Gumshoe for Hire (Arcey's Detective Agency)

[Sod Buster]

I always wondered if "Fleet" ennermas wern't made fer the Navy.

Naw....they just hold so much fluid they could float a fleet (of ships).

[Delmonico]

Arcey if ya looked at my arms and didn't know better you would think I'm a junkie.   The last regular blood draw took 3 tries to hit blood.

[Arcey]

Hate that ya suffer that, Del.  Fer real.

The city made us do a physical once ah year.  Had young healthy guys havin' problems every year with 'em missin' the mark.  The wifes had 'em miss several times.

Reckon I've been lucky.  Even bein' pretty healthy so far, for one reason or another they've been drainin' me about once a year since I was fifteen 'n went in the Cadet Program.  That was back in '68 when they (Public Health did the police physicals) used a needle whut looked like sumthin' you'd air up a football with 'n they had the plungers in 'em so the flo-bologist kept movin' the things around the whole time they had ya stuck.

This lab my Doc's practice has uses needles so sharp 'n fine ya really don't feel much at all.  Looked this mornin' 'n I can't see a pucture.  I still gottah mark from one done in the old days.

Whut I don't get.....  I got good plumbin' 'n the hose jumps right up for 'em.  Go in the horsepistol for surgery.  Where did they start the IV? In the back of my freakin' hand.  They hit it with xylocaine first.  Kindah like stickin' yer hand in a glove with a hornet in it.  Hurt like a sumbitch.........

[Delmonico]

My plumbin' ain't really that bad but when they send me to the horse pistol I'm always dehydrated and the meds tear up the veins quick.  When they start havin' problems the put in a central line and they can put in and take out and it slides in to a large vein above yer heart.  Bad thing is they have to schedual it durin' the day.  Don't do ya no good at 6pm.

But it wouldn't be no fun not ta torment ya a bit.

[Four-Eyed Buck]

Del, they're just gettin' back at ya fer all those remarks about their food!.......

[Delmonico]

What food, they don't ever feed me much in there, have went a week or more with out so much as a bowl of broth, cup of coffee or even a drink of water.  And no they won't put coffee in an IV. 

Hey Arcey, that 'minds me, next time tell them ya want to try out a NG tube, them is loads a fun.   One could put coffee in on of them.

[Arcey]

Thankee, naw.  Talk about the ultimate booger......

[Delmonico]

I'm going to be serious here for a bit.  When our Dear Departed Friend Annie Lee knew there was something wrong she had to go through a lot of the same tests I have had many time over the last 40 years.  We did a lot of talking in PM's and on the phone.  I was able to tell her what was going to happen in human terms from someone who has been there.  If anyone of you dear friends find yourself having to go through the Gasto/Intestinal series of testing and you need to talk to someone who's been there, let me know, you can have my phone nunber if you don't already have it.

Annie and many others of you were there for me when I was stuck at home and kept me going with Tall Tales and were there when I was bored in the hospital with nothing but my cell phone.  You all will be there I'm sure when it happens again.  I will be glad to return the favor if you need me.

Delmonico aka Glen Caramn

[Silver Creek Slim]

That's what friends are for, Del. 

Slim

[Forty Rod]

Del, I don't care what the rest of these jabronies say about you behind your back, you're okay in my book.

[Delmonico]

Heck I started most of those rumors.

[Camille Eonich]

Camille walks off wiping the dust out of her eyes, muttering and shakin' her head.

[Four-Eyed Buck]

Anytime, Del. You call, I'll talk..........

[Marshal harpoluke]

My Dad died of cancer, it often happens to 'Nuclar' piolets.

If'in Ya send me an E-mule I'lll send You Ma # or You can send it to Me.  We can talk.

[Lucky Irish Tom]

We've already talked a couple of times Del and its always a pleasure.  Being in the hospital aint fun, but it does help to have friends that care.  Arcey visited me when they replaced my knee, was the high point of my day.  Del, Slim, Stoney, and Arcey all got my number, and I have theirs anyone else wants it just let me know.  Id rather converse with my pards from this forum than most of the business foks I run with on a daily basis.

[Top Dawg]

<-------- pads into Arcey's office woofs and dropped the slobbered up note that litlrooster put in his mouth on the floor in front of Archey's desk.

[Arcey]

<----watches the stinkin’ dog trot off.  Picks up the paper with a pair of hemostats, reads the message ‘n shakes ‘is head.  Holds the corner of the note to ah candle flame (PC shredder) then rinses the ‘stats in whiskey.

Scratches out a short note.  Ties it ta a jumbo bottle rocket.  Aims it carefully it litl Roostahville ‘n torches it off………………

[litl rooster]

After a Redwhiteandblueshower of sparks fades away, a small parachute gently drops a new note to the detective.

 Arcey,

   Meet me with evidence, before the "coosie" returns>you know he's a trouble maker<watch for his green light... I've got plenty of Silver coins.
  Sorry about the Dawg, you know how pesty them gubermint employees are in trying to help

lr

[Arcey]

First thing 'e did wuz barge inta yer place 'n complain 'bout the size.  Comes inta my place 'n pees............

Contact ya in private fer a sneek peek.............

[Top Dawg]

First thing 'e did wuz barge inta yer place 'n complain 'bout the size.  Comes inta my place 'n pees............

      woof,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, didn't want to get lost

[Delmonico]

Note from Hooters Corp. CEO


Arcey, we may need you to investigate harrasment on legal deliveries to the Hooters now located in Silver Creek Slim County.  If you can get anything slimy on the County Commisioner, Silver Creek Slim, there will be a big bonus for you.

[Arcey]

Need some expense money up front................

[Delmonico]

Arcey goes out to his truck and there are two Hooters girls in the cab.   And $1000 dollars cash, in unmarked, used bills.

[Arcey]

<----hands Del a deposit ticket filled in fer real money.

I'll be checkin' the balance.......

[Trinity]

<<Author's note:  Whatever happened to Top Dawg?>>