(IN)Courage

[Judy Harder]

NOT a DIY Diva {finding authenticity as keepers of our homes}
Feb 06, 2012  Melissa Michaels




I recently wrote a little ebook called NOT a DIY Diva: How to Create an Authentically-Inspired Life in a Pinterest World. While the concept of being a DIY Diva may not immediately resonate, or perhaps the online inspiration site called Pinterest is new to you, I think many of us can relate to the inner struggle to find authenticity in our life.

And if we are honest, most of us struggle with the comparison game in one way or another.

This book gently opens up the discussion of what we feel inside about our life and home and the subsequent choices we make with how to spend our limited time and funds each day.

As women and keepers of our homes, we really do desire to live in a place of contentment. But no matter what image we subconsciously project on the outside, sometimes, on the inside, we don't think who we are, what we do and what we have is actually good enough.

We suffer from the disease of perfection. We might spend too much money on things we can't afford, time on things we feel we are expected to master, or on projects or activities that are not really our priority at all. We strive to create a facade that ultimately doesn't lead to contentment or effectiveness in life, because it isn't authentic.

It is about my every day struggle (and maybe yours) to figure out what works for me as the keeper of my home in this try-hard to keep all the plates spinning Photoshop-perfect world.




This book encourages us to find balance and make peace with our inability to be perfect in our imagine obsessed world — where a whole lot of people present themselves as pretty close to perfect every single day. Or at least we assume they must be, because that is what we see. Even their messes look prettier in pictures than ours. It is the message we take to heart. We can't measure up to what others present on the outside any more than we can keep up with our own inner image of perfection.

How do we discover and embrace what is good enough, clean enough, or pretty enough for us?

This book encourages you to create beauty out of the home and life you actually have, not the one you exhaust yourself or your finances striving to attain. It gives you permission and confidence to be YOU, the real creative you. It is a short, quick read but I hope you'll find it inspiring and encouraging! And I hope you'll share your journey to authenticity with me!

Enter to win your own copy of this ebook!


You can enter to win a copy of this ebook this week by simply answering the following question. 5 winners will be chosen from the comments and announced on Friday.

When I read some blogs or see people around me who appear to have it all together, I sometimes feel like

_________________________________.

I would love for you to join me at my blog, The Inspired Room, and The Inspired Room Facebook page, where we try to balance living a beautiful life with striving for contentment and peace right where we are. Find out more about this ebook and buy your own pdf copy at NOT a DIY Diva.

God At 2 O'clock
Feb 06, 2012 12:10 am | Sarah Roberts




It happened again.

I forgot who I serve. All because it was 2 AM.

By the light of day, I trust Him. I spout the verses that assure me of His might and grace. I smile confidently because the things I tell myself about Him aren't just things I tell myself, they're the absolute TRUTH.

But 2 Am is sneaky. It passes by without bothering me for awhile. I sleep soundly, peacefully through it for weeks. And then one random night, my eyes fly open and I feel every muscle in my body tense. My hearing has improved exponentially and my stomach feels like lead. I climb from my sheets and creep down the hall. I peer out my kitchen window on to the empty street, scanning for movement. My fingers slide across each dead bolt and every window lock. I steal into my boys' rooms and watch the rise and fall of their bellies. I whisper faithless prayers for their protection. Then I slip back down in my bed, eyes wide open. I contemplate waking my husband, but what would I tell him? Fear blankets me for hours.

Maybe it's the dark. Perhaps it is the stillness. It could easily be too many hours watching the 10 o'clock news. My overactive imagination surely bears some guilt.

When I wake up the morning after a 2 AM night, guilt greets me like an all-to-eager pup licking my face. How could I be so irrational? So untrusting? I beat myself up as soon as my feet hit the floor and I am defeated before my day even begins.

Satan, for the win.

Unless.

Unless I see it for what it actually is, a reality of my flesh. Sin. Struggle.

I rationalize my fear. I declare I am simply aware, responsible, conscientious, and most of all prepared. I listen to the voice that says the safety of my family is my job. If I am not on my toes, and bad things happen, it's my fault. I give myself a whole lot of power.

It's all a smoke screen. Healthy responsibility doesn't cripple. Reasonable preparation doesn't debilitate. To deal with it, I have to call it what it is, inability to trust, belief that I am more capable than the God of the universe. I name it, sin.

And then the miracle of repentance is unleashed. I am free. Free from 2 AM fear? Not necessarily. Free from sinning again? Definitely not.

Free to release. I can unclench my fists and let fall the pieces of my false responsibility, and my desperation for control. I can exhale the heavy weight of "all by myself" and see truth.

The truth is He's got this. Every minute of every hour of every day of every person in my home are known to Him. And just in case I'm tempted to believe He's out there somewhere just watching them all play out, His Word assures me that He is in my corner.

"... God assured us, ' I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,' we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?"
Hebrews 13:5-6
The Message

As I release my fear, my sin to Him, He is faithful to offer me compassion and a better way. When the guilt that Satan would choose to warp into despair tempts me to look down, and I instead choose to look up, I see the eyes of my Savior whose love already conquered my 2 AM nights.

By Sarah Roberts, at October Always



When You Want to Be Known
Feb 06, 2012 12:10 am | Emily Freeman




Young Truman: I want to be an explorer, like the Great Magellan.
Teacher: [indicating a map of the world] Oh, you're too late! There's nothing left to explore!

