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Looks like we got about 6 inches here in Emporia.  How much did you get? 

Every time you post to the thread Ross started (for or against) you feed his huge ego.  If you ever notice...every time it hasn't been posted to for a few hours Ross thinks of something to add to it.  It feeds his HUGE ego that he has the longest and most active thread on the board.  If you think he is a nutty CONSPIRACIST stop adding to his thread and blowing up his ego. 
 

WE are in trouble...

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.


2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama
Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.


Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

LOL!  We were supposed to go to a friends farm in Marion this weekend to have a 60th birthday party for a dear friend.  Well...... Nobody lives there anymore so they went out to mow yesterday and found out something is wrong with their well or pump for the well and the water is not working.   They changed the plan and decided we would all go to Melvern Lake and camp out there instead.       That would all be well and fine except these people like to REALLY party and they are a bit rowdy for a nice quiet campground like Turkey Point at Melvern.    There will be about 30 of us and we have all been great friends for years and years.   Two of these friends are Canadian Indians and they get real busy with the fire water.     I just know somebody is going to call the  on us.  If the Donut  Shop isn't open on Monday you can assume Tony and I are in the pokey and please take up a collection to bail us out.   

I hope you all have a great weekend!  I know we are going to have a blast!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target... I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipstick,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and .. .

HOLY MOTHER OF MOSES . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HECK!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor... A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HECK!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone... I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S...... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

Hmmmm...  http://www.valleyeasttoday.ca/evergreengardens/FMS%20Map/OddsEndsSections/interesting_things_to_know_1.htm

Here is a website I found about Tradewind energy

http://www.tradewindenergy.com/Project.aspx?id=238&ekmensel=15074e5e_28_0_238_5

That's How the Fight Started



My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make love?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."


And that's when the fight started....


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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"


And that's when the fight started....


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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside..
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap
That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'


And then the fight started.....


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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7..95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.


And then the fight started....


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A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'


And then the fight started.......


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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."


And then the fight started...


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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My Gosh!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'


And then the fight started...


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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home an d come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'


And then the fight started...


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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'


And then the fight started...


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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.


And then the fight started...

I'm serious ya'll!  If you don't have a good friend like I do in Connie I'm sorry for you.   

I went to Emporia this last weekend because my husband was on call for work and had to stay in Emporia.    I came back early afternoon on Sunday because I needed to prepare a few things for Monday and I always deep clean on Sundays. 

As soon as I came back to town I walked into the Donut shop and saw chairs pulled back away from the tables and went    Then I smelled the clean smell of bleach  As I walked back into the shop I saw trash cans all lined up in the hall    What the hell??? As I kept walking I noticed all of my clean dishes were put away and the dish room scrubbed down and sparkling    Then I walk into the fry room and it is gleaming too??    Someone even scrubbed my finishing trays and rack and it was actually shinning?      The whole danged shop was clean as a whistle.    I can't tell you how surprised I was.   

There was not a question in my mind that my dear dear friend Connie took mercy on me out of the kindness of her heart and did this for me.  I swear I never even hinted for her to do this for me.   This lady took several hours of her day off to do something so wonderful for me!!   Connie saved me several hours of work and she did a better job than I would have done because I was already pooped from my weekend at home in Emporia with the Grandson.    Connie just somehow knew I needed a break and she gave it to me with no expectations. 

Ya'll have no idea what a jewel Connie is to me.   I cannot even begin to name everything she has done for me.  She has donated countless hours of her precious time to helping me at the shop.   She has went on millions of road trips with me.  She has prayed for me, she has been behind me 10000%.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times she has listened to me whine and cry because I have been so scared.  Almost daily Connie reminds me  "God will provide" and she has been right so far.   Somehow I have just squeaked by and been able to keep the doors open.   She has even kicked me in the ass a few times and told me not to give up.   With a friend like Connie behind me I can do anything!

Connie THANK YOU!!!  I love you with all of my heart and you are really a true friend.  I thank God for you every single day!!

7 Misconceptions About the Stimulus
by Kimberly Lankford
Thursday, April 9, 2009 provided by Kiplinger's Personal Finance

Since President Obama signed the economic-stimulus package into law February 17, I have received many questions about its provisions. And I've noticed that there are a lot of misconceptions about the plan. Here's the lowdown.

Misconception #1: Most people will get their stimulus money as a check this year.

Instead of receiving a check from the government, most single taxpayers will see an adjustment to their tax withholding in their paychecks in 2009 and 2010, giving them about $45 extra per month for the rest of this year (married workers will receive an extra $65). If you're self-employed, you can adjust your quarterly tax payments to benefit from the tax credit. Then you will claim the credit when you file your 2009 tax return next spring, bringing your tax bill in line with your reduced payments.

