Author Topic: another slice of wry  (Read 164916 times)

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #130 on: August 18, 2009, 09:14:45 am »
Today's----------------------------------------------------------------


A little old lady is sitting on a park bench.  A man approaches and sits down at the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I used to live here years ago."

"So, if you don't mind me asking," she says, "where were you all of those years?"

"In prison," he says.

"Oh my!" she says, adding, "For what reason were you incarcerated?"

He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife."

"Oh..........: says the woman, "so....................you're single.......?"
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Offline W. Gray

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #131 on: August 18, 2009, 09:27:13 am »
Charles,

Here is a partial repeat of an item I put on the forum over two years ago about the state of Arkansas. You may be aware of the action.

Prior to 1881, citizens of the state southeast from Kansas commonly used two pronunciations for their area: “RKansas” and “Arkansaw.”

Apparently wanting to differentiate their great state from the other great state, the Arkansas legislature passed a resolution in 1881 clarifying the matter.

The legislature recognized the state spelling as “Arkansas” but having the preferred pronunciation of “Arkansaw.”
"If one of the many corrupt...county-seat contests must be taken by way of illustration, the choice of Howard County, Kansas, is ideal." Dr. Everett Dick, The Sod-House Frontier, 1854-1890.
"One of the most expensive county-seat wars in terms of time and money lost...” Dr. Homer E Socolofsky, KSU

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #132 on: August 18, 2009, 10:26:55 am »
I often wondered and never really found out why, but living in Colorado for a few years, I lived next to the "Arkansaw" River and yet when we would travel to Kansas to visit my grandmother, we would pass through "Arkansas City."  I think I asked my mother at the time and I don't remember what she said.  I guess I need to look this up.

Larryj
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Offline W. Gray

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #133 on: August 18, 2009, 10:32:52 am »
Here is my entire post from a couple years ago that may answer your concern.

Kansans are the only people in the nation who pronounce both Arkansas river names as “RKansas.”

Kansans also pronounce the southern border town of Arkansas City as “RKansas City.”

Some state residents say their reason for using that pronunciation is that they do not live in “Kansaw.”

Prior to 1881, citizens of the state southeast from Kansas commonly used two pronunciations for their area: “RKansas” and “Arkansaw.”

Apparently wanting to differentiate their great state from the other great state, the Arkansas legislature passed a resolution in 1881 clarifying the matter.

The legislature recognized the state spelling as “Arkansas” but having the preferred pronunciation of “Arkansaw.”

Give credit to Matt Dilllon and Gunsmoke. Even though his Dodge City was in Hollywood, he used the Kansas pronunciation each time.

The word Kansas is a Siouan word meaning “People of the South Wind.” The similar Siouan word, Arkansas, has meaning “Downstream People.”

I sure hope I do not have anything misspelled.


"If one of the many corrupt...county-seat contests must be taken by way of illustration, the choice of Howard County, Kansas, is ideal." Dr. Everett Dick, The Sod-House Frontier, 1854-1890.
"One of the most expensive county-seat wars in terms of time and money lost...” Dr. Homer E Socolofsky, KSU

flintauqua

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #134 on: August 18, 2009, 02:58:27 pm »
And what makes it worse here in far NW Arkansaw, is that when I tell someone I'm from Kansas they immediately think I'm from the town of Kansas, Oklahoma.  The town, just 12 miles west of the AR/OK border on US412, is also locally referred to as "Little Kansas".

Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #135 on: August 19, 2009, 09:15:47 am »
Today's-------------------------------------------------Hmmm

It was testimony night at the church.  A lady got up and forcefully announced, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand.  I have had a terrible fight with that old devil all week."

Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side, stood up and said, "It's not all my fault by golly, she's tough to get along with!"

______________________________________________

Today in history----------In 1929, the radio comedy program "Amos and Andy" starring Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll made its network debut on NBC-Blue

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Larryj
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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #136 on: August 20, 2009, 10:06:55 am »
Today's-----------------------------------------------Thinking of you, Warph!!!!!


"Larry, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked his wife, Sherry.

"Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when he thought you weren't looking?"  Larry asked.

"Certainly not,"  Sherry admitted adamantly.

"Well, neither will John,"  Larry said.

Larryj (no relation to the above)

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Offline larryJ

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #137 on: August 21, 2009, 09:48:36 am »
Today's-------------------------We have all been here

Elmer called a delivery company about an insurance claim he had filed on a package.  Elmer, as a former employee, knew the automated voice response (AVR) system wouldn't be able to handle this issue, so he immediately said, "customer service."

The AVR performed a little beep-boop-bop computing noise, and them insisted that Elmer first pick from its menu, none of which bore any resemblance to insurance claims.

Elmer tried "track a package."  It recited the status, followed by "May I help you with anything else?"

Elmer said, more insistently, "customer service" at which it complained that that was the most recent shipping information.

Exasperated, Elmer exclaimed, "DAMMIT" and after another little beep-boop-bop computing noise, it swiftly transferred him to customer service.

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Today's birthdays (one of them) Jackie DeShannon turns (gulp) 68-----What the world needs now is love, sweet love.

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Larryj


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Offline sixdogsmom

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #138 on: August 21, 2009, 12:27:15 pm »
(sigh), I only wish it were that easy! I double hate those automated systems.  :P :P
Edie

Offline Varmit

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Re: another slice of wry
« Reply #139 on: August 22, 2009, 08:00:25 am »
Heres one for ya...

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy.'

 One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'
'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'
'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a
tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'
'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss.....and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.'
It is high time we eased the drought suffered by the Tree of Liberty. Let us not stand and suffer the bonds of tyranny, nor ignorance, laziness, cowardice. It is better that we die in our cause then to say that we took counsel among these.


 

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