South from Dodge

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Where is that Gopher Grease guy? Since, Delmonico has been gone I ain't et. I ain't gonna touch a can 'o beans, cuz I can't figger how ta git it out of the fire without burn'n my paws. I am about ready to eat that hump roast raw."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"I hope Delmonico picks up a scattergun of Fort Sill. I have a hankering for roasted goose and/or turkey." "My Pa was stationed at Fort Sill for awhile. The chiggers really liked him while he was there." "Well, since I ain't gonna get anything to eat I might as well go shoot some buff." Slim saddles his horse, grabs his Sharps and a couple boxes of cartridges, and rides toward the buffalo herd.

[Trinity]

Trinity wakes with a heavy head and lets out a huge yawn.  He rises and looks around and is surprised to find himself inside Delmonico's tent and it smells bad!.  "Ewwww, Gross!"  He notices that the floor... and he himself is covered in bile.  It looks like he had gotten so drunk the night before that he must have barfed all night long.  Peppered on top of the gross slime are dozens of dead bees.  "Oh no!  Martha's bees!  Oh well, no more fresh Honey.  Ah guess they couldn't handle the stench... and neither can Ah, Ah gotta get outta here!"

He emerges from the tent and looks at the fire.  "Where's the food?  What did Ah drink last night???  Seeing the can of beans, Trinity becomes excited and grabs the can right off the fire and starts eating.  "Slim is always worried 'bout gettin burnt, but mah hunger is stronger than fahr and Ah looooooooove beans!"

Next Trinity goes over to the oven near the wagon where Gophergrease hid the cake.  He is very excited to find that no one has had any yet and begins to eat.  Before he realizes, he has eaten almost all of it!  "Oh oh.  Ah'll jest crumble this here last piece and throw it back in the oven and make these little racoon tracks... There!  Everbody will think that a 'coon et it."

"Ah wonder where everbody is.  Ahm gonna grab mah Sharps an mah scattergun an look fer them."  Trinity mounts his horse and rides off, but not before grabbing a bottle first.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico enters Texas and the South of Dodge Thread.

"I wonder if Trinity has drug that bottle of whiskey that I put the casor oil in.  Should a brought him a fresh pair a drawers from Fort Sill, hope the Comanches don't catch him with his pants down."

[Delmonico]

Ridin along Delmonico sees two sets of tracks leadin' southeast inta the Indian Territory.  Wondering he gets down and examines them.  One is frsh and one is a few days old, the old ones are mule tracks, his mule.  Studying the other one he realizes it is Trinity's. 

Delmonico is wondering why Trinity is following him, is there an emergency at camp?  couse Trinity might just be drunk again and wondering about, either way he must follow him and find out why. 

So once again Delmonico heads inta the Nations and into the Fort Sill thread.

[Delmonico]

Back about 5 miles south of camp earlier in the day, Slim shot 8 buffalo with his 40 catridges (2 boxes) out of ammunition he is quickly captured by Comanche's and not havin' no strychnine to poisin himself with, Slim is now in quite a fix. 

They take him to the only tree away from the river and hang him upside down from it.  Then they realize there is no dry wood under the tree, so they go out ta fetch dry buffalo poop ta use ta build a fire under Slim ta slowly roast his brains.

So now we wonder what will happen ta Slim?  Will he be able to log on in time in the morning ta save himself or will I drink to much coffee, be unable ta sleep and come back down and log one and start a fire of buffalo poop under his head,  Bet he wishes he would have paid more atention and got some strychnine.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Them Comanches weren't the brightest candles on the tree, they didn't tie Slim's hands. So, while the Comanches were off gathering Buff chips, Slim used his hideout knife to cut himself out of the tree. (No, I am not gonna tell ya where he keeps the knife.) Slim falls from the tree with a thud and knocks the wind out of himself. (No, it wasn't from beans. Remember he didn't eat the beans.) He slowly gets to his feet, puts his boots on, mounts his horse, and spurs his horse toward camp. He looks over his shoulder to see the Comanches running to their horses.

[Delmonico]

Delmonico and Trinity ride inta camp, no one is there but Slim and he is hidding behind all the boxes and bags in camp with his Sharp's and lots of catridges.

