Leo's Poetry Pit

[Leo Tanner]

Leo, EoT this year was June 14-22, I expect most folks were back by last weekend.

I was talking entrants, not audience.  The general concensus was that after traveling back from New Mexico, most folks and there mounts wanted a break.  The event at the same arena in June had 40 entrants and I missed it.  This time there were about 15.  Still a good time though.


Leo

[Tensleep]

There were only 67 mounted entrants at EoT this year.

I expect the weather and smoke had more to do with low attendance than EoT.

[kid sheleen]

A tall handsome stranger rode into town
With fire in his eyes burning red as sundown
His boots were all dusty, his coat open wide
Six ways of dying hung low on his side

He went in the town hall asking for me
They told him that I was still town deputy
I sent him to prison to pay for his crime
He killed a guard on the Sante Fe line

He spread word around town that my time had come
My notch was already carved on his gun
He's laughing and braggin and having his fun
It's all a show for he knows I won't run

That night in silence the town was asleep
I sat by my window and looked down the street
I wished in my heart that he would just ride away
I hated to face him next sunup that day

I met him at sunup, the crowd gathered round
Waitin and watching for one to go down
He grabbed for his six gun, tryin his best
He cursed as my bullet went deep in his chest

He stood there a moment and looked all around
Slowly and lifeless he fell to the ground
The stranger's my brother, born an outlaw
He must have forgotton I taught him to draw

The whole town was waiting and I was alone
The blood that I spilled was just like my own
When she hears this story, how Mother will cry
Brother 'gainst brother and one had to die

[Advertising]

[Leo Tanner]

Talk about a plot twist.
     Thanks fer comin around here kid, I love this stuff


Leo

[Delmonico]

OK Leo, dug up the one I promised:

Cookin' ain't no easy job
If anyone should ask
And cookin' for a cowboy crew
Is a down right thankless task.

"The grub is cold," the boys will say
Or else "there's to much salt
Any blame to pass around
You can bet it's my fault.

The eggs get broke, the biscuits burn
The griddle won't get hot
Try bakin' apple pie sometime
When apples you ain't got.

One day I fixed some French cusine
With fancy wine and such
The boys all held their guts and moaned
They didn't like it much.

The boss he held his plate alof
As if he fished it from a sewer
The boys described my gourmet meal
With a word that means manure.

They hurt my pride the cowboys did
I almost walked away
But then again revenge is sweet
There'd be another day.

The answer finally came to me
In the middle of a drunk
I'd make those ignorant cowboys pay
I'd feed them all a skunk.

So I found an old dead polecat
Layin' in the road
I boiled him up that afternoon
Along with a horny toad.

I pile their plate high that night
But much to my surprise
Them heathens ate it up
I could not believe my eye's.

I started to tell them all
It was just a joke
But they were all belchin' contentedly
And rared back for a smoke.

"Cookie" they said gleefully
"You finally learned to cook
Can I have that recipe
Did you get it from a book."

Them cowboys had no idea
And I ain't told them yet
They were feastin' on some critters
That ought not be et.

Yep, cookin' is a real tough job
It ain't no easy life
And if my food you just can't eat
Be glad I ain't yer wife.

[kid sheleen]

 ;DAnother good one Del!

Yeah, Leo, I like it too.  My mother was an english teacher and a published poet, and my father was a preacher back when sermons were "Three Points and a Poem".  Half the library at our house was poetry.  So you see,  I didn't have a chance.  And just so you know, all the things they say about preachers kids are absolutely true.

[Leo Tanner]

Read that poem aloud ta Lil, Del.  We both cracked up at the end

     Kid, I've heard about preacher's children, bust mostly just the daughters


Leo

[kid sheleen]

Leo,  You know why preachers kids are so bad?  'Cause they're only allowed to play with the deacon's children!

OUTHOUSING
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Fred had gone to the outhouse.
He'd been there for quite some time.
Now and then I heard a moan and groan,
And I knew that the moment was prime.