- from The Truman Show

I stand in the middle of the red brick road, the sky perfect blue above me, the picket fences perfect white beside me. I walk slow and marvel at the eerily cheerful colored houses, bright but empty. I am Truman Burbank, minus the cameras and the goofy smile. Well, and lots of other things too but you know what I mean. I understand Truman as I stand there, know why he would want to travel the world and explore. Because the thing that makes this place so uncomfortable is also what is supposed to make it great – it's too perfect.I stand in the middle of the busy hallway, children stuck to my side. I want to be real but the line isn't moving and I have to get these children into Sunday school, you know. Sometimes there is only time for fine at church. I am Truman again and I want to explore, be explored, want you to see what goes on behind these eyes. But it's late and I'm tired and maybe there's nothing left worth finding anyway.

I wrote a whole chapter on what it means to hide behind our picket fences, to show the world our prettied up versions, to say we're fine even when we're not because it's safer or maybe we're just lazy. I still struggle with this one, circle around this word authenticity, wrestle with how the meaning changes for me as I get older. I've talked with lots of women about this and there is always the argument that sometimes when people ask how I'm doing, they don't really want to know. And I'd have to agree with that.I hesitate as I write this, though, because isn't this a tired conversation? Haven't we exhausted this concept already? Are there still honestly ways I hide from you and the world and my husband? Is there anything left to explore?

My circle is small and those who really know me are few. But they are there and they are listening and I am thankful. I've grown in my ability to be honest with people I trust. I think it's because of time and grace and being loved anyway enough times. I'm learning that they don't want to see lined up pretty with pastel cheeks, picket fence smiles and covered up secrets. They just want to see me.

Even after all you have read and heard and know about authenticity, is it still hard for you to practice? If yes, what makes it so and what would make it easier?

by Emily Freeman, Chatting at the Sky

[Judy Harder]

The Relevant Conference is Now Allume Social! WOOT!

Feb 07, 2012 12:00  Sarah Mae

Bring on the cupcakes and coffee (and some glitter for good measure), we are celebrating today!

Today is the day that we announce the name change of the popular Christian women's blogging and social media conference, Relevant. Relevant is now Allume Social!

What? Why? Where did that come from?

It all started when someone said to me, "have you asked RELEVANT magazine what they think about you being called Relevant?" Hmmm, um, nope, haven't done that. So I did. I emailed the head man over at RELEVANT and asked him what he thought about the fact that our name was the same as theirs. He was very gracious and just let me know that they had the name trademarked. "Well, that settles it, doesn't it?" We decided to begin the journey of changing the name. And a journey it was. HOURS of research and prayer and council and we finally landed on the name "allume" (say it a few times: ah-loom – just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?).

The word "allume" means "light" in French. We, being writers and creatives, have taken liberties with the word which is why we are pronouncing it "ah-loom". We chose this beautiful word because our vision for all we do is that we let Christ, the Light, come into our souls and bring to light all the dark places, and we in turn reflect that light to the world.

"But wait, " you're thinking, "I thought the conference was called allume social?" Oh yes friend, it is. Allume is the new community, and allume social is the conference that falls under the community. Turns out we had a much bigger vision than for just the conference.

Here's a handy dandy graphic to help explain:

Allume is kind of like a conference all year round. We'll be rolling out all the goodness in the near future, but in the meantime...

Celebrate with us tonight? We are having a Twitter party celebrating the Allume launch at 9pm EST under hashtag #allume. There will prizes, fun, and proverbial cupcakes. You can find out more by clicking here.

Allume.com

Allume.com/social

Like Allume on Facebook here.

Follow us on Twitter @allume.

[Judy Harder]

Homemaking {Finding Beauty and Passion in Being the Keeper of Your Home}
Melissa Michaels

I tried and failed at a lot of homemaking systems over the years. I read books that overwhelmed me with charts and steps and advice that I knew was wise and insightful, but it just didn't work for me long term. I needed to understand my own passion and style of living first so I could develop a simple daily routine that actually made sense for me.

For years and years now, I've used four daily routines to keep my house what I call "clean enough." These routines keep my home in fairly decent order even on the busiest of days. Having simple daily rituals is how I stay motivated and inspired at home! Once I found what systems and home making style worked for me and my season of life, and I made peace with my imperfection, I could enjoy and feel content with the home I had — rather than be overwhelmed or discouraged by it.

My ebook, NOT a DIY Diva is about nurturing a passion for being the creative keeper of your home. This isn't necessarily a "how to keep house" or "how to decorate" book, but rather gentle encouragement I hope will inspire you to seek beauty in having a home (whatever place you currently call home!), no matter what your own limitations or struggles are. I hope it will encourage you to enjoy the process of a creating a comfortable home that is authentic and personal to you and your family!

You can download a sample chapter of NOT a DIY Diva by clicking the NOT a DIY Diva sample page.

If you would like to find out more about this ebook as well as read endorsements, you can go to the website NOT a DIY Diva (you can also purchase your own pdf copy for $3.99, downloaded directly to your computer immediately upon purchase!).

You can also enter to win a copy here!

