Visit DRCD

Author Topic: Observations  (Read 43966 times)

Offline larryJ

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4759
    • View Profile
Re: Observations
« Reply #580 on: November 19, 2018, 01:16:43 pm »
A little rant maybe.......

Due to the fact that my oldest granddaughter has a travel softball game next weekend in Las Vegas we chose to have our family Thanksgiving yesterday.  It was the traditional Thanksgiving just not on the day that it was normally done on.  The gathering of my family was wonderful and the food was outstanding.  It was held at my daughter's house.  I sat in the living room with a view of the pool and in front of a wide screen huge TV and the game was on. 

Where is the rant you ask? Read the last sentence above.  I sat in the living room with a view of the pool and in front of a wide screen huge TV and the game is on.  What more can you ask.  In the recliner chair sat my son-in-law who (and this is my description of him) is a bump on a log.  He only speaks when spoken to and it has to be in a form of a question.  After a while my daughter-in-law (and this is my description of her) who is beautiful and very loving towards me came and sat by me while holding her five-year-old son who was asleep.  We held hands and talked about how things were going.  She is going next week to China to visit relatives.  She brought gluten free tamales just for me.  She kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me.  Then my grandson was waking and she left.  Right about that time my daughter came and sat just for a few minutes and left.  From then on everyone was in the kitchen/dining room talking and getting the food together and I was sitting there watching a game that I didn't really care about with a guy who doesn't talk.....for a long time.   Then my son brought me a plate of food and I ate all by myself while everyone else was in the dining room.

Here is the rant.  Nobody chose to share their meal with me.  Not even the bump on a log idiot son-in-law who didn't get up to eat.  For the whole four hours I was there none of my four grandchildren chose to acknowledge that I was in the house except for the oldest who removed my plate from the room.  Towards the end of the day my wife came and sat by me for a while and we talked about the family and the food and that we should think about heading for home.  Then my grandson with the prompting of his mother came and kissed me,  Forcing a child to do something like that is not the same as being a voluntary thing.  So I discount that as a genuine show of affection.  My two other granddaughters never said one word to me the entire time.  When my wife moved back to the dining room she announced that we were going to go.  With some help from my son I got up and moved to the dining room where they were talking about the road trips my son and I used to take back to Howard and other places.  He always kept a journal and he was reading from those.  Then we left

This is sad.  I like to think I didn't treat my grandmother that way when I was in Howard. Can't remember.  Is this the way grandparents should be treated?  Or am I being too sensitive?  Or maybe I should make the effort to be more involved despite my disabilities to move around.  Who knows.  The only saving grace here is I know that my family loves me and takes care of me even if they don't sit and talk to me all the time instead of to each other as a family should!

This is too long and probably doesn't need to be here but there it is.

Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Offline Dignified Redneck

  • Forum Member
  • **
  • Posts: 24
    • View Profile
Re: Observations
« Reply #581 on: November 20, 2018, 02:14:52 pm »
Well, there are two sides to this coin (argument). I agree that your children and grandchildren should have been more attentive to your presence. However, may I suggest that you ask to have a seat at the table with the rest of the family for the next family gathering (No matter how much of a burden you feel your asking for help to move in there would be, they will be happy to help you). I bet you will find they will be happy to have you there to join the conversation. Speaking for myself as a hostess with a lot on my mind, I don't usually think of that kind of stuff until too late. My thoughtful husband usually points these missed points and takes care of them for me. As always, love to read your posts and rants! Wish we were closer so we could visit in person. Love, Deb
Age & treachery will outlast youth & skill any time !!!!!!!!!!

Offline larryJ

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4759
    • View Profile
Re: Observations
« Reply #582 on: November 20, 2018, 07:42:53 pm »
You are correct as usual.  I could have made more of an effort.  When I came in I plopped where they wanted me to sit.  Of course, they felt I would rather watch the game.  On the other side of this coin they could have come into my area to chat.

No big deal.

I too wish we were closer so we could see one another.  Did you notice in the obits that Robert Evans passed?  He was married to Wanda Henderson.  Wanda is my second cousin.  Her father was Raymond Henderson son of Suda Mattie Henderson who was a sister to Edith Andrews my grandmother and Bill Redmond's grandmother.  She would be your second cousin one generation removed.

Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Offline larryJ

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4759
    • View Profile
Re: Observations
« Reply #583 on: November 30, 2018, 12:19:59 pm »
This is not terribly exciting not even newsworthy but it is a good story and I wanted to share.

As previously mentioned we do not get a lot of rain in SoCal.  Our rainy season begins around November and ends in March or April.  January and February are the wettest months.  And again it is more of a soft rain.  Since we have had those big fires this month there is concern for mudslides in those areas. 

However, Wednesday evening we got a big storm and lots of rain....
And lightning......rare.  With thunder.  This almost never happens here.

Enter the new dog now six months old who has never experienced rain with lightning and thunder.  I am watching TV and all of a sudden a big flash of lightning followed by a large clap of thunder.  The poor dog went beserk charging through the house barking and trying to find the cause of such a noise or a hiding place.  My wife was sitting next to me in her wheelchair and with the second loud thunder he began to hide under her chair.  It was really raining hard.  More thunder.  Then the poor clueless dog decided to run out the doggie door to either find the source of all this noise or maybe a safer place to hide.  He got soaked.  He is a cocker spaniel and they are supposed to be "water dogs" and he didn't seem to be bothered by being wet.

Funny.

On the downside we have satellite service for our TV and storms such as this one sometimes disrupt the reception.  There was a really good movie on and three times the service went out for a few minutes.  However we got to watch the dog going bananas.

Larryj
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 12:23:00 pm by larryJ »
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Offline larryJ

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4759
    • View Profile
Re: Observations
« Reply #584 on: Today at 01:15:09 pm »
More reflections on being a grandparent..........

Over the weekend my wife, daughter and oldest granddaughter went shopping for my granddaughter's birthday which is today.  She turned 14.  They did some Christmas shopping also.  On Friday my son and daughter-in-law dropped off their children so that they could attend a Christmas party out of town.  My daughter picked them up after work and my son came back on Saturday to get them.  My son and his wife had come to our house on Friday in two cars and they left one here while they went to their party. 

I remained in my chair binging on TV and the computer.

So I had a brief meeting with my son when they left the kids who went into another room to play.  Then my daughter picked them up giving me a brief goodbye.  Saturday morning my wife went outside to wait for my daughter for their shopping trip.  My daughter did not come in.  After the shopping was done my wife was dropped off.  My daughter did not come in.  Meanwhile, my son and daughter-in-law texted to say they were going to swing by to get the car they left but were in a big hurry because they had to be someplace shortly so they weren't going to come in.  Remember my wife is out shopping at this point.  On Sunday more shopping a repeat of Saturday with my wife going outside to wait and a repeat of being dropped off except my daughter did help her carry some things in but then left.  My granddaughter was with them both days but never came in the house.  This is all very sad.

I remained in my chair binging on TV and the computer.

Wait!  I got it.  It has to be me.  They don't want to come in to see me!  They have no problem with leaving their children with me to care for and no problem leaving their car in my driveway.  There is plenty of room.  My daughter doesn't have to come in because she just saw me the day before.

Wait!  I am just being paranoid.

No, it's gotta be me.

Oh well I am just going to remain in my chair and binge watch TV and play on my computer.  When and if they do come through my front door I will be happy to see them.

Lol
Larryj
« Last Edit: Today at 01:31:51 pm by larryJ »
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Offline larryJ

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4759
    • View Profile
Re: Observations
« Reply #585 on: Today at 01:29:16 pm »
And more.....

I just flashed back to an earlier memory of my grandmother Edith Andrews.  I don't know or never heard any specific reason for this.  At some point my grandmother had a falling out with her youngest son and they were estranged for the rest of her life.  He lived in Wichita and had four children, my first cousins.  These children grew up not  knowing their grandmother.

A few years ago there was a cousins reunion that I organized in Colorado Springs.  One of those children came to this reunion.  I had not seem her since she was a young girl.  After the formal get-together we all met back in her room at the motel and the first thing she asked was what was our grandmother like.  Many of us spontaneously said..........

Chocolate cake!!!!!!!

Anytime she heard one or more of her grandchildren were coming for a visit she would bake a cake.

It's funny that she would be remembered for her chocolate cakes.

Larryj
HELP!  I'm talking and I can't shut up!

I came...  I saw...  I had NO idea what was going on...

Visit DRCD