Male Midlife Crisis.

[dnalexander]

This topic is one that I spent 4 hours talking to my 52 year old neighbor on Saturday. You see Saturday morning I woke up and at 48 years old I figured out I AM the old dude down the street as we used to call them when I was a kid. How the hell did that happen?  I find myself and the world still facing the same problems I saw as a kid 35 years ago. Back in the 60's and 70's I knew that if those old dudes just stopped screwing up the world and got out of our way my generation would feed the world, stop the wars, solve the oil crisis, stop polluting the environment.

Today is the 40th Anniversary of Apollo 11 and man walking on the Moon .  I remember watching Walter Cronkite talking about it on the news, by the way I am sure by now you have heard he passed away. So did Michael Jackson he was 50 years old., my age. Where did those gray hairs on my chest come from? Some in my beard, just a couple in my hair. Is that thin spot on top of my head getting thinner? At least I haven't lost as much hair as most of my friends. The race to the moon and space exploration is my age. Probably one of the greatest triumphs of man.

My neighbor and I were unable to solve our midlife crisis. In fact talking to people my age seems to make things worse. In my neighborhood everyone is within 10 years of my age. Those little kids that used to live next door now have an 8 year old daughter. Heck I remember when he was 8. I remember when I was 8. After all I was watching the moon landing.

I realize a midlife crisis can be survived. Since no one in my neighborhood seems to know the answer I thought I would ask here; where I know there is a large group of wise people that are 20 to 30 years past this stage. How do you get past the feeling that things will never change for the better. I feel lucky to have been born when I was in 1961 I think I pretty much have been able to live most of my life in the Golden Age of America (1950-1999). I hope we have another one before I die.

I think by now most of you get my point. So tell me my wise elders. Do I get a topless red Ferrari and a topless young redhead or do I move to the cabin in the woods.

David

p.s. Yes I made an appointment with the doctor to make sure that this is not caused by that new medicine I am taking.

[Dee Gee]

David, I say move to a cabin in the woods for some peace and quite time.

[Wilma]

After thinking about this for awhile, I realized what we did.  I was 49 and my husband was 51 when we decided to move from Severy to Sedgewick County where he had worked for 26 years and I had just obtained a job.  We mortgaged everything we owned to make a down payment on an acreage in the county.  Later, after my husband's by-pass surgery and retirement, we used the acreage and some of our savings to make a down payment on an Elk County half section of pasture.  Still later, we used the equity in the pasture to buy the home where I am now living.

What reassured me in taking this chance was that my uncle who had just retired bought some acres on the south side of Winfield, turned it into a truck farm and lived the rest of his life happily doing something that he enjoyed.

My advice to you is, if there is something that you really want to do, do it.  If you have the money or the resources, go ahead.  What if you don't leave a fortune to posterity?  Posterity can do it the same way you did.

[dnalexander]

By the way I was speaking metaphorically about the car and young redhead. I need that like I need a hole in my head. Dee Gee I am seriously thinking about the cabin in the woods.

Diane do women have this same type of midlife crisis? I ask because when the boys and I are discussing this they look at us sweetly, smile, a little kiss on the cheek and say don't be silly. The boys and I don't think they actually get it fully. The little vacations don't really help anymore. It has to be a bigger change. Not many of them (the gals) are too keen on the idea of moving out to the little cabin in the woods for more than a few days. Right now I think one of the solutions is the boys and I have to make a big mental shift of some kind in our way of thinking. In the meantime we are planning out our airshow schedules and headed up to Tahoe to Camp Richardson to the little cabins on the lake. The gals don't mind them because it is not out in the boonies, but it feels like it. It is not the solution but it gives us a little time to figure out the solution. Right now you all are going to have to fix the world without me. I am turning off the tv, turning off the ringer on the phone, and staying away from any discussion of politics. I'll let you know what the boys and I figure out We are open to suggestions.

David

p.s.Wilma, the advice to find something you love and do it is great. Very popular with the boys.