The stimulus also provides a one-time payment of $250 to recipients of Social Security, Railroad Retirement and Veterans Administration benefits.(People who applied for any of these benefits for the first time after January 31 don't get the money; only those on the rolls in November and December 2008 and January 2009 are eligible.) You'll get the money electronically or by check, depending on how you receive those benefits. Retired government employees who don't receive Social Security will also get a $250 credit when they file their 2009 returns.

Misconception #2: The adjustment to withholding will have to be paid back when you file your tax return next year.

Wrong -- the stimulus is actually a tax credit of 6.2% of taxable wages in 2009 and 2010, to a maximum each year of $400 for single taxpayers and $800 for married couples filing jointly. The credit is refundable, which means that you can still receive the full credit even if it is worth more than your total tax liability.

Paychecks are being adjusted now to get more money into the economy faster. You'll claim the credit when you file your return next year, so your tax bill should adjust in line with the stimulus money (and you might get some extra money at tax time if your withholding wasn't adjusted enough to account for the extra credit during the year, which may happen for some married people in single-earner households).

But not everyone qualifies for the credit. It begins to phase out for single filers with adjusted gross incomes of $75,000 or higher, or $150,000 for married couples filing jointly, and it disappears entirely for single filers with AGIs of $95,000 or more, or $190,000 for joint filers.

Misconception #3: The first-time home buyer's credit needs to be repaid.

You may not have to repay the credit, depending on when you bought the house.

If you buy a house between January 1, 2009, and December 1, 2009, you could receive a credit for 10% of the home's purchase price, up to $8,000. This credit does not have to be repaid as long as you own the home for at least three years.

If you bought a first home between April 9, 2008, and December 31, 2008, you are eligible for a tax credit of 10% of the home's purchase price, up to $7,500 -- but the credit must be repaid over 15 years, starting two years after you claim the credit. If you sell the home before you finish paying back the credit, the balance is due in full the year of the sale.

The 2008 and 2009 credits begin to phase out if your modified adjusted gross income is more than $75,000 (or $150,000 if you're married filing jointly). The credit disappears entirely after your income reaches $95,000 if you're single, or $170,000 if married filing jointly. You are considered a first-time home buyer if you (and your spouse, if you are married) didn't own a primary residence in the past three years. The credit does not apply to rental property and vacation homes.

Misconception #4: You can't get the 2009 first-time home-buyer tax credit until you file your tax return next year.

Actually, taxpayers who buy a first home in 2009 do not need to wait until they file their 2009 return (by April 15, 2010) to benefit from the credit. To get the money into the economy faster, the federal government is giving you a choice of claiming the first-time home-buyer credit on either your 2008 or your 2009 tax return.

There's actually a way to benefit from the credit even before you buy your first home. If you plan to buy by the November 31 deadline, you can reduce your withholding on your paychecks right away. The increased take-home pay could help you with the down payment. File a new W-4 form with your employer to adjust your withholding. (And remember to re-adjust your withholding again next year.)

If you have already filed your 2008 return, you can use Form 1040X to amend it. If you purchase a first home after the 2008 tax-filing deadline of April 15, 2009, you can still claim the credit on your 2008 tax return either by requesting a six-month extension for filing your return (which doesn't extend the deadline for paying any taxes owed) or by filing an amended return.

Misconception #5: You need to apply through the government to get the COBRA health-care subsidy.

Contact your former employer, not the government, to take advantage of the COBRA subsidy. If you were laid off since September 1, 2008, and are already receiving COBRA coverage, then you'll pay 35% of the COBRA health-insurance premiums, and your former employer will pay the remaining 65%. The government will then reimburse your former employer for the subsidy through a payroll tax credit.

If you were laid off on September 1, 2008, or later but didn't sign up for COBRA coverage, you'll get a second chance to elect COBRA and benefit from the subsidy. You should receive a notice from your former employer soon, or contact your former employer to find out about the steps for signing up.

Misconception #6: You can receive the COBRA subsidy the entire time you're covered by COBRA.

Federal law requires most companies with 20 or more employees to let former employees keep group health-insurance coverage for up to 18 months after they leave their jobs. But the 65% COBRA subsidy lasts for only nine months. After that, the premiums will jump back to the full price - and the average employer health-insurance plan costs $12,680 per year for family coverage, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

If you have health issues, COBRA may still be your best bet despite the hefty price tag. But many people can find a better deal by buying their own health insurance. You can get price quotes for individual policies at eHealthInsurance.com, or find a local health-insurance agent at the National Association of Health Underwriters Web site. Check out your options at least one month before your COBRA subsidy expires so you'll have plenty of time to find out how much an individual policy would cost.

