With Tongue In Cheek

[Judy Harder]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
>
> 1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone
> else to hold while you chop.
>
> 2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
> by using the shower.
>
> 3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
> bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
> Remember to use a timer.
>
> 4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
> you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
> snooze button.
>
> 5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
> you will be afraid to cough.
>
> 6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If
> it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn ' t move and
> does, use the duct tape.
>
>
> **Daily Thought:** SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY'RE NOT REALLY
> GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED
> DOWN THE STAIRS.

[Diane Amberg]

Oh, my stars, what a hoot ! Al would totally agree with the WD 40 and the Duct tape