[Catwoman]

David, repeat after me..."Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmm...Ohhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm..."    Assume the Lotus position and do some meditating...By the time the EMS people have you safely put in traction so that you'll outlive the Lotus position, your midlife crisis will be over with! lol

[pamsback]

  WowI am readin this with interest!  I thought I was the only one lol. I am havin the same crisis I think One career is over thru no fault of my own, my last chick is startin her last year of high school and I'm wonderin what the hell I'm gonna do with the rest of my life It ain't just the guys David..................
  I'm 49, I'm in good shape physically even with some extra weight, I figure I've got probly 30 good years left and I'm gonna make the most of em...just as soon as I figure out what the most is LOL  (think theres probly a hot rod truck in the mix somewhere ) Joe might balk at the red-head tho!

[sixdogsmom]

David, if you are taking a new med, check into it to find if depression is a side effect. It is an easy thing to check on the internet. I always checked on any new med that they gave to Ted. It is surprising how many doctors are unfamiliar with the side effects of new drugs. Most doctors now use that little electronic desk reference, and it is a good thing. If the med is not the problem then go with your heart. Women are not the only beings affcted with changing hormones as we grow older. Check on that also, it might be time for a really good checkup my friend. 

[dnalexander]

  WowI am readin this with interest!  I thought I was the only one lol. I am havin the same crisis I think One career is over thru no fault of my own, my last chick is startin her last year of high school and I'm wonderin what the hell I'm gonna do with the rest of my life It ain't just the guys David..................
  I'm 49, I'm in good shape physically even with some extra weight, I figure I've got probly 30 good years left and I'm gonna make the most of em...just as soon as I figure out what the most is LOL  (think theres probly a hot rod truck in the mix somewhere ) Joe might balk at the red-head tho!

Pam the boys just voted you into the club. That part about "just as soon as I figure it out" had them all shaking their heads in agreement. While I wont say "welcome to the club" it is nice to no you are not alone.

Now to the others because I really am going to try to stay off the internet

SDM- Done and done. Thanks for the medical advice.

Catwoman even though I am a Californian I will not be meditating in the lotus position going OOOOm. I will be meditating in my own way though.

Diane thanks for all your comments. We will have to have the "girls" pull the slots for you. Going to the Casino is exactly opposite of what I have in mind. Get away from people.

Thanks
David

[Ole Granny]

David,
Please enjoy your 50's but watch out for the 60's!  Always there are challenges which help keep our interest going.  Just believe you can do it and chances are you can.  My thought would be get the redhead, Ferrari and take her to the cabin!
Each day is a new challenge with different desires.  I remember my uncle thirty or so years ago walking across a dirt road to the church to attend a funeral.  He was struggling getting out of the car. We approached him offering assistants.  He let us hold on to him and as we made it to the other side, the thrill on his face was that of accomplishment.  The only words he could offer after the struggle crossing the uneven road was:  HOT DOG!!  

It is the little things!  Enjoy!

[larryJ]

David, mid life crisis is found in men more in a mental way instead of too much physical hormonal change that women go through. Some years ago, when I was 59, I was in the market for a new car.  My two children, read grown children, were secretly waging bets with each other and their mother that I would buy some sporty little car with two seats.  They were shocked when I bought a mini-van.  They asked why because this was not a mid life crisis decision that made sense to them.  I said I need something to haul grandpa's wheel chair in and when I go on a camping trip I want something that can haul all the stuff to the campground.  They laughed and said I was "out of it" and I didn't really need a van.  Two weeks later, my son wanted to borrow it to move some things for a friend.  I could have said no, remembering the derision he had when I bought the van, but I let him use it.  So, a mid life crisis is just a stage where like you said what happened to my hair and what do I want to do next to keep on keepin' on.  Wilma is right that you do what makes you happy.  I love being around my two granddaughters and just enjoying life while I can.  I don't remember now if I had a mid life crisis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Larryj