead me into the Dakota territory instead of Wiscooooooonsin. I never did make it home fer the weekend." :(
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"Ish zhat dern Delmoniker no doubt! Ah'll bet he haid shump'in ta do wif it!" *hic*
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Slim if you would have stood still and opened your coat up in Fargo, the wind should have carried ya home.
Who is the guy in the Buckskinn frontier coat and half of his eye glasses on?
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I dunno who he is, but hes got a mean look... Jem turns his sorrel, and still alittle intoxicated, he follows Trinity to look for more liqour...
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Well when he smiles he sure has big teeth! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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He must be a politician... Dunno who else smiles that big.
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He looks a like someone who'd whip the tar out a ya fer callin' him Four Eyes, even if'n he is holdin' a toy stuffed bear. ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D :D ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :P :P :P :P ;)
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Hahaha, Im not gonna try it.. How is everyone?
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*hic*
(http://www.cascity.com/sws/chat/images/smiley11.gif)
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Jem ahh! Never mind Lad.....(was going to warn him he was a champion Boxer) But let the young whip find out on his own.
author's not; my good friend Col. Cody introduced me the Buckskin clad fella severl years ago. Have you notice Cherokee Jem is pretty easy to set up? ;D
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I thought that Roosevelt feller was in Wyoming these days.
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Naw the Dakota Territoty, but we ain't figgered out yet where this thread is, Jem ain't told us. ;D
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If he doesn't let us know soon, I'm going to annex it as part of Trinityland! ;D ;D ;D
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Suddenly there is a purple apron on a mulberry sapling as Delmoico annexes this thread as a suburb of Delmonico City Newbrassy Territory. ;D ;D ;D
<Authors note, "The kid should have got his own flag." ;D>
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Naw the Dakota Territoty, but we ain't figgered out yet where this thread is, Jem ain't told us. ;D
I knew that. :-[ Maybe my brain is turning to mush. ::)
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Naw the Dakota Territoty, but we ain't figgered out yet where this thread is, Jem ain't told us. ;D
Of course this thread can only be in the Wild West. ;D I'ts kind of a magic place, like Avalon. ::)
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Naw the Dakota Territoty, but we ain't figgered out yet where this thread is, Jem ain't told us. ;D
Of course this thread can only be in the Wild West. ;D I'ts kind of a magic place, like Avalon. ::)
;D ("Long live King Arthur!")
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Teddy is just passing thru on his way to Belle Fouche
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Teddy is just passing thru on his way to Belle Fouche
Is he still carrying that 76 of his? :) If he is Jem should be careful. ::)
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Suddenly there is a purple apron on a mulberry sapling as Delmoico annexes this thread as a suburb of Delmonico City Newbrassy Territory. ;D ;D ;D
<Authors note, "The kid should have got his own flag." ;D>
This thread has already been annexed. You can file the proper paperwork (i.e. greenbacks) and maybe I'll let you have a little chunk. ;D ;D ;D
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Jem rides up to his home, tired and drunk... His father gives him a serious thump for being drunk... Yall can keep the land...
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Teddy is just passing thru on his way to Belle Fouche
Is he still carrying that 76 of his? :) If he is Jem should be careful. ::)
Yes
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Today I filed and recieved all the water rights to the Annex, Stock, irriagating, whiskey and coffee making and even drinking and bathin' water. Not that is an issue till Saturday nite :P
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Sorry litl rooster! The paperwork never arrived. It's already Thursday. Unless you can overnight it to me, you will not have those rights this weekend. NEXT!
;D ;D ;D
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MrTrinty sir,(or is it your honor?) the overnite express rider has been on your front door since Wed. afternoon.
I am well armed also.... ;D ;D ;D
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Well I claim the mineral rights! ;D Sorry Trinity this ain't North Carolina or Texas, out here all three have to be properly filed on. :o
This means lil rooster has shut the creek off and is die-vert-in' it else where and I piled up yer dry, parched dirt and am mining where it used ta be. ::) :D
We gots the law on our side, we'll call out the National Guard to protect us. ;D
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Author's note; it's not first piece of dirt I have filed water rights on. Fixin' on settin up a little retirement account :D
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MrTrinty sir,(or is it your honor?) the overnite express rider has been on your front door since Wed. afternoon.
I am well armed also.... ;D ;D ;D
"You may kawll me suh, suh.
Espress rider... Oh!... Was that that feller what I shot. Ah done thought he was a guvmint spy! No greenbacks, er paperwork received. Sorry, no rights! ... ... Awwwww heck. Ok, you can have that ole stump what's et up with ants. Happy?" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I done went down to the land office and checked the "proper" paper work. :D You have land rights, and I piled it up real nice in the corner. ::)
lil rooster has water rights and he done dee-vert-ed it and sold it off. ;D
And I have mineral rights, and thats why I piled yer land rights up real nice. ;D Read the sign, it says "Delmonico Strip Minin' Company." ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
When I was a child my family would travel
Down to Western Newbrassky where my parents were born
And there's a backwards old town that's often remembered
So many times that my memories are worn.
Chorus:
And daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg County
Down by the Dismal River where Trinity Land lay
Well, I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking
Mister Delmonico's coal train has hauled it away
Well, sometimes we'd travel right down the Dismal River
To the abandoned old homestead down by Recipe Hill
Where the air smelled like snakes and we'd shoot with our pistols
But empty pop bottles was all we would kill.
Repeat Chorus:
Then the Delmonico came with the world's largest shovel
And they tortured the timber and stripped all the land
Well, they dug for their coal till the land was forsaken
Then they wrote it all down as the progress of man.
Repeat Chorus:
When I die let my ashes float down the Dismal River
Let my soul roll on up to the lil rooster dam
I'll be halfway to Heaven with Trinty Land waitin'
Just five miles away from wherever I am.
