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Cas City Forum Hall & CAS-L  |  Special Interests - Groups & Societies  |  Zoot Shooters (Moderator: Pitspitr)  |  Topic: The Gospel of John (Browning) 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: The Gospel of John (Browning)  (Read 1569 times)
Drydock
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« on: December 25, 2016, 09:31:55 pm »


https://www.full30.com/video/625bffef16ebe59e6686d37270b9cf72
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Bat 2919
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« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2016, 01:35:59 am »

I like it.  The 1911 has long been referred to as "God's Gun."  

You'll find me in the Amen corner on this one.  

I've carried the 1911 exclusively for for serious social work for most of my adult life and continue to do so to this day.
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Hedley Lamarr
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« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2016, 01:08:47 pm »

The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

1. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was the pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.

2. And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.

3. And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

4. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.

5. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and loose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle.

6. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunction to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

7. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a block, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

8. And being a deceitful spirit the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did function.

9. And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.

10. But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and did proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continues to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

11. And when man had been totally ensnared with plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-BOOM to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

12. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.

13. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.
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Hedley Lamarr
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« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2016, 04:11:32 pm »

Yeah, verily!

And when retribution descended upon the unfaithful, they and their plastic pistols did writhe in agony, dropping in their numbers until all that remained of them was ashes, their very memory erased from the earth.

Selah
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Drydock
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« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2016, 06:46:31 pm »

Though I am a follower of the Old Testament, of the Prophet Webley that brought forth the break top, written in tablets of stone in times of great empire, I do acknowledge the light of truth that shines forth from the works of John.
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Civilize them with a Krag . . .
Silver Creek Slim
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« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2016, 09:06:49 pm »

That is great.   Grin

Slim
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« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2016, 12:06:53 am »

Hedley good to hear from you.
wM1
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« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2016, 03:37:41 pm »

 Grin


* glockv1911.jpg (52.38 KB, 736x356 - viewed 112 times.)
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Hedley Lamarr
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« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2016, 03:45:54 pm »

.... and so endeth the lesson .
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hellgate
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« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2016, 07:19:34 pm »

Hedley,
Good to know you're still functional! I knew somewhere you might just have a religious principle. Nice one at that.
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« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2016, 10:30:06 pm »

Godd to hear from you Hedley. Already shared with my Sun&Air
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Cas City Forum Hall & CAS-L  |  Special Interests - Groups & Societies  |  Zoot Shooters (Moderator: Pitspitr)  |  Topic: The Gospel of John (Browning) « previous next »
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