If you'd like to connect with other women who want to nurture homemaking, creativity and simple decorating skills (on a realistic budget of time and money!), I'd love for you to join me at my blog, The Inspired Room, each week. I share affordable and doable decorating ideas, motivation to keep up your home in simple ways, and encouragement to live the kind of life you want, in spite of our limitations and struggles. You can also find me on Facebook! I'd love to meet you!

What is your biggest struggle or feeling of limitation in creating a home you love? Let's share in the comments!



group of chefs from the Food Network set out to complete what seems like an impossible task: feed 100 people with food that was destined for the garbage.

They expect only to find scraps but as they travel to markets and farms, what they discover is stunning.

Beautiful tomatoes with the slightest imperfections in their skins.

Gorgeous corn blown over by hurricane winds that no one will pick.

Eggs that are not quite the right size or shape.

In the end, they have abundance that turns into a joyful feast.

How can there be so much waste? is the question that lingers in their minds and those of the viewers too. Are we used to rejecting what's good but not perfect?

After I change the channel, the questions still linger.

And I realize that I have done the same in my life.

I fear what I create isn't adequate so I don't offer it.

I think what someone else does is better so I cast aside my strengths.

Maybe you too?

But the reality is that God wants to feed hearts through who we are–just as we are.

Let's dare to put our imperfections in his hands and let them have his way with them, with us.

It just may turn into an abundance of joy for more than we can even imagine.

Holley



Remember To Breathe Out
Stephanie Spencer


I am not good at everything. I do not think this is big news to anyone who knows me. It should not be big news to me either.

But sometimes, it is news to me. Because sometimes, I feel like I should be good at everything; particularly when I have spent a lot of time on the Internet, looking for inspiration.

Sometimes the inspiration I think I am finding online is actually suffocation.

I breathe in original craft ideas I should make, powerful writing I should emulate, tasty recipes I should cook, and stories of world travels I should aspire to. Then I breathe in again, this time fashion combos I should wear, profound quotes I should remember, educational activities I should do with my kids, and Bible verses I should memorize. Then I breathe in again. And again. And again.

I suffocate because I forget to breathe out.

I breathe in these ideas meant to inspire me, and accumulate them into a new standard of what I think I should be. I suffocate under the weight of this idealized version of a real person.

I need to remember to breathe out. I need to breathe out with the words "I am not good at everything." And that is as it should be.

Because that does not mean I am not good at anything. Ephesians 2:10 says,

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Every person, including me, was crafted by God with gifts, to be used for a purpose. I should celebrate and explore the person God made me to be.

As I do that, I just need to remember that I was not crafted with every gift, for every purpose. That is why God also gave me community.

In Romans 12:4-6 says,

"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us."

I think these verses can apply not only to spiritual gifts, but also to natural ones. So if my gift is crafting, I should craft. If it is cooking, I should cook. If it is writing, I should write. God designed me to use and share the gifts I've been given. God did not design me to spend my energy trying harder and harder to be good at the gifts He did not give me.

If I was good at everything, then I would stand in awe of myself. Since I am not, I can stand in awe of a God who created a diversity of people in a beautiful tapestry of interdependence.

So as we see others using their gifts, we should breathe them in. As we do, we can be encouraged and inspired. We just need to remember to also breathe out.

"I am not good at everything." Ahhhh. That felt good.

by Stephanie Spencer, Everyday Awe

[Judy Harder]

What You're Trying to Tell Him When You're Angry ..... {5 Ways to Fight Through to a Loving Marriage}
Feb 09, 2012 05:22 am | Ann Voskamp


Ithink we were standing outside the back door, out by the white pickup under the Big Dipper, when I turned and said it.

Said I hated him.

The dark can make you brave.

Or a fool.



But when you're twenty-two and think you know everything, panic can tear up your chest like this howl that has to rip free.

"I hate it when you stand there all quiet."

He kicks the ground with the toe of his boot, drives his hands deep into his Wranglers. Does he hear me at all?

"Hate how you just pull away. Hate how you always think I'm the problem and it's never you. Hate it, hate it — hate y..."

There. There it is, spewn sick over everything. And the moment that ugliness wrenches free, I feel released — and wretched. Ill.

I want to fling that wedding band encircling my finger and everything. And I want to somehow hold on tight.

I want him to hold me tight.

He turns his back.



How in the world did we get here and so fast and isn't this the mad dance that drives the wedded wild? For the first two years after our vows, it's the only dance we knew.

I'd thought I'd married the wrong man.

I don't know how many meals I ate silent, never lifting my eyes from the plate.

I do know how the dance went: a few steps and we'd rub each other the wrong way, irritation building and intimacy falling apart. I'd discuss and he'd distance. I'd rage and he'd disengage. I'd escalate and he'd escape.

Then the icy silence sets in — all this continental distance between us shifting past each other cold in the kitchen.

He'd say he had a migraine and go to bed right after dinner. I'd cry over the sink with the water running. I didn't know that the first law of love is to listen — listen to the ache under the anger.

No English teacher ever taught me what nearly 18 years of marriage now gives credence to: Anxiety and anger, they come from the same root word.

Anxiety, it can drive anger.

And an angry voice, it can be a cry of fear.

Fears dress up as anger – why didn't I tell him that sooner?

That's what I had to tell him is begging behind my angry fronts: all these anxious fears–

"Are you really here for me? Do you really care? Can I really depend on you?"