Repeat Chorus:
<Authors Note: Sorry about yer screen lil rooster, get a case of paper towls.> ;D
-
Upon reviewing Delmonico's papers for the mineral rights, the judge deems them worthless.
"All rights to Trinity to do with as he sees fit and the court will award fifty dollars to the man that brings this <with a sneer> 'Del-mon-i-co' before it!" BANG
Bailiff: "Next, the people of Muhlenberg County vs. The Delmonico Strip Mining Company"
...
-
After reviewin' the local judges papers the Supreme Court declares Trinity's cuzin the judge worthless and disbar's him and fines Trinity for contempt of court. ;D
-
Do you mind if I pull up a chair to watch this? ;D
-
Do you mind if I pull up a chair to watch this? ;D
Go right ahead. That's what I'm gonna do. ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Do you mind if I pull up a chair to watch this? ;D
Go right ahead. That's what I'm gonna do. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Coffee? ;D
-
Do you mind if I pull up a chair to watch this? ;D
Go right ahead. That's what I'm gonna do. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Coffee? ;D
Thank ya, sir. :D
-
Do you mind if I pull up a chair to watch this? ;D
Go right ahead. That's what I'm gonna do. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Coffee? ;D
Thank ya, sir. :D
Yer welcome :D
-
Do you mind if I pull up a chair to watch this? ;D
Go right ahead. That's what I'm gonna do. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Coffee? ;D
Thank ya, sir. :D
Yer welcome :D
A perky, kilt wearing lass with a long ponytail comes into the courtroom carrying a tray. She fills the spectators' cups and gives them fresh danish.
-
lilt rooster enters the cort room and walks directly to the Judges stand, in a sudden he taves the Gavel and wacks the Judge in the head. Turns to the perky Lass and thanks her for the fresh coffee...(LR likes fresh coffee and perky kilt wearing lasse's) Ladys and Gentlemen of Trintyville/land,whatever, I hereby notifiy you your water has been returned to you free of charge....As long as you remain in the thread, I have obtained the water rights, to halt future development of the country, I hate culdy sacks...Thank you hope the judge comes to soon, and thanks for the coffee
-
At first shocked when the Judge gets bonked by the stranger, the perky lass in a kilt blushes when he thanks her, then pulls her kilt to the side a bit as she dips a curtsey.
-
Trinity devours one of the perky lass's danishes and then takes a cup of coffee over to the judge. After reviving him, he explains Delmonico's mental situation. He tells the judge all about Del's affinity for castor oil, vaseline and www.coiloilcomputer.com (http://www.coiloilcomputer.com) He sums up his argument by explaining that he has no cousin.... or any other family member that ever set foot in a school. The idea that one of his cousins could even fill out the neccessary forms to enter law school is a pure flight of fancy on Del's part.
The judge revokes the fine levied on Trinity and orders Delmonico to seek psychiatric help. He then appologizes to Trinity for his inconvenience and winks at the perky lass.
-
At first shocked when the Judge gets bonked by the stranger, the perky lass in a kilt blushes when he thanks her, then pulls her kilt to the side a bit as she dips a curtsey.
Tips his hat to the lass and the citizens of Trintyville(annex) and slips out to his horse and rides off to see the view from litl rooster dam.
authors note, unknowing to Trinty while the Judge was out cold, litl rooster took the Judges hand with a pen and put his X on all request for water, mineral rights, previously filed. It's legal now.
When I die let my ashes float down the Dismal River
Let my soul roll on up to the lil rooster dam
I'll be halfway to Heaven with Trinty Land waitin'
Just five miles away from wherever I am.
Repeat Chorus:
.> ;D
I like this song
-
When the judge catches wind of what the singin' cowboy, litl rooster did, he sends the sheriff and his deputies out after him. When he's brought in, he's brought before the judge who exclaims:
"Son, just how far did you expect to get on your little charade? Everybody in the entire county knows I don't need to make my mark. I can write my own name just as well as the president the college where I obtained my law degree can.
Baliff! Put him in jail for... ohhh... I think two weeks will do well enough to cool him off." <BANG>
"Trinity, all rights are returned yet again to you." <BANG>
-
And the perky lass picks up her kilt and jumps up and down!
:D
AnnieLee
-
And the perky lass picks up her kilt and jumps up and down!
:D
AnnieLee
Whoa! did I wake to the wrong thread(or right one)?
authors note; the <BANGS> of the Judges gavel cannot be heard. When I wacked him the other day I took his Gavel and used it for fuel to cook supper with, Oak burns hot
-
And the perky lass picks up her kilt and jumps up and down!
:D
AnnieLee
Whoa! did I wake to the wrong thread(or right one)?
authors note; the <BANGS> of the Judges gavel cannot be heard. When I wacked him the other day I took his Gavel and used it for fuel to cook supper with, Oak burns hot
(Author's note: The perky lass is a mite excitable. :D ))
-
I like perky lasses jumping up and down ;D
-
I like perky lasses jumping up and down ;D
(There used to be a show on cable called "The Man's Show", I think. They'd have video of perky lasses jumping up and down, in skirts, on trampolines. It was a very popular show. ;) )
-
I like perky lasses jumping up and down ;D
(There used to be a show on cable called "The Man's Show", I think. They'd have video of perky lasses jumping up and down, in skirts, on trampolines. It was a very popular show. ;) )
I don't have cable TV
-
I like perky lasses jumping up and down ;D
(There used to be a show on cable called "The Man's Show", I think. They'd have video of perky lasses jumping up and down, in skirts, on trampolines. It was a very popular show. ;) )
I don't have cable TV
I like perky lasses jumping up and down ;D
(There used to be a show on cable called "The Man's Show", I think. They'd have video of perky lasses jumping up and down, in skirts, on trampolines. It was a very popular show. ;) )
I like perky lasses jumping up and down ;D
And the perky lass picks up her kilt and jumps up and down!
