Male Midlife Crisis.

[greatguns]

I would love to help you all out on this one, but since I'm only 57 (almost 58), I have not reached mid life yet!  Afterall I'm guessing it won't happen until about 75.

[indygal]

David, we're about the same age but you're a little slower at it than I am. I had my "crisis" at 39 and after a year or so of exciting self-rediscovery, I ended up in Kansas! I think men and women get "antsy" for different reasons, and usually have different ways of going about it, but I do believe it's about self-rediscovery.

I've always thought change (in moderation) is a good thing. A little agitation keeps a pond from growing stagnant. If you aren't changing, you aren't growing. If you aren't growing, you're dying. Life ain't no dress rehearsal....don't spend it front of the TV, PC or any other passive device. What have you always wanted to try? When you were a kid, what did you dream of doing? What things, when you do them, give you the greatest satisfaction and sense of value to yourself and others? That's what you should be doing.

I walked away from a pretty comfortable life and career, and I'm now doing what I lovingly call "glorified camping" in an old church in Howard, KS. And I've never been happier and less worried about the future. While my questions to you in the previous paragraph all include the word "doing," it's not really about doing or having, it's about being. Is your doing a true reflection of your being? That's one of the biggest triggers for "crisis," and one of the most challenging to resolve.

Also be sure if you have the urge to run, that you're running toward something, and not from something.

[Ms Bear]

Sounds like fishing time to me.  Always makes things look better.  If the fish aren't biting then just sitting in the boat away from everything.

[Judy Harder]

david, I have found, well I had to go through a bunch of "cow-stuff" before
I figured out that I am in the best place I can be.

Would I love to have money, YES........would I love to be able to move and act
like I did at 35............Yes,

I am content, for the most part........I am happily waiting for the next chapter.....but
it has been so hard getting me to this point.

In my mind I can still do all I want to do and I do keep hoping.......but, now I am content with what
the Lord gives me and knowing that "This too shall pass" Enjoy each day as it comes and
live to the hilt.

Each of us must face the growing old (er) we don't have to get OLD..........keep your sense of worth, and humor and do get
out and smell the flowers and mellow.
Listen to the peace and quiet when in the mountains and just keep on keeping on.

You are loved........and worth loving.........hang in there.
Have a great vacation.
God bless

[larryJ]

To quote the old saying,



I MAY BE GETTING OLDER, BUT I REFUSE TO GROW UP!

I agree totallly with Judy, in that it took a while to get this far and I am looking forward to see what is next. 

Larryj

[pamsback]

Is your doing a true reflection of your being? That's one of the biggest triggers for "crisis," and one of the most challenging to resolve.

The problem is you spend so many years doin you forget what being is or was lol, so as a friend of mine says you go sit and watch the "sparkles" and try to remember who you used to be when you were just a person instead of mom or wife or whatever

Pam the boys just voted you into the club. That part about "just as soon as I figure it out" had them all shaking their heads in agreement. While I wont say "welcome to the club" it is nice to no you are not alone.

Thanks Here's to us figurin out who we wanna be when we grow up lol

[dnalexander]

First let me say that this has been a great topic and I think there is 5 lifetimes of wisdom here and I hope that by my next comments we can increase it even more.

I posted this topic because it was based on a whole collection of my thoughts and those of my friends and neighbors who as I said are all the same age. I hope I can keep this brief, but forgive me if I don't.

I received an e-mail from one of the forum members where she thought that my case of male midlife crisis was so bad that I should go to the hospital. For the first time something on this forum actually caused me to toss and turn all night. So forgive me if I get long winded in this message, I will try to keep it short. This is the only post of mine you should ever believe is 100% true and serious. If I ever do it again I will post that 100% true label. If I ever do post anything here that you want to know how close to 100% true it is as long as you promise not to tell what I say in a private conversation I will tell you.

Now Let me tell you about how I see this forum and the internet. Realize that I am leaving out 3 book volumes of explanation. I will try to explain with concepts we all know.

I see the internet and this forum as only virtual reality. It is not real even though it does share things with real life. So while I may offer glimpses of my true self, my friends and neighbors know the real me. For some of you that is different because you actually know each other in real life. I wiill probably never ever meet any of you. Not that I would not like to meet you.

Now things I think many of you know about me and I thought I have said here before.

I love Mark Twain and his way of spinning a yarn. I like to tell stories and I am not beyond combining them and exaggerating them if it tells a story or will further a discussion or debate. I love debate. I just might argue that the sun rises in the west. I will argue against my own beliefs if I think the whole story is missing. Also, if you are being rude to a fellow forum member, saying racist, homophobic, bigoted comments there is no limit to what I might do. Thank goodness I had a good Kansas upbringing of manners and values for real life. Since the internet is a fake, virtual world don't make it real. To the person that sent me the e-mail I am sorry that I caused you so much stress; your concern touched my heart. I hope I have done this topic just and I know people don't see it the same way as I do.

If I have to boil this down. If you read my post if I don't post a 100% truth sticker on it assume it is a fictional novel based on a true story. I thought this was more evident to people with all the emoticons, but we don't all view the real world the same and we don't see the virtual world the same.

All this doesn't mean what we discuss here is not important or enjoying. Now I have to go design that sticker. I hope you get my point.

David

[Ole Granny]

David,

Never thought for a moment that you were serious.  I had a mid-life crisis when my last child left home. The emptyness of the house was erie.  Went out a bought a white sofa.  Always wanted one so what the heck, it was three months and someone was moving back in and grandkids were all over that white sofa.  We laughed and enjoyed every spot.  It has been gone for many years and replaced with darker versions.  Two sets of grandkids have lived here for different amounts of time.  Now another grandson has joined the household.  Never really took the time to have much of a crisis.  Life is what you make it.  I do enjoy your wit and humor.  Also, the way you put your words together. Different people interpret the written word differently.  Keep it coming!