Under everything, that's what we're all terrified of:  being left and abandoned. We're all desperate for connection and God made us for communion, for koinonia.

And whether I'm frustrated that he didn't take the garbage out or bring the mail in or hang his coat up, whether this is about paying attention or spending money or investing in kids or budgeting time — no matter what words, or volume or tone I use, what my words are stammering to say,

"Can I really count on you? Are we connected? Do I matter to you? Will you love me? "

Please — just hold me tight.

We are always the child.



I didn't know the research said it, but my heart already knew it: Falling in love again isn't so much about communicating better, but about connecting deeper.

Poor communication doesn't disconnect souls — it's the disconnected souls who poorly communicate. When we're well attached, we communicate well and when we aren't fully communicating it's because we don't feel connected.

No matter our age, it never stops, this need to feel securely attached, and messy marriages can be because of attachment disorders. That's what good relationships are: safe havens in the world, this base that makes us brave to venture out into the world — and safe to come home.

That's what He made love to be: for love to bear all things. "Bears," it's  stego in the Greek — "a thatch roof."

Love bears all things — love literally becomes a thatch roof.

That's what real love always is: I become a roof for you, a wing for you, a shelter in your storm.

Come to me. Count on me to hold you.


I had once choked it out in this wild desperation: "Are women really like ambulances? When we are most in need of tender care, we're these screaming sirens? And that's why men pull far away — getting out of the way and off the road?"

He had looked over at me. Looked into me. For a moment, we'd stood there, searching each other — waiting for someone to open a door and be a roof. "Can I count on you? Do I matter to you?"

He'd shook his head, chuckled softly — and reached over, grabbed my hand and pulled me right into him.

"So when you're angry — it's really this alarm? That you need care?" He tilts my chin. What if God bound us together — to help us bind up each others wounds?

I nod slowly.

"And what you really need  is ER — an emotional response?" He leans his forehead against mine.

I close my eyes.

In this dark, I'm the wild fool who is safe. 

And I nod and he holds me tight,  his arms enfolding, these trusses all around, and together we stand under this expanse of love, fears flung far away ...

::

::




5 Ways to Fight through to Love:




1. You don't need honed communication skills —

As much as the will to connect hearts.

2. Get to the tender wounded question behind  every fight:

"Can I depend on you? Do my feelings matter to you? How do you care about me? Hold me?"

3.  In the anxiety that's masking as anger, don't up the ante

Don't up the ante with name-calling, labels or threats of the D word (divorce).

Critical language can register in the brain as the same area as physical pain — which leaves your spouse dealing with their own pain, instead of caring for you in yours.

4. Be your spouse's ER:

Emotionally Respond. Listen to the cries of fear behind the fighting. Hear anger as a cry for attachment, this call for connection. Have the courage in the midst of the heat to tenderly reach out and touch the bruised places. Reassure that you'll always be there, that you care, that you're in this together.

5. Hold each other close and long...

Love bears all things. Be a roof, a wing, a shelter in the storm.


::::::::

Related:

How to {make} Love {into a marriage}
5 Secrets to Make a Marriage Last
The 4 Minute Marriage Habit : How to fall in Love All Over Again


~ Ann Voskamp.... from one struggling heart to yours...




Q4U: If you could ask anything at all about how to make a marriage work — what would you ask?

What's the hardest thing you've worked through in your marriage?

What's one thing you'd tell newlyweds now that you've learned the hard way?

How are you forging through to love right now?  How can we pray for you today in your marriage?

[Judy Harder]

Lovingkindness Poured Down
Feb 10, 2012 12:20 am | Jacque Watkins


Sometimes waking to sweet and kind words, sets the pace for the whole day.

And I awake to the chime of a 6:04 am text:

"I am praying for you to have a wonderful day! Enjoy the rain!!"



And my heart smiles as I sink back into my pillow, cherishing the quiet morning minutes of stillness and reflection.

And sometimes the kindness of a friend overwhelms.

The rain poured down and the streets were wet, as I drove to the grocery store and back. And on my way home, with Sandi-Patty-hymns serenely playing, my thoughts raced with all I still had to accomplish in this day.



The windshield intersected the raindrops, and the wipers cleared their remnants away, in a steady and rhythmic strumming sound. And amidst their mesmerizing cadence, my thoughts continued on. With self-doubts escalating and deep-questioning fears rising–even when a heart is filled with overwhelmed-ness ...

Sometimes the kindness of a friend overwhelms.

I bolted out the car door in the drizzling rain to get the mail, and little did I know, that the cold metal mailbox held a priceless gift–a treasure.



A treasure that's rare amidst these cyber-heavy and social-media-ridden days–to receive the gift of hand-written words on a page ... words scrolled down with the intent of a heart, and the effort of a human hand.

And my eyes almost couldn't believe what I held. A notecard, hand-addressed to me! And I rushed to open it, quickly tearing the envelope with my eagerness and excitement.

This timely word had dropped out of nowhere, and in the seat of my car

with the rain pattering down, her words poured down like rain on my parched and cracked soul ... soaking in deep. And they brought the rain of my flowing tears, straight.on.down.

This, such a wet day, in so many wonderful ways–this refreshing wetness, all of it wonderfully pouring down.

And I am moved by the kindness and overwhelmed by the thoughts, and like the morning text had hoped for me...I AM enjoying the rain.