:D
AnnieLee
Whoa! did I wake to the wrong thread(or right one)?
authors note; the <BANGS> of the Judges gavel cannot be heard. When I wacked him the other day I took his Gavel and used it for fuel to cook supper with, Oak burns hot
(Author's note: The perky lass is a mite excitable. :D ))
yep "the Man Show" girls on trampolines
-
The judge, never wanting to be outdone in the number of cases tried by his cousin the famouse <it is in a mocking tone whenever he thinks it> Judge Parker has a spare supply of gavels and therefore was able to hammer down on his verdicts.
((authors note: Yes, thank you Miss Annie!! Having only seen The Man Show once, I could not put a finger on where I got the image in mind for the perky lass, but that is her!!!... ahhhhhh, yes, the perky lass. Let us all have a moment for her!))
-
litl rooster is quiet, has he is handcuffed andd lead out of the court room by Trinty and the Baliff. I pause and smile and nod to the Perky Lass and the othrTownies as I leave. Two weeks is nothing and at least I'll be dry and Fed. (no cable TV in the 1880's)<<<<shucks can't watch the The Man Show ;D
-
After him and his papa raise enough hell to get the town to notice, They soon get Rooster removed from jail. Jem offers him a chance to come stay at the diamond R for a while...
-
Trinity remains behind to flirt with the perky lass. "How y'all doin' ma'am? You shore do look spiffy in that there kilt; mmm, hmm! Y'all been here in town long? What happens if there comes a big wind?"
A stranger interrupts Trinity just as he thinks he is making progress to tell him that Jem and Big Robert arrived and sprung litl rooster and that they could all be found at the Diamond R.
"Pahdon me, ma'am. A've got to check in on some pards right now, but Ah shore hope we will be seein' more of each other soon!" ;)
Trinity steps out the door of the courthouse and onto the street where, he slips in horse poop and falls in a very ungraceful manner.
-
Just as the perky lass is raising her hand to waggle her fingertips in a warm "see you soon" gesture to Trinity, she sees him fall and ends up just standing there, staring at him, her brain not knowing if she should gasp in horror or fall over, laughing.
-
Just as the perky lass is raising her hand to waggle her fingertips in a warm "see you soon" gesture to Trinity, she sees him fall and ends up just standing there, staring at him, her brain not knowing if she should gasp in horror or fall over, laughing.
I recommend the laughing
-
Just as the perky lass is raising her hand to waggle her fingertips in a warm "see you soon" gesture to Trinity, she sees him fall and ends up just standing there, staring at him, her brain not knowing if she should gasp in horror or fall over, laughing.
I recommend the laughing
Ditto!
-
Trinity gets the last laugh... laying on his back staring up at the perky lass in the short kilt as she stands above him, Trinity has a moment.
;D ;D ;D ;D
-
only Trinty could be so lucky.
Excepting Big Roberts and Cherokee Jems offer I ride off to the Diamond R, I need a place to lay low I explain. At least till the Circuit Court Judge from gets done in Lincoln and arrives here. I was able to wire him with my delima before I was incarsarated by that Crowbait judge last week. I filed legal documents for the water rights in this thread and ain't lettin a jug of squezzin's keep it from me. I want them to protect the people here from Carpet Baggers Lawyers and Bankers and other lowlife speculators.
-
The perky lass looks at Trinity and catches on to what he is viewing. She reaches up to remove her tam and proceeds to beat Trinity with it.
-
Where'd all this come from?
Can't leave you folks alone for a second.
-
...Trinity lay in the street bloody and unconscious... but with a smile on his face.
-
Good grief, it's a tam not a steel plated hard hat! Tams are soft and fluffy!
::) :P :D
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
You mean she's under 18? :o I'm outta here.
After 18 sweet and innocent seldom go together on perky lasses. ::)
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
You mean she's under 18? :o I'm outta here.
After 18 sweet and innocent seldom go together on perky lasses. ::)
(( Hold on there, we know you've been chasing after that REALLY young version of me who lives in Portugal. :P ))
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
You mean she's under 18? :o I'm outta here.
After 18 sweet and innocent seldom go together on perky lasses. ::)
(( Hold on there, we know you've been chasing after that REALLY young version of me who lives in Portugal. :P ))
I see, not only I'm mean but I'm also a "Mean Old Man" ;D
Not even as a joke. >:(
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
You mean she's under 18? :o I'm outta here.
After 18 sweet and innocent seldom go together on perky lasses. ::)
(( Hold on there, we know you've been chasing after that REALLY young version of me who lives in Portugal. :P ))
A waitress. ;D
Slim
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
You mean she's under 18? :o I'm outta here.
After 18 sweet and innocent seldom go together on perky lasses. ::)
(( Hold on there, we know you've been chasing after that REALLY young version of me who lives in Portugal. :P ))
A waitress. ;D
Slim
As long as she's over 18 I see no impediment. ;D
-
Hit him with a steel plate hardhat... ;D
;D
((You guys are mean, mean, mean! The perky lass would never do that! :D))
Is that a fact? ;D
And I'll agree with you on this one. I'm mean allright. ;D
((Yep, she is young, sweet, and innocent... in other words, nothing like me! :D))
You mean she's under 18? :o I'm outta here.
After 18 sweet and innocent seldom go together on perky lasses. ::)
(( Hold on there, we know you've been chasing after that REALLY young version of me who lives in Portugal. :P ))
A waitress. ;D
Slim
As long as she's over 18 I see no impediment. ;D
She MUST not be over 18. Only that she is AT LEAST 18! ;D ;D ;D
But then again, we could be in Taiwan... ::)
-
Good grief, it's a tam not a steel plated hard hat! Tams are soft and fluffy!
::) :P :D
Yeah, but don't you store stuff in them? There could be a Leigh Ping in there for all we know! :o ::)
-
Good grief, it's a tam not a steel plated hard hat! Tams are soft and fluffy!