"What is goin' on here says Delmonico/"

[Silver Creek Slim]

"The Comanches are after me. They hung me upside down from a tree and were going to roast my brain. But, I escaped and they were chasing me."

[Delmonico]

Just then Trinity gets a funny look on his face and a rumbling sound comes from his middle, he runs down ta the river.    Delmonico says, "Ooops I fergot I put castor oil in his whiskey.  I hope the Indians don't catch him with his pants down.  But I hope he gets them down in time."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Ya think the Comanches will attack us?"

[Delmonico]

Suddenly strange noises come from the river.  "Pffflllaaaaattttt."

A large flock of Comanches' head south-east with their ponies at a dead run.

"Nope Slim, I think we are safe looks like they're gonin' back ta Fort Sill, we'll be safe cause they'll be in the other thread."  Looks like Tinity saved us>  But be sure ta get water from upstream."

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Well that's good. Can we get the sauerbraten cook'n? I ain't et in a couple of days. Or do we need them cookies that Gopher Grease has not made yet?"

[Delmonico]

I bought some in Fort Sill, I'll sear the roast in some lard, you remove the peppercords and the bay leaf from the marinate.  When the roast is seared we'll add the marinate and simmer it for 2-3 hours or until it is tender.  We'll then use the gringersnap cookies ta make the gravy, would you also crush them please.  

If ya peel some tators we'll have boiled tators ta put the gravy over.  I'd ask Trinity ta help but I'm not sure his hands are clean.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Sure I might be able to do that for you. Where is the roast, cookies, and taters?"

[Delmonico]

The cookies are in my saddle bags, you wear hidin' from the Indians behind my crock and ya was usin' the sack of tators as a rifle rest.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim runs over, grabs the saddle bags, and does a great impersonation of the Cookie Monster.
"Cookies!" 

[Delmonico]

Not that great a onebut, "slim make sure I got about a dozen and a half, looks like there be that much liquid, sorry with the Indian scare I didn't have time ta make pumpernickel bread.

[Silver Creek Slim]

"Tar mi be a don an hav lef." After Slim has had his fill of ginger snaps. He takes the peppercorns and the bay leaf from the marinate. He, then peels some tators. He gets his bed roll, lays it out next to the fire, and decides to take a nap. The expedition with the injuns done tuckered him out.

[Trinity]

Trinity drags back from the river "Damn!  That were the worst blowout ever!"  He goes over to his bed roll.  As he passes Slim and Delmonico they cringe from the stench and notice a large brown stain in the seat of Trinity's pants!  Trinity fishes a second pair of pants and a second pair of drawers out of his pack and heads back to the river with a shovel.

Later, Trinity returns in his... well, they aint new and they don't look clean, but at least they dont smell like $#!t duds.  "Ah'm goin back to town.  Whenever Ah drink in the saloon, Ah don get sick.  It's almost like someone playin a joke on me!  'Sides, that derned Saurbraten is takin toooo long!  Ah'll be back after Ah've had a gooood and legal drunk, like the first time we met!

Trinity straps on his gunbelt and mounts his horse and heads to town.  "Mebbe Ah'll see the Sarge" he shouts over his shoulder.

[Delmonico]

He must be just too busy ta come over here.  I've seen him over on TFS when I've drifted over there.

[Trinity]

As Trinity trots in the direction of town (he hopes) he begins to nod.  He jerks his head up and shakes it in the effort to wake himself when he notices a familiar set of wagons rolling his way.

OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"They got clean likker... mebbe not other things, but the Doc is far away an cant do me no harm!!!"

[Delmonico]

What Delmonico fergot ta mention is that Gopher Grease most likely knows more'n any "Old West" doctor cause he was a Navy Corpman.  And he probbally be meaner than Doc Stone cause he was a Navy Corpman fer the Marines.

Don't do it Trinity, if ya come back diseased Gopher Grease gonna cut it off with a parin' knife.

[Silver Creek Slim]

Slim rides into camp with a turkey tied to the horn. "What's fer breakfast? Here is a turkey for supper. I didn't see any Comanches around this morning, but they are probably lying in wait to roast my brain."

[Delmonico]

Yer safe, check the Fort Sill thread, they went back ta the Reservation.