I unloaded the groceries and put them away, and my phone suddenly chimed with another random text:

"Hi jacque have a wonderful day XOXO"



And I sat, and I paused, and my heart was SO saturated from the goodness of it all.

And this wet day is His gift to me, straight from His heart–from my ABBA to me.

For a long time, He alone has known what we've talked about in our times together. How I've been floundering ... wondering ... where is my place? Do I really have friends? Does what I say, or do, really matter? And He had sent His nourishing and reviving rained-down water to me this day, through the faithfulness and kindness of these friends who know His heart well. They responded to His promptings, becoming His hands and feet to me, and bringing me the affirming whispered message of His Father heart...

You, my child are loved,
And you matter,
And I have great things in store for you.
And the lovingkindness of our God overwhelms.

And I stand amazed at how he orchestrates the affirmations. I revel in how very much He cares about the little things of our hearts. And I'm in awe how He uses those who are His, to be His hands and feet.

The lovingkindness of our God and of sweet friends, has rained on me today–lovingkindness POURED down, and I am overwhelmed and saturated by its goodness.

May you and I listen in close, to the whispers of His promptings, so that we may be used as His rain of lovingkindness upon one another, is my prayer.

How have you been overwhelmed with the kindness of a friend?

By Jacque Watkins, Mercy Found Me



Fragile
Feb 10, 2012 Robin Dance


"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential
to turn a life around."
Leo Buscaglia



Recently I admitted having thin skin.

On one hand I am Steel Magnolia, resilient and strong and confident.   But the tiniest of daggers can pierce skin's shield and impale my heart.  Pieces shatter, blood flows, wounds seep.  In that moment I take my eyes off Christ and I forget who I am.

No...I forget Whose I am.
Our hearts are fragile, aren't they? God gave us new hearts, hearts of flesh to replace the stony hearts we had before we met Him; a place His spirit could reside, so Christ could live in and through us.

I searched the word "heart" on Biblegateway and it returned 805 verses (NASB).   This leaves little doubt to the heart's importance based on Scripture's pure repetition alone.  Many were familiar references to the hardening of the heart and to its evil inclination, but also your heart:

is an indicator of what you value. (Matthew 6:21)
can be jealous and selfish (James 3:14)
reflects what you think and believe (Matthew 12:34)
empowers us to do the will of God (Ephesians 6:6)
holds memory and affection (Luke 2:19)
grieves (Romans 9:2)
must be guarded (Luke 21:34)
may be encouraged (Colossians 2:2)
rejoices (John 16:22)
is known by God (Acts 15:
is cleansed by faith (Acts 15:9)
can be broken by the actions or words of others (Acts 21:31)
(and this is just a sampling of the more exhaustive list I'm pondering...!)

But how can we know if we don't read His word?  And how can we hear ~ truly hear ~ if we're reading out of compulsion or obligation?

With the turn of a new year, many of us claimed a word (or received them as a God-gift) as a banner for these 366 days in 2012.  As much as I'm anticipating adventure, though...a question dogged me leading up to the new year–

What if on 12/31/12, I had spent the 365 days leading up to it reading Scripture daily, devotionally...passionately...relationally...?
Less than two months into daily reading, I'm better at the "daily" part of that question than the descriptors that come after; regardless, here's the remarkable discovery:

What once would have splintered my heart is now seen through Spirit eyes.
Though I might still feel the impact of pointy daggers, their sting is softened by considering how God might be using each circumstance to

renew my mind and transform my heart (Romans 12:2)
and

consider others more highly than I do myself. (Philippians 2:3)
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. ~ Romans 12:18
There have been several instances recently where I've been hurt by the words or actions of others.  My earnest desire has been to restore relationship, to seek peace above my need to be right, to love when I didn't even like, to honor the Lord with my actions.  I've recognized changes God wanted to accomplish in my life by shedding light on hard truths delivered by the mouths of others; I've also had compassion where I could have easily harbored bitterness, understanding that sometimes harsh words are a result of the other party speaking from a wounded position–

Evidences of renewed mind and transformed heart!
This pursuit to know God more intimately ~ devotionally, passionately, relationally ~ is driving me to know him more intimately!  Does this make sense?  As I see myself changing and responding differently, my faith is growing, joy is rising, hope is strengthened..even for this child who doubts!

Thinking back on Buscaglia's quote at the beginning of this post, I can see where it's not just about reacting differently to the things that break my heart; it's seeking out those who are hurting and then ministering Small Graces:

a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring...

Once again, God's mysterious ways confound me! 

A broken heart, though painful, isn't bad.
In fact, He desires contrition, a broken spirit. Maybe it is only in our brokenness and desperation that we're willing and able to surrender in order to be renewed and changed.

Has your heart been wounded and broken by others? Are you yet able to see how God is using this (ultimately) for your good and His glory?  Tell me your stories, lovies–I want to celebrate your renewal and transformation; let us pray for you to have wisdom and spiritual insight to see ALL God has for YOU if you aren't yet beyond the pain.

You...are...loved.

: : : : : : : : : :

By Robin Dance, All-American girl, now living as an Ex-pat in Germany.

: : : : : : : :

[Judy Harder]

One Word Is All It Takes {God's Love Notes}

Feb 11, 2012  Bonnie Gray


Do you remember a first love letter?