::) :P :D
Yeah, but don't you store stuff in them? There could be a Leigh Ping in there for all we know! :o ::)
((Naw, not the perky, kilted lass. She's a genuine sweetie! ))
-
Good grief, it's a tam not a steel plated hard hat! Tams are soft and fluffy!
::) :P :D
Yeah, but don't you store stuff in them? There could be a Leigh Ping in there for all we know! :o ::)
((Naw, not the perky, kilted lass. She's a genuine sweetie! ))
...and you're not?
-
Good grief, it's a tam not a steel plated hard hat! Tams are soft and fluffy!
::) :P :D
Yeah, but don't you store stuff in them? There could be a Leigh Ping in there for all we know! :o ::)
((Naw, not the perky, kilted lass. She's a genuine sweetie! ))
...and you're not?
(( :o Me?? :-X ))
-
She could still hit him with the steel hard hat or at least with Leigh Ping...Then Trinty would have something to Whine about.
-
She could still hit him with the steel hard hat or at least with Leigh Ping...Then Trinty would have something to Whine about.
;D
-
Just doing a bit of math here, if the Perky Lass is around 18, does she have mother who is half perky?
-
... and does she wear short mini-kilts?
(( :o Me?? :-X ))
((Yes you! ;D :P))
-
((The perky lass is made up! She's fabricated, a product of my imagination!! I have no idea of what her mother looks like, but I can assure you, she doesn't look like me!
<Mumbles> Derned men. ))
-
Annie does have a point. We kind of did exit storyline not long after the perky lass showed up!
So anyway, more about the perky lass and her mother... ;D
-
see how ez our minds wander
-
( Which is why this forum is called "Tall Tales." :D )
-
Jem smiles at his amigos descriptions of a perky lass, wondering why not one of them seems to know whether shes real or not. Well, any way, he shrugs, I got a girl to take to the big dance coming up. Any you fellas got one? Jem cleans his Colt, and sips on coffee that his Dad made. The young buck is saddened by the recent loss of his grandmother, but hopes that some time with friends and a dance can cheer him up. Jem slaps the big colt in his holster and heads out to see to the horses...
-
Jem smiles at his amigos descriptions of a perky lass, wondering why not one of them seems to know whether shes real or not. Well, any way, he shrugs, I got a girl to take to the big dance coming up. Any you fellas got one? Jem cleans his Colt, and sips on coffee that his Dad made. The young buck is saddened by the recent loss of his grandmother, but hopes that some time with friends and a dance can cheer him up. Jem slaps the big colt in his holster and heads out to see to the horses...
This explains your absents from your thread..PARD sorry for your Loss..........lr
-
Trinity listens to Jem talk about his grandmother. "Ah'm real sorry fer yore loss pard, but glad you'll be makin' it to the daince!"
Trinity sits quiet for a moment to have a thought about all grandmothers.
-
((I'd have the perky lass in the kilt hug Jem in consolation, but his girlfriend might knock the stuffing out of her. So here's a hug from me, Jem, I am a crazy middle aged woman, so I am safe! I'm sorry to hear about your loss. From me, AnnieLee. :: hug :: ))
-
Sorry about your loss Jem.
-
Sorry about your loss Jem. If you are going to be gone long again drop one of us a PM and let us know, we worry about you when you are gone.
-
Delmonico gets back and sees the crooked judge gave Trinity the land while Delmonico was away. (Unlike famous people, Delmonico don't get a trial recess for ER trips that last 10 days. ::))
So rather than get upset Delmonico and lil rooster claim the land next to it upstream and start a hog operation. Soon Trinity Land has a odor of hogs that can't be gotten rid of..
(Meanwhile Delmonico was not just layin' around doin' nothin' while he was gone. In his brief case he found his purple flowered apron was there. In a haze of morpjhine he noticed in the closet an IV pole and ties the apron to that on the third day. He then hoists it and annexes the North Annex of the William Jennings Bryan Memorial Hospital as part of Delmonico City. ;D ;D ;D ;D The Silver Tongued Orator from Newbrassky was not there to protest.)
-
<Author's note: I lived east of a hog business fer a couple years. The prevailing winds in the area are from the west. :( Who is the "Silver Tongued Orator from Newbrassky"? ???>
-
<Author's note: I lived east of a hog business fer a couple years. The prevailing winds in the area are from the west. :( Who is the "Silver Tongued Orator from Newbrassky"? ???>
William Jennings Bryan ???
-
Slim, he ran for President in I belive 1894, 1898 and 1900. Lucky for us all he was defeated, he was a good orator (BS'er) and one of the best dirty polytitions of all time. ;D The man could sling more mud the a harbor dredge. ::)
-
William Jennings Bryan (http://www.brainyencyclopedia.com/encyclopedia/w/wi/william_jennings_bryan.html)
Here's one of his quotes: "Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed." ::)
Slim
-
...So rather than get upset Delmonico and lil rooster claim the land next to it upstream and start a hog operation. Soon Trinity Land has a odor of hogs that can't be gotten rid of..
...
It don' matter none. It lends flavor to the recipe! ;D ;D
-
Then one day their is a knock at the door, the Sherriff has the tax accessment for Trinity Land, it totals $127,564.73, seems the tax accessor had a bad hang over from drinkin' too much of Trinity's recipe the day he did the accessment. :o :o
The Sherriff tells him the tax is due in three days and if not paid the county will take it over along with his stills. ;D ;D
-
Delmonico gets back and sees the crooked judge gave Trinity the land while Delmonico was away. (Unlike famous people, Delmonico don't get a trial recess for ER trips that last 10 days. ::))
So rather than get upset Delmonico and lil rooster claim the land next to it upstream and start a hog operation. Soon Trinity Land has a odor of hogs that can't be gotten rid of..
