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Cas City Forum Hall & CAS-L  |  GENERAL TOPICS  |  Tall Tales (Moderator: Silver Creek Slim)  |  Topic: Don't mess with old Folks 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Don't mess with old Folks  (Read 3241 times)
Dakota Dan from OZ
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The Legend Lives On


« on: September 18, 2008, 12:57:26 am »




An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never did dance. I just never wanted to.'
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, 'Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospctor was hopping around and everybody was laughing. When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound. The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet. The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the shotgun.
The old man asked, 'Did you ever kiss a mule's ass?'
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, 'No. But I've always wanted to.'




The lessons from this story are:
1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old people.


Dakota  Cool


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« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2008, 04:56:48 am »

Well said Dakota.
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Leo Tanner
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« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2008, 01:20:05 pm »

There is an old saying I kinda remeber went, "Youth and quickness will always be overcome by old age and treatchery".  I may have it a little wrong, but it's close.   Cheesy


Leo
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"When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."
     Tuco--The Good the Bad and the Ugly

"First comes smiles, then lies.  Last is gunfire."
     Roland Deschain

"Every man steps in the manure now an again, trick is not ta stick yer foot in yer mouth afterward"

religio SENIOR est exordium of scientia : tamen fossor contemno sapientia quod instruction.


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« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2008, 01:21:45 pm »

Old age and trickery wins every time.
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« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2008, 01:45:05 pm »

That's why all my friends have mostly been older than me.  I just always got along with em better.  Learned alot too.


Leo
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"When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."
     Tuco--The Good the Bad and the Ugly

"First comes smiles, then lies.  Last is gunfire."
     Roland Deschain

"Every man steps in the manure now an again, trick is not ta stick yer foot in yer mouth afterward"

religio SENIOR est exordium of scientia : tamen fossor contemno sapientia quod instruction.


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« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2008, 05:43:05 pm »

Being a street cop requires you to be able to think on your feet. Over the years, I have had folks point firearms at me, pull knives on me and threaten my life. When you're young in this business, you think you're ten feet tall and bulletproof. As you get older, your instincts get "honed" to the point of being able to sense things before they happen. You do what it takes to come home each night. If these folks know you mean business and will do what it takes to remedy the situation, you can come home at night. I have had more than one say "Man, you're crazy ". I think that maybe they're right sometimes.
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   Col.  CAF  NRA  TSRA   BOA  Dooley Gang  BOPP  ROWSS  Scarlet Mask Vigilance Society  Cow Cracker Cavalry   Berger Sharpshooters "I had no Irons in the Fire". "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"?
Leo Tanner
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« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2008, 06:03:55 pm »

A gun never looks so big til yer starrin down the barrel.  'Specialy when the guy pointin it at ya has shakey hands.
     I'm nowhere near yer level, but I understand the "sense things before they happen" comment.  You aint crazy at all Tex, just special in that you can stand in ugly situations.  Lotta folks don't have that.


Leo
     
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"When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."
     Tuco--The Good the Bad and the Ugly

"First comes smiles, then lies.  Last is gunfire."
     Roland Deschain

"Every man steps in the manure now an again, trick is not ta stick yer foot in yer mouth afterward"

religio SENIOR est exordium of scientia : tamen fossor contemno sapientia quod instruction.


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" We're all Here because We're not all There".


« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2008, 06:27:51 pm »

I've had them tell me, " I think you really would shoot me" and I guess if it meant them or me, It would definitely be them.
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   Col.  CAF  NRA  TSRA   BOA  Dooley Gang  BOPP  ROWSS  Scarlet Mask Vigilance Society  Cow Cracker Cavalry   Berger Sharpshooters "I had no Irons in the Fire". "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"?
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my granddad on his mule around 1907


« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2008, 09:48:39 pm »

I always thought of the words to a song,   "If you wanta make a living ya gotta put on a good show"  no matter how I felt about a situation I'd get into when I was chasing down the bail jumpers,  I knew when it came down to it, you gotta make the other guy think you'd kill him and eat his heart if he didn't do what ya want.   it could be hard but no other choice available.  it could be deadly serious if you didn't.
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We done it for Dixie,  nothing else

"I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved."
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« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2008, 05:33:38 am »

OT, I've been thinkin' about maybe doin' some of that after I retire.
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   Col.  CAF  NRA  TSRA   BOA  Dooley Gang  BOPP  ROWSS  Scarlet Mask Vigilance Society  Cow Cracker Cavalry   Berger Sharpshooters "I had no Irons in the Fire". "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"?
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my granddad on his mule around 1907


« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2008, 06:19:30 am »

 Grin  some of the most hair raising good times I've ever had have been tracking somebody down and getting em back to jail.  it's different than being law enforcement, wasn't as many restrictions back when I was doing it.  after they signed the bail contracts you almost owned em,  Oklahoma at the time I was a Bailbonds man operated on a Bail law that was written in 1875 and pretty much gave you the right to do anything to get em back.
you'd probably enjoy it.
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We done it for Dixie,  nothing else

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« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2008, 07:26:49 am »

OT, If I got good enough, I could have my own TV show.   
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   Col.  CAF  NRA  TSRA   BOA  Dooley Gang  BOPP  ROWSS  Scarlet Mask Vigilance Society  Cow Cracker Cavalry   Berger Sharpshooters "I had no Irons in the Fire". "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"?
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« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2008, 10:30:53 am »

Pard of mine ‘n I had a good off duty, part time gig bounty huntin’. Could get away with a lot more doin’ that than when we were werkin’ for the city. We weren’t the only ones doin’ it.

My Daddy was PO’ed at me once when I showed up where he was werkin’ ta snatch up one of his mechanics. Sat ‘n waited ‘til quittin’ time, then I got ‘im. He was werth $50.00 ‘n when ya were makin’ $512.00 a month that was good money.

Old man never cared for cops, me included half the time.

City decided it weren’t professional ‘n told us ta cut it out.
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" We're all Here because We're not all There".


« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2008, 12:23:23 pm »

I have told them young guys how little we made back then. I remember when I got a raise from 505 to 530. I had a 71 Caprice and the payments were $68.71 a month.
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   Col.  CAF  NRA  TSRA   BOA  Dooley Gang  BOPP  ROWSS  Scarlet Mask Vigilance Society  Cow Cracker Cavalry   Berger Sharpshooters "I had no Irons in the Fire". "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"?
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« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2008, 01:41:49 pm »

Note: this is in no way intended to insult any current or past law officers, it is just a true story and it all works out in the end.

     I was living in Fremont and had started writing articles fer magazines.  Editor of one of called me an said I was gonna be published.  There was only one place in town that carried the magazine.  Release day comes so I putt off ta the mini mall where the store was located.  Grab as many copies of the rag as I could afford along with a six pack.
     Now it gets wierd.  I got two brown paper bags in my hands, one with the mags and the other with the beer.  Walk out the door of the place and suddenly have a young cop pointing a gun in my face.  His hands were shaking.  he says fer me ta lay down face first on the asfault.  It was 105 degrees out and the asfault was melting, so I just dropped the bags and put my hands up.  I could hear the squawk boxes from the patrol cars giving a description of a perp that didn't fit me at all.  Differnt clothes, differnt race, differnt store. 
     Young guy keeps shouting at me ta lay down with that wobbly gun in his hands an I would have but a little voice in my head says , "no, that ground's gonna burn like hell".  Other little voice says, "this guy's gonna shoot ya"
     We both just stood there frozen like that fer what seemed like ferever.  Then an older cop came up and put his arm VERY GENTLY around the rookies shoulders and said, "this isn't him, let him go".  The young guy looked so rattled that I didn't obey that I thought he was gonna shoot me anyway.  He reholstered and the older guy gave me an appology.  I told him no biggie, I just wanted ta get home.  He watched me go ta my vehicle which happened ta be an old police motorcycle.  The article I had written for the mags I had just bought was about old police motorcyles. 
     He took a minute ta talk ta me about it, and you could see he was a great guy who'd been around the block a few times.  I thanked him fer savin my ass an how it was just too hot ta lay on the blacktop.  He said, "hell, I wouldna done it either". 
     I'll never ferget his face God bless him.


Leo 
     
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"When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."
     Tuco--The Good the Bad and the Ugly

"First comes smiles, then lies.  Last is gunfire."
     Roland Deschain

"Every man steps in the manure now an again, trick is not ta stick yer foot in yer mouth afterward"

religio SENIOR est exordium of scientia : tamen fossor contemno sapientia quod instruction.


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" We're all Here because We're not all There".


« Reply #15 on: September 20, 2008, 02:21:17 am »

There's nothin' more dangerous than a scared rookie cop with his weapon drawn.
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   Col.  CAF  NRA  TSRA   BOA  Dooley Gang  BOPP  ROWSS  Scarlet Mask Vigilance Society  Cow Cracker Cavalry   Berger Sharpshooters "I had no Irons in the Fire". "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"?
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