I remember mine.

I still remember the first time he emailed me.

He. emailed. me.

My throat gasped in disbelief as my head swam off to sea. My heart was standing in front of cheering thousands, I was so nervously euphoric. I was the victor, having captured someone's heart.

Were these words written about me?

I'd read and re-read. If the day got tedious, you would've never guessed it. I could recall how a sentence wrapped around, where a comma was placed, with photographic memory like never before.

All the Dear Jane letters that littered my past disappeared in that moment.

It takes take many words to bring joy in the language of love.

There are so many words that we consume in a day.  The ones we speak as parents, co-worker, managers and workers.  We wade through emails, entertainment news, tweets, Facebook messages, not to mention newsletters, bills and spam.

The year's just started and our world floods us with sales, specials, diets, programs and resolutions.

But, just one word from God is all it takes.

To give us joy.

To give us rest.

If we really believed God wrote us love letters, we'd carry them like notes in a bobbing bottle in our desert island of stress.

I'm wanting joy this year and it's the kind that can only be found in being loved. Without faith, it is impossible to believe what we're craving is really what God is offering. Faith is the one choice we have for joy.

Let's take out that shoe box and start dusting off those love letters. Read them fresh and keep our eyes open. We've got some of God's love letters coming our way.

God's Love Notes (GLN)

When your days feel weary with words that overwhelm you about your worth, look for God's Love Notes.

Here are some I've tucked away, that I'd like to share.

1. My Regrets.

I will make up for opportunities you think you've lost. You can trust I have something worth the trade of your heart.

"Then I will make up to you for the years that the locust has eaten." Joel 2:25

2. My best efforts are nothing compared to my failures.

Don't despise small beginnings. You are big in my eyes. Your heart is more valuable to me than the results of your efforts. Don't be afraid. I will never give up on you. Don't give up on me.

"Who despises the day of small things?" Zech 4:10

"My Spirit remains among you; do not fear. I will fill this temple with glory. .. The glory of this latter temple (our imperfect selves) shall be greater than the former (self-made lives)." Haggai 2:4,5, 8,9

3. My Negative Traits/Mistakes prove I'm not fruitful. I'm a failure.

You can't do this. That's why I'm here. You are not a failure. Growing takes time. One day, you'll have no idea how it happened, but you'll be surprised my words have an effect on you.

"This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself , the soil produces grain." Mark 1:26-29″

Your words were found and I ate them, And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; For I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts.



~~~~~

Share a verse or one word you've received from God with us.


Pull up a chair. Let's swap God's love notes.  Click here to comment.


~~~~~



By Bonnie Gray, the Faith Barista, serving up shots of faith for everyday life.

Join Bonnie and the community as they explore Love Unwrapped Series in February on Faith Barista.

[Judy Harder]

A Sunday Scripture: What Love Is
Feb 12, 2012  incourage




Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy,  it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

[Judy Harder]

 

You Are Loved
God's love is different from ours.
God doesn't just give love - He is love.

We are experts at earning the affections of friends, lovers, children, and our families. Coming face-to-face with a God who loves us unconditionally sets us off balance. It's much easier to believe, "If I go to church and read my Bible, God will love me." That makes us feel safe because it seems we can control God's love. It's scary to believe in God's unconditional love.

What if it's not true? Then the deepest desire of our hearts can never be a reality. We watch Cinderella and the prince then hope for our own version of living happily ever after. But life disappoints us, and God is our last chance to be fully, deeply loved. So we do everything possible to please Him because even though we've endured many rejections, His would be unbearable.

But God is whispering the words to our hearts we long to hear if only we can dare to believe them: "You are loved deeply, truly, always." That's the kind of crazy love that sets us free forever. God invites us to take His hand, trust His heart, and believe that the love we've been searching for all our lives is the love we've already found.

--Devotional excerpt by Holley Gerth, from her book God's Heart for You: Embracing Your True Worth as a Woman.

For more hope and encouragement, visit Heart to Heart with Holley and subscribe by email there to receive her free





From My Heart to Yours
You're loved-
not just a little, but a lot...
not just on this day, but always...
not just by God, but others too...
(me, for example)

Happy Valentine's Day
from my heart to yours.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God.
I John 4:16 NIV

[Judy Harder]

Last Minute Valentine's Day Traditions & Ideas

Jennifer Schmidt

(DIY Iced Coffee)

Often, the fondest childhood memories stem from family traditions that are lovingly repeated throughout the years. Growing up,  my family tapestry wove a rich heritage colored with traditions. Family traditions, some intentionally designed with an emphasis on spiritual development, while others planned purely for crazy moments of fun, create a sense of identity and belonging. I always refer to traditions as the "We all" of family. In our unpredictable, busy schedules there are always certain things that family members can count on. Those traditions were, and still are, the "We all" of our family.

"We always" go to the Christmas tree farm on Black Friday. We always have devotions on the beach during our family reunion.

We always serve breakfast in bed on birthday blessing days

"We always" do this....(you fill in the blank).

Throughout scripture there are continual reminders and examples of  feasts, fellowship, and celebrations. Times of remembrances occurred over and over - traditions.

