A STRAW HAT?
?
Aw, c'mon. I deserve a felt hat, even a cheap one. Not some sissy STRAW hat.
How about a canvas hat, or a leather one? A baseball cap, or one of those Greek fisherman's hats? An old Army helmet? A Brit Bobby's hat? How about one of those Aussie jobs with the brim pinned up on one side.
Anything but a STRAW hat.
That's what you whip a sodbuster with, then you cut holes in it for his horses ears to go through.
NOT A STRAW HAT!!!!