(Meanwhile Delmonico was not just layin' around doin' nothin' while he was gone. In his brief case he found his purple flowered apron was there. In a haze of morpjhine he noticed in the closet an IV pole and ties the apron to that on the third day. He then hoists it and annexes the North Annex of the William Jennings Bryan Memorial Hospital as part of Delmonico City. ;D ;D ;D ;D The Silver Tongued Orator from Newbrassky was not there to protest.)
little rooster smiles ;D ;D as the last of the 2000 hogs are unloaded from the rail cars. Jus t wait till we get the new court hearing Del.. I have paid a professional picture taker to get some of the crooked judge and Trinty, going int the back door of the Longbranch.
-
Well I got me one a them New-Fangled Kodak cameras and I got pictures of them going in the front door. ;D ;D Also got pictures of the judge helpin' Trinity run his still. ;D And the Judge and the chicken pictures will get him tarred and feathered. ::) Least I ain't got none like that on Trinity, he's a nice fella, just hangs around with crooked judges. ;D
Oh don't tell Trinity, but when he wasn't lookin' I peed in his mash. ::)
-
Standing at the still, Trinity tastes the latest batch. "Hmmm. Differ'nt taste, but palatable. The mormons will lahk this batch!. Trinity loads the buckboard with barrels from the new batch filling it half way. The other half he loads with several large crates and bundles.
On his way down to Nevaddy Trinity stops at the Sheriffs office and calls the Sheriff outside. "Ah done brought yer derned money!" The Sheriff undoes one bundle and looks inside.
"A total of 127,564 yankee dollars and 75 cents. Ya kin keep the extry two cent. Oh, and as promised..." Trinity opens another crate, removes a bottle and hands it to the Sheriff. "Ah thank someone peed in mah current batch, so ya don' wan' that one. This one is better. It were aged in a oak barrel fer seven days. En-joy!
-
Oh don't tell Trinity, but when he wasn't lookin' I peed in his mash. ::)
I t gives it a nice coloring.....Dayglow, after effects I suppose from your last real life experiance :o
-
Although the Sherriff likes Trinity's corn liker, the crack about the Yankee dollors does not set well with him today. As a former Captain in an Ohio infantry unit he still is supicious of any former rebs. He decides to check this fella out a little more and find out exactly how he came up with this much cash. ;D
-
<<Author's note while Trinity is away making a delivery to the Mormons>> The war is over and the soldiers got their pay in the end. No one is looking for that money any more!
Oh, and it wasn't a crack, thats just how Trinity always refers to money these days. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Using the photo's from Delmonico's Kodak and the one's I paid Lady Cameron to get. When she passed thru on her way to the Badlands. I had the editor of the Annex News, print some hand bills. I have finished posting them around town and a special Town meeting is set. Disscussion on getting rid of that no good Crooked Judge in on the Agenda....Word has been sent to Cherokee Jem and Big Robert,
-
The Sherriff is still wonderin' how Trinity got so much cash as he locks it up in the county safe. ;D
Going ober to the stove he notices green ink on his hands as he pours a cup of coffee. :o :o He washes his hands and goes to the telly-graph office and sends a telly-gram to the Secret Service in Washington DC. :o ;D
-
When the Secret Service gets there, they search and in the shed with the #3 still they find rag bond paper, green ink a small job press and some engraved steel plates. ;D ;D ::)
Trinity is not found, so an hour later there is his picture hangin' in the Post Office, $500 Reward. :D ;)
-
Another two hours passes and the poster is gone. Down by Still #3 Trinity can be found with the inspectors who each are holding an almost empty jug of recipe and are quite inebriated. Everyone is laughing raucously and having a good time. Fuelling the fire is the last of the inspectors' evidence.
-
Jem rides in from the dance, whistling a tune and trying to keep the happy memories of the occasion. he rides into Still #3, and sees several men heavily intoxicated, laughing and carrying on over a fire that seems to be burning green dye. Jem hollars at Trinity to see iff hes got a good batch of whiskey he can loan off for a spell. He lays a hand carved walking stick by his buddies still, hoping it might help those stoopers that seem to always befall him, then heads out to his horse to see old Delmonico... Hehe, Ive got some info he could use....Also, he makes an effort to see all the friends that stood by him when he was down. Jem smiles at his friends kindness, then hits the saddle of his new buckskin and lopes out across the grass, enjoying the air and grass and the freedom...
Jem
-
The Townies arrive at the meeting hall with anger in their eyes. A load of tar waits outside for the crooked Judge and his self appointed Baliff...The Annex's newly elected Mayor calls the meeting to order.
-
Jem rushes to tell Trinity about the despute in town, but cant locate the man... Jem rides hard to get back to town for hell breaks open...
-
Hearing Jem calling his name, Trinity stumbles out of the brush hiding still site #5 and stands for a moment, swaying. "Ah done thought Ah hert mah name!"
Stops and sniffs air... "Strong smail tonight, gonna be a good brew!"
-
Suddenly Trinity sees what he thinks is a ghost runnin' down the street in the dusk. :o :o He realizes it is just the crooked judge covered with feathers, but not before he poops his pants so bad it comes out of the top of his boots. :P :P ::) ;)
-
((Yep, Del's back and the poop rains and reigns! :D A.L. )
-
Yay, that stinks.... ;)
CJ
-
A lot of stuff in Tall Tales stinks! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
;D
A lot of stuff in Tall Tales stinks! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Delmonico gets his mineral rights restored and litl rooster gets his water rights, long before Trinty gets sober enuff to stagger out of his boots and get to town
-
After reading the last post, Trinity sits down to write a decree which he then passes to one of his minions to put into action.
From this day forward, litl rooster may have his water rights, but must live in the water. Delmonico may have his mineral rights...
...but must live under the earth.
Pleased with himself, Trinity lifts his jug to his lips and tilts his head back.