When most of us think on this subject, we list traditions that have been established around Thanksgiving or Christmas, but we've never thought to give each month a memory moment of its own. The power of purposeful traditions stem throughout the entire year, not just a few holidays. Once a month memory moments have power when family identity is woven throughout the ordinary, making them extraordinary. When a level of significance is added to the ordinary repetition of life, a tradition is created.

If you haven't already established some creative "We all" Valentine's Day traditions, why not start one this year?

When we savor the small things, our lifestyle embraces the sentiment that the "little things are the big things", and they don't have to cost a penny. Here are just a few inexpensive ways you can start a special Valentine's Day tradition with your family.



Even though Valentine's Day falls on a week day, there are still some quick and easy ways to make breakfast extra special. Spend an Start the day with these special Valentine's Day Love Muffins.

Write little notes of affection, or scriptures to encourage, on red and pink construction paper. While the muffins are baking, fold the love notes in half, and attach a ribbon to the top of each message. When the muffins are done baking, insert your special love notes into the tops of the muffins, leaving the ribbons exposed.

Use your own muffin recipe, a store bought one or use my "semi-homemade" Sour Cream Banana Cake recipe that whips up in minutes. The recipe is not important, it's the combined nourishment of both tummy and soul that's key.


2. Engage the power of encouraging words with the Ten Things I Love about you free printable cards. Tomorrow, have fun hiding these in creative places. Tuck them in a lunch bag, under a pillow, in a briefcase, underwear drawer or maybe even the cookie jar?



3. One of our children's favorite traditions has been our Treasure Hunt of Love. I have varied this idea for different holidays, and it's always been a favorite. 

Make this treasure hunt reflect your family's personality. With a mixture of scripture, clues, and silly verses, this can be as simple or elaborate as you choose. Read more about it here: Valentine's Day Treasure Hunt of Love.



4. For the rest of the month, continue on with the Hearts of Loving Kindness Tradition. During February, our family's character/virtue is kindness. By tying the learning of a virtue with a fun tradition, it engages the children's hearts and encourages them to go "above and beyond" in their serving of others.

Phew, I am just getting started, and could share many more ideas, but hopefully that sparked your creative juices.

I am a tradition gatherer, so even though I have tons of tradition ideas on my blog for every holiday and celebration, I always enjoy trying something new.

Please share  any plans or ideas you have for making Valentine's Day extra special.

I'd love to hear them.


P.S. Honestly, my family is getting their Love Muffins tomorrow, but then I am giving them a rain check until Saturday. We have to be out the door early, and will not get home until well after dinner. I've realized that I can't be a slave to my traditions or "thee day," and often, flexibility brings freedom.

Shared by Jen, a lover of traditions, who is in constant pursuit of Balancing Beauty and Bedlam.



Love to the Next Level
Rachel Wojnarowski


Some days the Mama in us is a wee tired and the time for naps is gloriously anticipated. While the workload of being the CHFO (Chief Home and Family Officer) doesn't diminish during this little afternoon break, the hope is that Mom will work without tiny bodies under toe and in a few moments of revitalizing peace, IF the household cooperates.

On one particular day recently, my Tarah had finished all her pre-nap reading requests and as she climbed on the bed, I noticed a little detail that for some unknown reason,  I had previously overlooked.  Sweet " T" wasn't content to lie on top of the covers for nap like her older siblings previously did in past years. She didn't want to sleep with her head on top of the pillow, draping the blankie over her precious little frame.

Toddler "T" wanted to have those covers of the bed pulled back!

Enjoying the feeling of snuggling into the blanket, face nestled against the soft pillow, she smiled at me and stretched the covers up to her chin.  At the ripe age of 2, she knew exactly how she wanted to sleep.  A sign seemed to hang over her headboard that read:

If you're going to nap, nap all the way.

As I closed the bedroom door halfway and headed off to the Central Domestic Sub Office, AKA the laundry room, my thoughts turned towards this verse:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31

Sometimes the long term investment of caring can get a little scary.

And loving people? That's sheer work!

But if the mind of Christ is operating through us in totality, lying "on top of the bed with a thin spread of Bible verses"  won't cut it. As Christians, our heart and mind must be fully engaged in His Word and totally immersed in His presence.

Begging His Spirit to work through us.

Listening to His voice whisper affirmation to our hearts.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

If you're going to love someone, love them all the way.

By Rachel Wojnarowski, Faith.Family.Fun.


Be Brave {and a Giveaway!}
Feb 13, 2012 12:10 am | Julie Hunt




I decided it was time.

After several years of ambivalence about adding a dog to our already full, chaotic household, it was time.  My husband had been willing for years, but I was too overwhelmed with all of the "dependents" in my house, and there was a discrepancy about the desire for a dog amongst my children. But my son was turning 10 and it seemed like the right gift to give him at this milestone birthday.  I also finally accepted my husband's advice that the best way for our 7-year-old daughter's intense terror of dogs to be eradicated, was having a dog of our own.

This seemed like an enormous risk.

Her fear was tremendous.  I mean, before nearing a house, she would always think to ask, "Do they have a dog, Mom?"  If they did, she would scale my body like it was a ladder, in order to be safe from the barking, licking, jumping, unknown creature on the other side of the door.

So, when we brought home Scout, our adopted 5-year-old Golden Retriever, it was a big day – for us all – in good ways and risky ways. Our sign in the hall, which has ever-changing words of challenge/inspiration for our family was changed to "Be Brave" that week. Thankfully, Scout has a gentle, laid-back disposition and is very loving and kind.

