from a saloon piano player view

[Knuckles McDaniel]

 yes being a saloon piano player i have seen many infamious people come through those swinging doors . excuse me but somebody just past and droped a coin into my jar as he shouted out  clare delun. finally a paying customer  ...oh jesus is that  ,nah that cant be this is texas.  ah dang it is.. that wild bill .....  oh here comes John wesley... I have seen John wesley Hardin in here many a time ,but this is the first time i  him sit down next to wild bill!

[Trinity]

Would you please just play one song from beginnin' ta end without stoppin' ta see who's walkin' in ever' tahm ya hair them doors creak?"

[Chance]

Can you play "Far Away"?   

[Advertising]

[Delmonico]

He might be able to tune a piano, but can he tune a fish?

(Fer some of the folks who watch this board say it out loud 5 times.)

[Trinity]

Ah seen a rubber band once. 

[Sod Buster]

He might be able to tune a piano, but can he tune a fish?

(Fer some of the folks who watch this board say it out loud 5 times.)

That was a good one!

[Camille Eonich]

Caint ya play somethin' like "Camptown Races"?

[Delmonico]

Camptown ladies sing this song, DO Do, Do Do. (Or is it Do Da, Do Da, I know it ain't Poop Poop or is it.)

[Knuckles McDaniel]

Well ok i finshed the dad - burn song and I slowly walk over to the table .
 Simontaniously I saw John & Bill reach in to thier jackets.
I screached outloud  Please John Wesley Dont shoot Me
John said what you talking about boy  as he pulled out his pouch of tobacco and papers
I sighed relief as I looked at wild Bill. He had pulled from his chest pocket a brand new sealed package of cards.  so I said to them .
Excuse  me .I was just wanted to see what you two were doing.
Bill said ,cards of course 
So I said well excuse me i have to go get  a bar towl to clean up this mess i made on the floor.

[Delmonico]

(Maybe Poop Poop was right. )

Pie-anner player, can you play "In A Gada Da Veeda" asks Delmonico as he tosss four bits inta the tip jar.   Make it the long version please.

[Knuckles McDaniel]

yes, but the hard part it making the elephant trumpet sounds amd the money sounds
the only way i coud do the elephant is with a freshly eatn can of beans

[litl rooster]

Pie-anner player youd' good enuff to be on a stage............................................the first one out of town.

[Knuckles McDaniel]

yester day early say about sundown  I was practing the song Orpheus in the underworld
Whe from behind me came a yell  "Hell can  you quit that frenchie music  I got a god dang headache!!
 "i turn my head around and I saw Pearl Starr with both guns drawn.
 So I slowly rose my hands from the keyboard and slid off the bench.
Ther i stood facing the barrels of the her 44s
iwith hands in air I slowly walk over to the bar as the barrels follow.
 She then holster her guns and walked over to the bar ... She said to bill i give me a pickle !
I need a pickle , Bill opens the jar and reaches in and pulls one out.
Pearl takes the pickle and take a big bite than swallows
" seems that the only way i\(crunch ) i can get rid of (crunch) headache and aches"
so i  reach over and pushed the jar .over to her
"Here have on on me" i said...in fact take two...

Within a flash she had her pistols drawn and...her face has turns red 
Bills face turn pale as llooked at him       " mister dont you know not to sass a woman when shes....i looked back at bill ,oh ,i said i aint been ever married...
Well mister you Both beter watch it...
she took another pickle She tossed some coins and stormed out the door as the coins come landing on top of the bar
That's one women i never want to meet in a dark alley on one of them days

[Knuckles McDaniel]

Last month here at the saloon sure was a surprise. For we had a wedding reception here
this was the  only place big enough to hold all the townsfolk that was invited.
Yes the sherrif finally married  miss Anna  from the Mechantile  after a 5 year engagement spell.

Of course The  bride was beautiful 
This was a first time that I saw the sherriff all duded up and his fingernails were  even clean,
 i had to learn a whole new set of music for the thing.
The saloon girls sang a choral accompanied by me of course.
But then a strange thing happenes
 Out of no where there was nastia , can,t believe that girl....
she goes right in front of both of them and offers the groom a free one for a wedding present.

Now us  citizens of our township  are now evvolved in a trial at the county seat.
 Because  are  eyewitness to a murder.
Yes right there in front of everbody  Mrs Anna  grabs the shot gun from behind the bar and shoots Nastia with both barrels. Mrs Anna now sits in Jail awaiting her trial.

Sherrif Bartt siaid yesterday that he came to see here on sunday
and again saw her on wednesday .

well that it from the piano bench for today
 

[Knuckles McDaniel]

it saturday night and the place is getting a little crowed
Most of the poker tables are filled  and the guards are at thier staitions watching the tables
 The saloon girls are turning drinks to the tables as fast as they can !
Tonight seems to start off a night of good business
AS per what i can see without stoping my playing  seems the only table that not running tonight is the faro table.
Ole Jorge  is just siting there by himself reading a dime novel. How can he read with all lthis racket. 
From behind me comes a call of"a Harsh female voice "Play camp town races"    I will after I finished this song i say
from behind my ear comes a click of a hammer.
Damn, i havent changed a song so fast in my life. Finally she reconised the tune .she uncocsk her Gun.   . she laughs out loud . Damn it was Pearl Starr again
Hay knuckles Ii bet i made you wet your britches
 yep i said.
Oh well excuse me while iI change

[Knuckles McDaniel]

Saturday night it was all right we had our locals and nothing major happeded.
We had our local dicussion and finger pointing on who was most low crawing snake  when it came to cards. Nothing that the girls and the guards couldnt handle.
 my piano is getting out of tune ,but not as to effect the ears of clientel
I can tell the differance. I guess i better wire A piano tuner.
"Be cause you can tune a piano ,but you cant tuna fish"

[Knuckles McDaniel]

hello from the piano bench again !
Over my paino music i play some times i hear some imtresting comversations.
like that man over there the one with  dress on ....I heard he say he wasnt a girl when another man came over and asked him to dance.... he said he was only waring the dress to keep from getting in the army .Because he heard that the army was coming this way and they were pulling men to go round up some indians in the Dakotas.
 Yes i heard of some folks and to my surprise i was given a  new book  by one of the salloon girls
 so i can practice my reading .The author name was Oscar Wilde

[Knuckles McDaniel]

wel today we got a wire that a OPRY groupwill be passing though ant wer enquiring if ther was enought room for them to preform .the boss wire for sure we do
they said theyare doing a opry about ,something  about being faults./ I guess it one about telling lies to each other.any way they be here next saturday  ohhh i get a day off from this piano/