-
Sitting in the Dismal watching the Barrell of Delmonico's Buffalo gun, raise from beneathe the dirt and take site on the now raised bottle of hoooch. I smile and continue bathing :P :P :P Knowing soon the stills will be going dry and Trinty will be forced to resend his new decree. ;D ;D ;D
-
With a loud crash, Trinity's jug smashes to pieces and the remaining contents soak his shirt as the bullet continues its path and lodges itself in the side of the house. Unshaken, Trinity removes his shirt and wrings as much of the liquid into his mouth as he can.
Knowing his access to the Dismal will no longer be legally available, he packs up his still and supplies and heads for the hills where he finds a nice hinding spot with a natural spring. In an hour, Trinity is already producing his recipe.
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With a loud crash, Trinity's jug smashes to pieces and the remaining contents soak his shirt as the bullet continues its path and lodges itself in the side of the house. Unshaken, Trinity removes his shirt and wrings as much of the liquid into his mouth as he can.
Knowing his access to the Dismal will no longer be legally available, he packs up his still and supplies and heads for the hills where he finds a nice hinding spot with a natural spring. In an hour, Trinity is already producing his recipe.
Laughing to myself when I realized Trinty still thinks he is a head of the game...Delmonico got the mineral rights, spring water is from under the ground ;D ;D ;D ;D :P :P :PHe'll have to deal with Delmonico for that mineral water :D
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Jem tells Trinity about a stream on his land. But he also says in exchange for legal water, he has to provide 1 jug a week for the reynolds homestead.
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No soap, the water would still belong to lil rooster. ;D ;D How ever he might trade some water fer a few jugs, heck fer a small fee I might even provide Trinity with some coal fer his still. ;D
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No soap, the water would still belong to lil rooster. ;D ;D How ever he might trade some water fer a few jugs, heck fer a small fee I might even provide Trinity with some coal fer his still. ;D
This might work.....for medicable pour-poses only ;D
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"Com'on Shents, Ah'll pony up however mush y'all wan. *hic*"
(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/37.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/37.gif)(http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/food/37.gif)
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Jem takes out a flask and pours him a drink...
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;D ;D ;D still laughing at the a-neb-reated Trinty I kick the broken chards of the jug out of the way. There now Trinty I think a jug a year will do.(Being a tea Toadler)Let me unlock the the gate dam and get you back in business. ;D
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Oh, thankee pard! Ah shore do 'ppreciate that! Tea? Ah got me a good recipe fer tea, kin Ah fix you some?
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Jem grins, trying to imagine trinity drinking tea... Can you make mine with no alcohol?
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"Huh???"
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Jem arrives from the ranch, bringing the supplies he needs to go hunting the next morning. He almost hopes some friends will arrive to help and be company while waiting for the game to appear...
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Passing Jem on his way into camp, I notice he is packing lots of hunting supplies. I hope he brought ICE it's awful warm to be hanging meat this time of year. :-\
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"Whacha gonna hunt, pard? Here. I bought ya this to keep ya company!" Trinity hands over a jug to Jem.
"It might 'ffect yer aim, so shoot plenty, mah pappy always used to say."
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On the trail ahead of Trinity and Jem is Delmonico. :o :o :o :o :o Takin' a hint from old "Looney Tunes" cartoons, Delmonico posts a sign that says "Elaphant Season Open." :D With out noticing the misspelling, the two are off on an Elaphant hunt. ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) ::) ;)
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Seen any elefunts trinity? Jem keeps his rifle close at hand.
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Off in the distance, Pearl caught sight of the hunting party through the spyglass.
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Zeb reins up and looks back at his companion.
"Whatcha lookin' at Darlin'?" ??? Zeb asks Pearl.
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:o "Ya mean besides yer butt?" :o
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Zeb looks at Pearl and then says, "Now dang it Pearl, yer surposed ta be lookin' fer SABRE TOOTHED SQUIRRELS! ::) Ya'll find in in tha trees hangin' upside down and hangin' by 'eir tails!" ;)
He sees her looking through the glass and then back to the back of his saddle.
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:o "Ooops! He caught me." :-[ She scans the trees for the ferocious sabre toothed squirrels and soon loses interest in the hunt again. ::)
"Zzzzzeeeeebbbbb! When can we set up camp?" ???
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Zeb looks around and see's it's late afternoon as he pulls his watch out of his vest pocket.
"Whal, I reckon we've dun 'nuff huntin' fer taday!" He says as he gets the gallon jug from the pack animal and a small bag of 'tater chips and 2 Slim Jims from his saddlebags.
Within minutes, he has a small fire built and their bedrolls laid out. "Darlin', supper iz bein' served!" He says as he opens the the 2 Slim Jims and the potate chip bag.
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...
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Pearl smiles. "I finally got me a man that sure knows how to take care of a woman proper!" ;D
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Zeb knows he'd not been lucky at hunting the big Squirrels so he thinks of other things.
"How's 'bout more "Peach Squezzin's" Darlin'? :) It'll take yer mind off of tha "Sabers"! I know how much ya 'ad yer heart set on gittin' one taday but we'll see sum tomorra.........I promise!" ::) Then Zeb watches her take a 4 gulp pull from the jug.
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As the evening passed and the pair dined on a sumptuous meal of Slim Jims and tater chips, washed down with generous swallers of peach squeezins, Pearl could have sweared she saw polar bunnies, grizzly chickens, and a whole flock of rare white tailed, zebra-striped gerbils. But Zeb was so drunk he missed 'em all.
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;) Little did she know, that he wasn't as drunk as she thought. He waited just for the right time, then he sprang it on her.
"Darlin'........how's wood ya like take off..................................................................tha wrapper frum my ceegar?????" :o A big smile formed on her face as she took the big cigar and unwrapped it, put it in her mouth and wallered it around. Then she lit it. Took several big drags, blew out 2 smoke rings.
"Here ya go Babe." She cooed as she handed him the cigar and slid close to him in jest her bloomers!