For the first six days that Scout lived at our home, Lainey would cautiously move about the house.  She liked him. She was intrigued by him.  She wanted to pet him and even brush him, if he was perched on his "allowed" spot on the loveseat.

But she remained reluctant to approach him.

She needed to know where he was at all times but began to see that he is not a licker, or a biter, or a jumper.  She began to learn his temperament and how to interact with him.

I could see her trusting him a bit more.

One day she proclaimed, "I've decided to try to not be afraid of him anymore!"  With that matter-of-fact statement, my husband and I looked at each other with a curious look and said, "Great"!? We were expectant and curious as to how this was going to work.

And it did.

She walked in from school that day and called for Scout, who came trotting down the hall towards her.  With a giggle, she dropped her bags and petted him, grabbed his long, red leash off of the coat rack by the door and said, "I'll take him on a walk!" We were stunned and thrilled.  And she did it. She took a risk. She dove in. She "tried not being afraid" and it fit!

In our shock, we made comments to her in the coming days about how excited and proud we were of her.  I found myself telling her how brave she was with every new "risk" she was taking with him.  A couple of days into this she said, "Mom, will you please stop calling me brave?"  I was taken aback. "What do you mean? You are brave! I am so proud of you!" I replied.  She said, "I don't want to be brave. I am NOT brave anymore. I am NORMAL! I am just Lainey."

And I got it.

She didn't want to be "exceptionally brave" for not being afraid of her own dog. Most children she knows love animals and are not afraid.  She was ready for this to be her "new self."

In  Relate, I ask participants to consider how they are in relationships: Are they isolated? Do they play it safe? Are they in conflicted relationships? Or are they happy with the health of their relationships?  I think about Lainey, and her fear of the unknown, and how paralyzing it was to her.  When she was able to test the waters and see for herself the "safety" of Scout, she was able to dive in and take a risk.  And she is now delighting in this newfound friendship.

So, I wonder how many of us fear relationships? We seek to play it safe. We run from places where vulnerability and risk are likely to be required. (I tell Lainey that caution and healthy fear of animals is wise! We must not walk up to stranger-dogs and reach towards them without knowledge of what we're approaching.) Likewise, we are wise to test the waters and get to know someone before giving ourselves fully to them.  However, once we've discerned the safety of the relationship, we need courage to "try to not be afraid" and see what rewards and joys are found in deep, transparent, invested relationships. And who knows...it might not even feel like bravery after awhile.

***

GIVEAWAY!

So, how are you in relationships, are you isolated? Do you play it safe? Are you in conflicted relationships? Or are you happy with the health of your relationships?

We'll choose FIVE commenters to win a copy of Relate.

{Learn more about Relate: Knowing, Loving, and Forgiving the People in Your Life here}

By Julie, Cup-a Cup-a

[Judy Harder]

Daddy's Gifts

Feb 14, 2012  Dawn Camp

During my childhood, my mom did most of the shopping for Christmas presents. She was a practical shopper, buying mostly clothes and necessary items. One mid-December day each year, however, my dad made the yearly excursion to shop for "his" gift.

Daddy's presents weren't practical. They were of the fun, frivolous, open-me-last variety. The anticipation began on the shopping day and built until the much-anticipated opening of the gift. Looking back, my sister and I both recall our favorite as the year of the boom boxes (CD player just doesn't have the same flair as boom box, does it?).

It wasn't just the presents that were memorable. Knowing that my dad took the time and effort to seek out something special each year—that one item destined to become my favorite—well, that was every bit as meaningful as the gift itself.

Actually, it's that feeling of being loved and treasured that I remember most.



Now I like searching for gifts to make my daddy happy, like this mug in honor of my his prized Mustang convertible that I drove in high school.

What about you? What is the most treasured or memorable gift you've received or given?

If you are reviewing a DaySpring Gift Collection this month, link up your review below!




Forever Loved
Feb 14, 2012  Angela Nazworth




When my daughter was about four-years-old, she bounced over to me with a hug and a serious-question.

"Mommy, do you know when I'm never going to love you?" (Translation for those of you who may not speak Childrenese: "Do you know when I'm going to stop loving you?")

I smiled and looked down into her large, acorn-shaped eyes, "When?"

With an affirming giggle she replied, "NEVER! I'm just going to love you, and love you, and love you forever!"

Oh how those simple words rejuvenated my heart. After swooping her up into my arms for a shower of kisses, I thought about the eternal love God has for me ... for all of His children. The hours He has spent loving me far out number the hours I've lived on this earth.

In my life time, He has destroyed walls that jailed me, unlocked the shackles that immobilized me, and loosened the blindfold that concealed light from my eyes. He has given me armor to shield me from my enemies and hope to restrain my doubt. Every offense I have ever committed has been blanketed with His forgiveness. I am often ungrateful, yet still He loves me. I have nothing to offer Him that is not already His, yet still, He loves me. I am unworthy, yet still, He loves me.

Do you know when He's "never going to love me?" Never. He's going to love me, and love, and love me forever! Nothing fills my heart as full as that beautiful truth.

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!" Romans 8:38-39 Holman Christian Standard Bible

Angela Nazworth writes more about God's unfailing love at Womb-Woven.