The subsidy ends if you find a job and your new employer offers health-care coverage or you become eligible for Medicare. And COBRA does not apply if the company stops offering health coverage to current employees or shuts down entirely.

Misconception #7: The number of weeks you can receive emergency unemployment benefits has been extended.

The stimulus does not provide additional weeks of benefits for people who use their 33 weeks of emergency unemployment-compensation benefits; it just expands the dates that the program will be available.

A federal law passed last year provides an extra 20 weeks of emergency unemployment compensation to workers who exhausted their regular unemployment benefits, plus an additional 13 weeks of extended benefits for residents of states with high unemployment rates (contact your state unemployment-benefits office for details about your state's rules).

The emergency unemployment-compensation program was scheduled to expire on August 27, 2009, and the last day to apply for benefits was originally set to be March 31, 2009. As a result of the stimulus law, unemployed people who exhaust their regular state benefits now have until December 31, 2009, to apply for extended benefits and can receive compensation until May 31, 2010.

Copyrighted, Kiplinger Washington Editors, Inc.

http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/106889/7-Misconceptions-About-the-Stimulus

Bill Kurtis' son dies in Kansas
July 20, 2009 7:03 PM

The son of former Chicago newsman Bill Kurtis was found dead early today on the Kansas cattle ranch owned by his father, family members said.

Scott Kurtis, 38, suffered from paranoid schizophrenia since he was in his mid-teens, said his stepmother Donna LaPietra.

He was last seen Sunday during the day and may have died late Sunday or early Monday morning. He was found early today by his sister Mary Kristin Kurtis, who also lives near the ranch.

An autopsy is scheduled this week to determine the cause of death. Kurtis also suffered from heart and thyroid ailements as a result of the schizophrenia, said LaPietra.

"It's a lonely life, it's a very sad illness,'' said LaPietra.

The results of the autopsy are expected to come back to the family by Thursday, she said. At the time of Kurtis' death he was alone in his home on his father's ranch, LaPietra said.

"Quite frankly, there's not very much anyone can do so he struggled with that illness and various complications that arise from it," said LaPietra. "Tragically Bill and I have known for a while that often ... schizophrenics do not live past the age of 40. It was something we always had in the back of our minds and Scott really struggled."

LaPietra said for the last 10 years Scott Kurtis had worked at his father's cattle ranch in Sedan, Kan. A memorial service is scheduled at the ranch for Wednesday, LaPietra said.

LaPietra first met Scott when he was 6-years-old after Bill Kurtis' wife and Scott's mother died from breast cancer.

Scott graduated from the Chicago Academy for the Arts and was an avid guitar player, she said.

LaPietra said that ironically her stepson often said his dream job was to be a truck driver so he could travel and see the country.

"He loved the road, it was always a battle for us to persuade him that it was better to be on the land than on the road,'' LaPietra said. "It was his obsession."

-- Carlos Sadovi

The Law Of Attraction? 

The reason I put this here is because I believe what we think about, we bring about. 

A friend of mine swears by this.     You cut several (8-10) jalapenos long ways and boil for 3-5 minutes.  Use the jalapenos however you want.   Use the water from boiling the jalapenos in a spray bottle with about half tap water to spray where ants are getting in and spray the ants mounds outdoors.   It's cheap and worth a try 

and government aid.   I'm not talking about the elderly.  I'm not talking about the single mom trying to get an education so she can make enough money later to raise her kids.   I am talking about people who make government programs their way of life.     

I am going to be 47 this month and I have worked since I was 15 years old.    Even when my kids were small I ran a small daycare (and paid taxes) because it was going to cost me almost as much in childcare as I would make working outside of the home.   Why do I (and others who go to work every day) have to pay for others who choose not to work or barely work?

Please don't bring race into this discussion.

[25th Anniversary They have decided to marry each other all over again in the church on April the 25th. There is going to be a a party in their honor at the fairgrounds and everyone is invited! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ESIQUIO AND CONNIE!!!!!]

In Honor of Connie and Esiquio Avalos 25th Anniversary They have decided to marry each other all over again in the church on April the 25th.  There is going to be a a party in their honor at the fairgrounds and everyone is invited!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ESIQUIO AND CONNIE!!!!!

I am all ears for ideas.  I would love your ideas for anything you would like to see as breakfast items and donut ideas.