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Yep, you got it right folks and you read it right here! There was Zeb, drunk on peach squeezins (don't let him fool ya, he was drunk), smokin' a ceegar and wearing nuthin but HER bloomers! ;D
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;D Duz ya wunder what SHES wearin'??????? NUTTIN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okay! That's enough of that. We seemed to have hijacked these fine folk's story and now we've hijacked our own.
Meanwhile back on the trail....
"Zeb! Ssshhhh! Stop yer singin' 'n listen up." Zeb stopped and cupped his hand over his ear. He nodded at Pearl and then in the direction of his rifle. She reached for it and handed it to him.
"Isn't that the call of the rare albino spotted jackalope?" She whispered.
The pair quietly crawled on their hands and knees in the direction of the noise. (they wuz too inebe, enneb.... er DRUNK to walk)
"Zeb! Quit watchin' my butt 'n look o'er yonder. That's it isn't it? Them white on white spots is hard enuff to see when we ain't had a jug o' squeezins."
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Zeb looked, sure enough the Albino Spotted Jackalope came out of the woods into the opening. Zeb grabbed his trusty Winchester and started to take aim. Just then he let out a squawk that could be heard for miles. Both Pearl and Zeb jumped.
"Pearl Darlin', 'at wuz tha matin' call fer 'em Albino Spotted Jackalopes. If'n we wait long 'nuff, we might be ables ta shoot 2 of 'em!" ;) Then Zeb and Pearl hunker down and wait for some females Albino Spotted Jackalopes to appear.
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The pair sat quietly waiting for their quarry to appear. Minutes passed. It seemed like hours. One lone rare albino spotted jackalope frolicked in the clearing but no others appeared. Zeb pulled the flask from his pocket, took a swig and passed it to Pearl. “I’m gittin’ mighty tired of waitin’ fer the varmints, Zeb! Let’s go back to camp ‘n figger out a new strag… stragged… plan.” *hiccup* ;)
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Zeb helped Pearl back to camp. He got her settled in her bedroll and then proceded to plan out tomorras hunt for the death defying dreaded Saber Toothed Squirrels. He looked over both of their rifles as she snored in her drunken sleep.
Still in the darkness, the rare Albino Spotted Jackalope could be heard roaring for his mate. As the screeches for the big 'lope faded off into the darkness, Zeb desided to close one eye for some needed sleep. He knew, tomorra would be another day.
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;D what demented minds ;D
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Huh?....Is this me and trinitys hunting trip?? Welcome to the group newbies! Please put you seat backs and traytables in the upright positions...
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Jem, You's and Trinity's been MIA fer a long time. :o We was begainin' to think you both was KIA. ;D Wow KIA, thated be a cool name fer a little cheap car. ;D
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Jem, You's and Trinity's been MIA fer a long time. :o We was begainin' to think you both was KIA. ;D Wow KIA, thated be a cool name fer a little cheap car. ;D
;D
Zeb and Pearle doesn't realized thet the Goverment eradykated dem Sabretooth squirrels, cept fer 2 that them Friends of Dels(the men in the long white coats) they are studin' in Northern New Mexico.
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They ain't there no more, I made biscuits and gravy out a them. ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Did you save any for the rest of us to sample Del?
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Nope, but I used canned cow and made sourdoughs. ;D
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Huh?....Is this me and trinitys hunting trip?? Welcome to the group newbies! Please put you seat backs and traytables in the upright positions...
Whew! I thought I had accidentally gone onto one of those OTHER websites! It were gettin' a mite strange.
"Peach squeezin's? Heh, heh. Jem, them's small timers. Thats fer chillren an folks what kain' handle their likker. Here, let's give them some of mah recipe an see what happens! Why that Zeb feller is likely ta be wearin' them bloomers on his haid!" ;D ;D ;D
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Bloomers is outside wear, pantaloons is underwear. Some folks just don't know the difference. Back in the 1880's a young fellar learnt that stuff. He read the Sears and Roebuck Cat-a-log. ;D
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Don' matter. Neither one belongs on a mans haid! ;D ;D ;D
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Don' matter. Neither one belongs on a mans haid! ;D ;D ;D
I agree. ;D
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getting scarry here Trinty is making sence ::)
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"Ah do that from tahm ta tahm. It's a sign that the likker's wearin' off!"
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Sure got quiet once huntin' season came in probably a good time to take a nap...Just hope Jem don't go and shot his eye out with his Red Ryder BB gun
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"Naw, ain' no icicles aroun' here! ;D ;D Ol' Jem prolly out courtin' that gal of his, Arianna.
Same 'ffekt, love 'n' icicles... Both'll make ya blind!" ;D ;D ;D
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and add likker to it and it will work too....You know how that dern fool boy is, when he is around Arianna! ;D
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"All's Ah know is Ah'm hongry. Ifn he don't get here soon ta rustle up some grub, Ahm gonna starve... or have ta make somethin' mahsef!!!! Do you wan' me to make somethin'?"
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litl rooster slodes a plate of goodies he rustled from the New Threads(feed bag) over to Trinty. Don't bother pard dem folks over there got plenty to eat.
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"Whew! Ah di'n't think you wanted me ta cook nothin' nohow's! Here is examples some of mah more successful endeavors:" ;D ;D ;D
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Cajun style just the way I like it. :o
?????where do you hang spurs on them boots?????
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"Them's not mah feets. They belong ta mah chinese cook" ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Hop Sing Jr.? ;D
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Gives charcoal cookin' a whole new meanin', don't it. ::)
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"Yeah, Hop Singh VII took over once he noticed that Ah lef' paper in the oven. He tolt me that Ah shouldn'ta done that. Pfffft! Like Ah know!!" ::) ::)
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Gives charcoal cookin' a whole new meanin', don't it. ::)
I thought that was pepper
Pffft like Whaaaaaateverrrrrrrrrrr
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Gives charcoal cookin' a whole new meanin', don't it. ::)
I thought that was pepper
Pffft like Whaaaaaateverrrrrrrrrrr
<<Author's note: Sounds like someone has or has recently had a teenaged child in the house ;D ;D ;D ;D
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litl' rooster throws Capt Hampton a hot roll...and daps a little fresh churned butter on one for himself.. Got to run, I've got cattle to tend to.
