Humorous Story / Funnies

[Teresa]

A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.

""I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.

""Wow! That's a great idea!" he excitedly exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted....

[Bonnie M.]

"Ain't love grand?"

[Diane Amberg]

Ah, yes, a reality check.

[Kermit]

LOL! Teresa, that is living proof that you are no longer a newlywed.

 

That was FUNNY!

[emptynest]

This is a good one!

I was in Wal-mart, buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, Schatzi, and was in line to check out.  The woman behind me asked if I had a dog......DUH!

I was feeling a bit crabby and a little frisky so on impulse, I told her no.  I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 lbs. before I'd awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.    Her eyes just about bulged out of her head.

I went on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.  I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load up your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you felt hungry. The package said the food was nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was now enthralled with my story,particularly the tall guy behind the woman.

Horrified, the woman asked me if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.  I said no..............I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my ass when a car hit me.

(P.S.   I thought the tall guy was going to need to be carried out the door.)

[Diane Amberg]

  You are one rare bird! 

[Kermit]

I love that story.

 

[Teresa]

[Diane Amberg]

 Mrs. Nest, what kind of dog is Schatzi?  My friend had a long haired dachshund with the same name.

[Judy Harder]

susan, that was a great story. You got a laugh from me and I
think I know the woman who bought the story.............Wonder if she tried it
anyway? Thanks for the giggle.............Hugs and God bless