Author Topic: another slice of wry  (Read 153365 times)

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #100 on: August 10, 2009, 09:53:32 am »
Todays-----------------------------------------

A man patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent."

"Oh, Daddy," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving you and Mummy."

"I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed the father, advising her, "why don't you take Mummy with you."

Larryj
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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #101 on: August 11, 2009, 11:44:07 am »
Todays----------------------------------this kid has his priorities straight!

During the Persian Gulf War, Stan was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia.  As he was saying goodbye to his family, his 3 year old son, Christopher, was holding on to his daddy's leg and pleading with him not to leave.

"No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.

The family was beginning to make a scene when Stan's wife, desperate to calm the lad down, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza."

Immediately, Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice, "OK, bye, Daddy."

Larryj

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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #102 on: August 12, 2009, 01:46:55 pm »
Todays--------------------------------------------------

When Duncan and his wife Sonya, were having dinner with her parents, her mother complained about the extra weight she had gained.

Duncan's father-in-law gallantly said, "You should put on a little extra weight as you grow older so that, if you get sick, or something, you have it to fall back on."

Sonya eyed her father's paunch, then surmised, "Apparently, you are expecting to fall forward."

Larryj
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Offline Varmit

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #103 on: August 12, 2009, 10:04:35 pm »
Todays----------------------------------this kid has his priorities straight!

During the Persian Gulf War, Stan was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia.  As he was saying goodbye to his family, his 3 year old son, Christopher, was holding on to his daddy's leg and pleading with him not to leave.

"No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.

The family was beginning to make a scene when Stan's wife, desperate to calm the lad down, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza."

Immediately, Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice, "OK, bye, Daddy."

Larryj

The rules of this forum forbid me from openly expressing how this little "slice" made me feel.  I mean, why don't you just tell a holocaust joke while you're at it.  Truly pathetic.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2009, 10:07:49 pm by BillyakaVarmit »
It is high time we eased the drought suffered by the Tree of Liberty. Let us not stand and suffer the bonds of tyranny, nor ignorance, laziness, cowardice. It is better that we die in our cause then to say that we took counsel among these.

Offline srkruzich

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #104 on: August 12, 2009, 10:11:50 pm »
A trip to and from the South Hills and Mt. Rushmore featured a look from the interstate at a place called "Lost, Wyoming."

Population 4---------yep 4.  The "town" consisted of a bar with a house built on top of it.  So one building with a bar and housing and a group (family?) of 4 living there.  Who goes to the bar?  I don't know.  Local ranchers maybe?  I took a picture from the interstate as there was a gate across the access road.  Picture is not great.  I also took a picture of the sign on the interstate that announces the name of the town and the population. and maybe I will find it somewhere someday.

Larryj

Here ya go larry.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Springs,_Wyoming
Curb your politician.  We have leash laws you know.

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #105 on: August 13, 2009, 12:46:03 am »
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!  Sorry, Billy, these are jokes, only jokes.  Perhaps you should revisit Warph's profile and look at the quote. 

Srkruzich, thanks for the article.  I guess it now has a population of one.  Wonder what happen to the others?

Larryj
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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #106 on: August 13, 2009, 11:03:38 am »
Today's-------------------------------------------------


A client called to report an accident and ask if her insurance rates would go up.  "Our underwriting department determines that," Carol said.  Then Carol asked for her license number.  After a bit, as she was verifying the information, Carol asked, "NMF?  Is that N as in Nancy, M as in Mary, and F as in Frank?"

"Well.........................yes," the woman said, "But could you please tell your underwriters that is also stands for N as in Not, M as in My, and F as in Fault?"

Larryj
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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #107 on: August 14, 2009, 09:34:16 am »
Today's----------------------------------------not sure if I would still want the ice cream


The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked the female clerk, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"

"Van....illa, choc......chocolate, st......strawberry." the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue..

"Do you have bronchitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.

"Nope,"  she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."

TODAY IN HISTORY----President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Social Security Act into law.  (Thank you very much!)

Larryj
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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #108 on: August 15, 2009, 09:34:59 am »
Today's-----------------------------------------

A dog is ambling down Main Street when he spots a sign in an office window:  "Help Wanted.  Must be able to type 70 words a minute.  Must be bilingual.  An equal opportunity employer."

The dog walks in and applies for the job.

"I'm sorry," says the office manager, "I can't hire a dog for this job."

Whereupon the dog points to the line:  "An equal opportunity employer."

So the manager says, "OK, take this letter and type it."

The dog heads off for the word processor and returns a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly typed and formatted.

The manager is impressed but still unmoved.  "I can't hire a dog," he says, "because you have to be bilingual."

The dog looks up at the manager and says, "Meow."

___________________________________

TODAY IN HISTORY-----------In 1969, (yep, that is 40 years ago) the Woodstock Music and Art Fair opened in upstate New York.
Where were you?

Larryj
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pamsback

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #109 on: August 15, 2009, 09:46:17 am »
 ;D :laugh: :laugh: