Sure is quiet around here.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

We gonna boil his butt down to make licorice?

Ut oh... Forty Rod said boiled anise makes licorice. Run, Forty, RUN!! Delmonico is gonna get you!!



 

AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

I'm gonna 'scuse him fer now, I needs him fer this next project.  We gonna go fer a ride on on a dem Wright flyers.     I done leased us one that'll pick us up at a private gate cause we ain't gonna make it trough regulaer security.       Get all yer jelly beans, gum drops, jaw breakers and other such.  We is makin' a mess out a tha Mashall's saloon, I got better idea's.   We gonna take our food fight elsewhere.

Delmonico then loads a case of shotshells marked anise seed inta the cargo bay of a lear jet and away we go.  To where we'll find out later.

[Forty Rod]

Del can kiss my anise.  I ain't runnin' from NObody!

"Sides, how'd you know boiled butt don't make licorice?

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Well, I was a woman long before I was a nun. Does that answer the question?
Maybe Forty Rod knows of a rear that tastes like licorice, but I sure don't!



AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

I know cause anise seed is the seed of a member of the parsley family and licorice is a root of the legume family.  And Slim's butt is a member of the Brooks family.  

Now Forty Rod, shut up, sit down in yer seat, fasten yer belt and behave or yer gonna have ta ride in the cargo compartment with the anise seed shotshells.  Look at Duke, he's sittin' by the window behavin' himself.  

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Completely random aside: Though I really liked the Santa Hat emoticons, my favorite is still this one:

 

It's just so.... HAPPY.



AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

Well just take yer  and you can be honorarrrry Stewardasss fer the flight.  There are anise cookies in the galley fer any one who want them.

[Delmonico]

<squawky PA voice>  Folks pleeeeese return ta yer seats and fasten yer seat belt.  We will be landin' at the Great Falls Montana International Airport in 10 minuuuutes. 

And Thank You fer flyin' Delmonico Airlines. <PA voice off>

 

[Forty Rod]

Where we goin'?

I don't much like flyin'.

I figure if God had intended us to fly, we'd have been born with wings.

If He had intended ducks to fly, they'd have been born with propellers.

If He had intended me to go along with this nonsense, I'd have been born stupid.


DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT! 

DON'T YOU DARE!!!

[Delmonico]

When the plane lands and the door is opened, Duke is the first on out.  Delmonico and the rest of the crew follow.  They gather up their sidearms and Delmonico grabs a handful of anise shells and puts them in his pocket.  

The head out into the wilds of the Great Falls Montana night, lookin' fer their cyber-pard who is a bartender in this town.

Finding the bar, they head in, Delmonico parks his shotgun in the corner and wlks up to the bar.  "Barkeep, a round of anisette de Bordeaux fer us humans and a sasparilla fer the dog."

[Delmonico]

Careful FR, Annie will see that post in the mornin' and have somethin' to say about it.  That is after she sprays her moniter with coffee, why does she do that. 

It'll be even funnier when Mike logs on and finds out he's in danger of a silly food fight breakin out in his saloon, propelled by black powder of course.  

[Forty Rod]

Think I'll stay here and fiddle with this flying machine.  Lots of adjusting a fella can do with all these wires and cables and switches and things.  I KNOW I can improve the way it runs. 

Uh, would anybody know what time the stage for home leaves in the mornin'?

[Delmonico]

No way, yer the one that thought things were too quiet.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

As Delmonico stands at the bar, there is the distinct "ch-chik" sound of a '97 being cycled, followed by a

"BLAM!!"

as Del's own rear is peppered* with anise seed.

"Stewardess??! I'll give you stewardess!"


*(Since it is anise, not pepper, would the proper term be "anised"?)

[Scattered Thumbs]

Hey Delmonico! did it hurt?

Hey Delmonico!?


DELMONICO!

[Forty Rod]

WOW!!!

I ain't seen dancing like that since Donald O'Conner died.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

Gonna boil his rear and see if it turns into licorice, Forty Rod??


 

AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

And all mayhem ensue's as Delmonico starts sprayin' the place with anise seed.  Soon gumdrops, jelly beans cheese and sugar cookies are flyin.  Delmonico wonders where the 12 gauge anise shells came from since the Delmonico Ammunition and Spice Company only loads those in 10 gauge.

With the bar in shambles Delmonico leads the group back to the plane as Duke finishes his sasparilla.  Once on the plane Delmonico removes his pants to show his custom made full-hide Union Suit with double layered trap door.   You didn't think I'd turn my back on this crowd with out protection do you.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

The Frumpy Fairy Godmother buckles Duke into his seat and is rewarded with a sasparilla belch to her face.

"Figures Delmonico would squirm out of that one, and I don't think Mike even noticed Del shot up the place."

[Delmonico]

By the way, i think we'll start production on these as part of the Delmonico Union Suit Company.  Will sell good to cowboys who have to chase stampeeds in their underwear.

[Joyce (AnnieLee)]

By the way, i think we'll start production on these as part of the Delmonico Union Suit Company.  Will sell good to cowboys who have to chase stampeeds in their underwear.

But can you boil the flaps of them to make licorice?



AnnieLee

[Delmonico]

Delmonico beats Annie with a licorice whip and goes forward to talk to the piolet, poilot, er pielot or rather the guy whos drivin' the plane.   He comes back and announces tha Delmonico Air Lines is now headed to Long Beach Washington.  "I see Walt has changed his listin' and he was logged on yesterday.  Bet he's all moved inta his new house and is ready fer some fun.  Most likely ain't hangin' round no saloon out there though.  Bet he's in a Starbucks drinkin' grape latte made with soy milk,"   (Delmonico was in line to get his triple shot straight up one day and found the local drive through shack would make one if wanted.)

"When we land get ready were gonna shoot up a Starbucks, remember BMW's are out of season and the limit is 3 Volvos per day per person."   "I checked Walt's light is out so he ain't at home."

[Uncle Eph]

I got the Eastern Oregon Air Force (2 ag cats and 1 Boeing peashooter) on full alert; iffen that plane load of varmits and 1 saspirilla drinkin' dawg flys over us they have orders to shoot it down.

[Delmonico]

To late to get in the air, Uncle Eph's Air Force is caught on the ground and is destroyed as Duke empties 10 boxes of left over Civil War hardtack over the air base.

"On to Starbucks" says Delmonico as he wonders if Uncle Eph hangs around in a Starbucks.

[Foothills Drifter]

Howdy......
It ain't too quite 'round here nomore................

Good shootin......
Vern...