In these mountains of Montana
There are black and grizzly bear,
Coyotes, pumas, and wolverines;
Plus moose in rut can give a scare.

It was already dark, I dressed in black.
I took a stick and began to dig,
Making rootin' noises outside the door
While snortin' like a pig.

Then like a creature with sharp claws,
I scratched on the outhouse wood.
Not a sound was heard within.
I knew I was gettin' him good.

Then I shook that little building
With all the strength that I could muster.
Fred hollered, "Hey, get out of here."
I thought, 'This will fix you, Buster!'

For all the pranks Fred's played on me,
I was evenin' up the score.
I started banging on the walls.
My goodness, how he swore.

Then scratching most ferociously,
I let loose my fiercest growl.
I heard splats plopping in the depths,
Toilet paper rolling on the dowel.

Scared the you know what out of him
I kind of let out a snicker.
I knew I'd given myself away.
He yelled, "Gal, if that ain't the kicker!"

He stormed from that one holer.
Oh, I feared his consternation.
"Gal, I'd be madder than heck,
But you cured my constipation."

[Ozark Tracker]

Leo,  You know why preachers kids are so bad?  'Cause they're only allowed to play with the deacon's children!

    kid ya may be right, ma dad was a deacon. 

[Leo Tanner]

Love the cowboy stuff but gotta throw in a clasic.
     Hadn't read this in years til taday.  Think it's the first time I unnerstood what ole Wad was tryin ta say

It was the schooner Hesperus,
That sailed the wintery sea;
And the skipper had taken his little daughter,
To bear him company.

Blue were her eyes as the fairy flax,
Her cheeks like the dawn of day,
And her bosom white as the hawthorn buds,
That ope in the month of May.

The Skipper he stood beside the helm,
His pipe was in his mouth,
And he watched how the veering flaw did blow
The smoke now West, now South.

Then up and spake an old Sailor,
Had sailed the Spanish Main,
"I pray thee, put into yonder port,
for I fear a hurricane.

"Last night the moon had a golden ring,
And to-night no moon we see!"
The skipper, he blew whiff from his pipe,
And a scornful laugh laughed he.

Colder and louder blew the wind,
A gale from the Northeast,
The snow fell hissing in the brine,
And the billows frothed like yeast.

Down came the storm, and smote amain
The vessel in its strength;
She shuddered and paused, like a frighted steed,
Then leaped her cable's length.

"Come hither! come hither! my little daughter,
And do not tremble so;
For I can weather the roughest gale
That ever wind did blow."

He wrapped her warm in his seaman's coat
Against the stinging blast;
He cut a rope from a broken spar,
And bound her to the mast.

"O father! I hear the church bells ring,
Oh, say, what may it be?"
"Tis a fog-bell on a rock bound coast!" --
And he steered for the open sea.

"O father! I hear the sound of guns;
Oh, say, what may it be?"
Some ship in distress, that cannot live
In such an angry sea!"

"O father! I see a gleaming light.
Oh say, what may it be?"
But the father answered never a word,
A frozen corpse was he.

Lashed to the helm, all stiff and stark,
With his face turned to the skies,
The lantern gleamed through the gleaming snow
On his fixed and glassy eyes.

Then the maiden clasped her hands and prayed
That saved she might be;
And she thought of Christ, who stilled the wave,
On the Lake of Galilee.

And fast through the midnight dark and drear,
Through the whistling sleet and snow,
Like a sheeted ghost, the vessel swept
Tow'rds the reef of Norman's Woe.

And ever the fitful gusts between
A sound came from the land;
It was the sound of the trampling surf,
On the rocks and hard sea-sand.

The breakers were right beneath her bows,
She drifted a dreary wreck,
And a whooping billow swept the crew
Like icicles from her deck.

She struck where the white and fleecy waves
Looked soft as carded wool,
But the cruel rocks, they gored her side
Like the horns of an angry bull.

Her rattling shrouds, all sheathed in ice,
With the masts went by the board;
Like a vessel of glass, she stove and sank,
Ho! ho! the breakers roared!

At daybreak, on the bleak sea-beach,
A fisherman stood aghast,
To see the form of a maiden fair,
Lashed close to a drifting mast.

The salt sea was frozen on her breast,
The salt tears in her eyes;
And he saw her hair, like the brown sea-weed,
On the billows fall and rise.

Such was the wreck of the Hesperus,
In the midnight and the snow!
Christ save us all from a death like this,
On the reef of Norman's Woe!

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

[Texas Lawdog]

Del, I really enjoyed the poem about the cowboy cook.

[Russ T Chambers]

 
A friend of mine who is a Cowboy Poet work this for Christmas.  Thought I’d share it.

Hey! It’s Christmas
by Larry Maurice
 
I’ve never been much on holidays
All the hoopla and stuff
Seems that in my life just having a break in the action
Sometimes,
is just good enough
 
Everyday on the ranch is packed tighter
 than Santa’s bag of toys
And if the work doesn’t get done
Well everything and everybody
starts makin’ all kinda of noise
 
The horses don’t care if it’s Easter or Quanza
And vacations don’t even come into the barn
Thanksgiving and Hanukah and St. Patty’s day
I missed it! Really? 
Darn!
 
Just missin’ a feedin’ or a waterin’
Can darn near be called animal abuse
“I had to run out and spend a couple a hundred dollars on Christmas decorations”
To the critters
Pard, that ain’t no kind of excuse
 
But there is a time of the season that even the stock
and the land seems to get
When the frost hits the rabbit brush
and ice rims the buckets
I haven’t been able to figure it yet
 
When the fall falls for anything
that doesn’t look like itself
and spring isn’t even starting to coil
There is a time and peace that covers the scene 
It hides deep and rich in our soil
 
Most folks run hither and yon getting all the stuff 
making the whirlwind spin
They say it’s for the kids or tradition or remembering
But when it comes right down to it
they’re reasonin’ gets pretty thin
 
 I don’t get how peace on earth comes from
covering your house with a thousand coordinated flashing lights
We think that the twinkle is best
from the heavens above
On cold clear Nevada nights
 
  Our life comes down to the things that we need
  We can figure out what we both want,
most of the time
Our first responsibilities are to the stock and to this land
And between us that seems to work fine
 
We hold and cherish our precious gifts each day
say a little thanks now and then.
We don’t make a big deal out of it cause we know
That the good times and the bad times
always come again
 
This life lets us be a part of all that we love the best
Horses, cattle, dogs, our friends and family
but mostly each other
and once in a while
Rest
 
So this is our way of saying Merry Christmas to you
We hope all your needs are met
and all those little things that are just wants
Won’t be so very hard to get
 
We want you to need warm sunny days and
time to laugh and to ride and to cry
To share special moments with friends and family
(“To watch the sun come blazing down
From a bright Nevada sky.”)
 
Here’s hoping that you’ll have time to waste in the days to come
 and hey!
Slow down a little bit in this coming new year
Make time for all the real things in your heart and soul
before they disappear
 
Let’s leave behind all the folks who are wonderin 
how many shinny baubles they’ll be able to gather
Let’s let go of all the hype and hoopla
all the fluff and noise and blather
 
Christmas comes but once a year
But it does come every year
Of that there never is a doubt
This time
Take the day off and if you have to decorate something? 
Try a Birthday cake
 If I remember correctly?
That’s what it’s all about!

[Leo Tanner]

I like that one

     Gotta show it ta Lil as soon as she gets back from doin more SHOPPIN.  Gonna print it out and put it on the fridge.


Leo

[Texas Lawdog]

Livin' on ranches is tough sometimes, especially in the winter time. There is always something that needs to be fixed and not much time to rest. Long days and short nights.

[Leo Tanner]

OT can vouch fer that.


Leo

[Texas Lawdog]

OT is definitely a "Jack of all Trades" when it comes to his present job.