Medical Questions

[Diane Amberg]

 Smokers?

[Kermit]

My dad didn't smoke much after WWII was over. I think he may have smoked as much as a pack a week sometimes. My mother, believe it or not, smoked four packs of cigarettes a day until a couple of months before she died of CHF. Whenever I think of that, I wonder how it is even possible to smoke 80 cigarettes in a day. She also had minor niggling heart problems throughout her life, growing worse as she got older.

Maybe she could have gotten through that, but she was also an active alcoholic practically up until the day she died. It is apparently a family problem on her side. Her father was an alcoholic. One of her brothers and her sister were alcoholics. My brother and my sister are active alcoholics. Every one of those managed(es) to get through each and every day with that problem, fulfilling most of their responsibilities. It is amazing to me. I am also extremely happy that whatever genes cause the problem of dependency missed me on the way by, the only one of the three of us kids it spared.

[Diane Amberg]

  Really tough.

[Kermit]

It was hard on her. My mother was a phenomenally intelligent woman, and in most ways very strong. I think she only gave in to alcohol after my Dad got back from the war and forbade her to work outside the home. I am very sure that she wanted to be someone on her own, someone more than a mother, and that situation broke her spirit. I am also very sure that she could have been someone on her own had she been allowed the opportunity. But that was not how things worked in 1946.

And I know it sounds a little bleak. My mom was an alcoholic. My dad was a workaholic. But, in truth, almost all of my memories of growing up are good ones. My dad worked a lot and I solved that problem by working with him when I could. My mom was sometimes not able to do all of the mom-ly things, so us kids all filled in. At the same time, I had my Uncle Max and my other uncle's wife, Leora, to take up some of the slack. Everybody worked together and everything got done.

Stuff goes wrong in life. It happens to everybody. I believe that the biggest mistake that happens is when people dwell on those things for the rest of their lives. All that does is make it worse. You have to deal with the bad things that come your way, then you have to get on with it. Anyway, that has worked for me.

[Diane Amberg]

 I agree.

[Teresa]

You have the right idea on that one Kermit.. and being someone who has had to deal with that all your life.. then you know what you are talking about.

You are not just talking the talk.. you have actually walked the walk.. so those are wise words to live by.
 We all could, at times, take heed..

[Jo McDonald]

I too agree with you, kermit.  Things come along on our paths of life that sometimes gets in our way of keeping things in a line for a while then we have to let go of them.  Things that are unkind to us manifest themselves after a while until they can become problems and get in our way of forgiving and forgetting.  I don't think any of us can "forget per se" but we sure can put it behind us and forgive.
  Thanks to both you and Diane for your fine answers to the medical questions.

[Kermit]

If all of us were able to put things behind us and go on with life, Teresa, what would Oprah and Jerry Springer talk about on their next show?

It also occurred to me a few minutes ago, while I was doing some Web design for a friend, that some or all of you must be wondering, "What the heck is that idiot frog doing posting all that stuff out here in the open?" That's a perfectly valid question, and like most other good questions, I'll try to answer it.

First, I did not write a word in these posts that I have not shared with all of the people involved; by now, they are used to me being bluntly honest. Second, when you have some things that you simply can't talk about, and I do, it somehow makes it easier to talk about everything else; odd but true. And third (and most importantly) it is possible that someone, somewhere, will look at what I wrote and take it to heart, thereby having an easier time of things in their life.

Besides, I would rather be here in this forum being open than sitting across from Doctor Phil being weird.

[Teresa]

But you might get paid if you were sitting by Dr Weird Phil. 

[Kermit]

Having now pondered that as an avenue of possible revenue, I do not think that the world of daytime television is ready for me. And, now that I say that, probably not cable, either.