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Probly likes his steaks (ugh) well done also. :P
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he eat steak the way Hop Sing make...now you go I have work to do...go go go...
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while the others are away litl rooster enjoys the cooking of Hop Sing, he ahs a bit of a problem in the communications department...Otherwise is a good cook and good company
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... but for some reason the kitty hasn't come up for his food in several days!
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walks crawls or slithers is what you always say
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Yep, an lil Missy were mighty tasty too! MMMMMMMH, MM!
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;Dthis is strange even for us :o
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Naw... ain' nuttin' too strange! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Here kitty kitty kitty...
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The Chinese cook was the only Period Correct thing about the show. ;D
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The house is pretty right also, okay minus the electric lights running water and Stanely windows and doors.If U based what the Cartwrights did as cowboy the west would truely be hurting.
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The Chinese cook was the only Period Correct thing about the show. ;D
Nah! Hoss's cap & ball Remington was PC too.
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Has any one seen or heard from Cherokee Jem, I hope he hasn't shot his dern fool eye out, walking around blind in the woods? or worst done run off to Vegas with his sweetie.
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He hasn't signed in since July 13, Litl Rooster. Maybe he's off on vacation someplace. I hope all is well with him.
AnnieLee
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Sorry ST, they talk about the coming war in the early shows and the so called 1858 Remmy is in reality an 1863 model. ;D Guess that's splitting hairs but. ::)
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Sorry ST, they talk about the coming war in the early shows and the so called 1858 Remmy is in reality an 1863 model. ;D Guess that's splitting hairs but. ::)
Wait a minute. The current replicas are of the 1863 Remington, that's correct. But the Remington Beals Army Revolver is an 1860 model and it's not really that different from the 1861 and 1863 models. Only the loading lever arrangement is really different, in a glance you even won't tell an 1861 from an 1863.
< ST who had completly forgot the series started before the Civil War, but isn't ready to give up just yet ;D >
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So which model did Hoss have. I can't watch the show any more, I found out that they don't own all that land legally. ;D Just a bunch of high profile land theives, rember this is before The Homestead Act, and a Pre-emption would have allowed 3 quarter sections, Little Joe was to young. And of course the house would have had to been at the corners of the property lines. ;D
By the way, I got rumors there is a US Marshall down in Dodge City that has been stepin' out of bounds on his duties. ;D
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Del your right about the quarter sections....However He could have bought others once they proved up (5years) I think. Sometimes brothers cousins and other family members would quarter up next to each other. Now this is Hollywood's west so, not known for accuracy's. I took the tour of the Ponderosa set when I was stationed in Northern Cal.
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Buying a Spanish land grant is also possible but if you remember the seldom played word in the theme song it states they filed a claim. So that would be 1/4 section plus all the lad yer guns and hired hands could control. ;D
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So which model did Hoss have.
Now you got me. ;D I watched it for the first time when I was 6. ;D
Watched it again some 5 years ago when there was a rerun, but didn't tape it. ::)
I think Little Joe had a 1951 Navy Colt at the beginning. That would be PC too.
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In one episode I saw recently, Hoss had a 1875 Remington.
Slim
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In one episode I saw recently, Hoss had a 1875 Remington.
Slim
Eric Cartwright (Hoss) ;D was on the show from 1959 to 1972. Guns got upgraded throughout the series.
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Having lived in the area around VC for a while now, I have always thought the idea of Hoss riding into Virginia City from the Ponderosa, for the Doc, the sheriff or what ever, was one of the most period incorrect things about the show. Today, it takes about an hour in a car to cover the 40 some miles. This is on good roads, and light traffic. Hoss would have had poor roads, little traffic, but a poor horse that had to carry him. I would say the trip would have been at least a day or more. The other part is you go down hill 3000 feet, the have to climb almost 3000 feet, during each trip. Litl rooster probably has a better idea on what strain that would put on a horse, but I sure feel sorry for that horse!!!!
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Now that's interesting. :o
Meaning, I never thought about that before. ;D
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A man the size of Hoss Cartwright on a sound stock horse about 3mph on the given terrain
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A man the size of Hoss Cartwright on a sound stock horse about 3mph on the given terrain
Sounds like an overnit'er to me! ::)
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A man the size of Hoss Cartwright on a sound stock horse about 3mph on the given terrain
Sounds like an overnit'er to me! ::)
and better start back on a fresh horse the next day.
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I ain't the best tack historian, but I know it ain't any where near correct. ;D
Sidees that, why didn't Little Joe get to wear a vest, Ben, Hoss and Adam had them. Did it have anything to do with what happened to Little Joe on a full moon night. ;D Woops that was the movie before Bonanza. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Sidees that, why didn't Little Joe get to wear a vest, Ben, Hoss and Adam had them.
To show off the ex javelin thrower torso? ;D
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I n recent years the Tack has improved in the better westerns but the low budgets...That's a different story. Two of the things I notice first are breast collars (not before 1910) and the type of cinchas (should have been, round iron rings with mohair or horsehair) they used. The better Tack availble these days is great improvement for the horse and the rider. Over the equipment used a 100 years ago. If your making a movie from 1880 and you reserch the weponary then reserch the tack also. Then the bits also are tricky.. there is a trend leaning back to the old Spanish style in the Western Horse, but some you see are just cheap imports. The Selleck movies are a good example of what the tack looked like right down to the long rawhide Reatas.
Now I am ramblin it is a pet peeve ::) However even for the poor historical acturicys You gotta love Roy's and Gene and Hoppy's show/ parade saddles. They are absolutely works of art. Wish theis forum had spell check, ......oh by the way I am not a teeecher , just a cowpoke. ;D