You know you're hooked when......

• You go by the Goodwill looking for a buffalo robe.
• You think that your leather, guns, hat and boots look too new.
• You spend 20 minutes picking out a bandanna.
• You ponder if you should shine your boots.
• You start thinking of getting a "stampede string" when the wind never blows.
• When you starting tossing loops over the garbage can.
• When you are still trying to design your brand for cattle you will never own.
• When you start squinting at sundown.
• When you try to find your bb gun, your mother probably threw out 35 years ago.
• When you search the channels for "B" westerns.
• When you tell the family to hush because you are watching a movie made in 1935.
• When you start to think of beating your rifle stock with a bike chain to make it look like it come up the Chisholm Trail.
• When you ponder the X-rated lyrics of the Chisholm Trail from Pawnee Bill.
• When you wondering about the stitching and pocket placement on your duds.
• When you don't shave before a match.
• When you rush down and buy some "Sons of the Pioneers" recordings.
• When you drive 450 miles to stare at a leather shirt worn by some US Army Officer with xxxx for brains.
• When you ask the bride if the family owns a dutch oven; when the last thing you cooked was two years ago in a microwave.
• When you ponder if your "persona" allowed the use of striped suspenders ((braces).
• When you treat every message from Pawnee Bill with reverence. When you wonder if he will ever write all of this info down, do a spell check, and make a million bucks for just sharing 10% of his knowledge with the rest of poor wretched uninformed, lied to souls.
• When you curse the things that the movies have led us to belief.
• When you finally realize that those "gun turn-ins" for concert tickets is actually leading many old collector guns to be melted into manhole covers or statues.
• ...you loose sleep because you haven't been able to find a model of gun in the newest movie to buy yet. (My Spencer is still waiting for the centerfire conversion kit and I STILL have not found a Reid pepperbox (ala Sharon Stone in 'The Quick and the Dead) to buy yet.)
• ...you FIND that new gun from the movie and take it home, only to have your wife state "thanks, aren't you going to get one for yourself?"
• ...you get married (a few years ago) and the only agreement that your new wife asks for is that when you get a new gun, she gets one too. (That is still the case and we stay very happy.)
• ...you're email address is your shooting handle, rather than you're given name.
• ...you ask your parents, kids and friends to call you by your SASS name.
• ...all that smokeless powder sits gathering dust on your shelf while you load away with black powder (or your choice of a black powder replacement.) HAVE FUN - MAKE SMOKE!
• ...you rush home after working an eleven to sixteen hour night shift to fire up your lead pot because you're almost out of .44-40 and .45 bullets. (I still have to break in that mould for the .45-90 1886 I STILL haven't fired yet.)
• ...you insist on firing up the lead pot even though it is already over 100 degrees at ten AM and it will be too hot to shoot until October anyway.
• ...your best duds are that new vest, pocketwatch, pants with no belt loops and the matching button suspenders. (I haven't had a suit in years.)
• ...you qualify with a SAA on your concealed weapons permit.
• ...you redecorate the living room with weathered barn board or knotty cedar, antique handcuffs, branding irons, lasso, barbed wire and a couple of "spare" cap & balls and lever guns.
• ...your home defense shotgun has hammers on the outside of it. When Big Lou had written a check for a complete Wah Maker outfit before the end of his first shoot (without, I might add, even checking with his better half).
• When Two Bits' fingers started twiching during the second stage she ever watched because just sitting there when everyone else got to get up and shoot was NO FUN!
• When our family bought 5 guns in two weeks so Two Bits could shoot her first match even though the friend who had gotten Big Lou hooked wouldn't be there to lend her guns. (Remember us last Labor Day, Bib Mamma?)
• When your best outfit consists not only of a skirt and blouse, but also a hat, shawl, petticoat and pantaloons (for me, the vest goes with my second-best outfit).
• When all the people in the local bullet-maker's store know you by your first name.
• When you try to keep at least 1,000 bullets ahead, in case they run out.
• When your grass isn't mowed and your weeds aren't pulled, but you've been to three matches in the last three weeks. You know you're hooked when the last hard back book you bought was on the history of the cowboy hat.
• When you look in the mirror every morning and think "I was born 100 years too late".
• When you have more invested in guns 'n gear then you do in your savings account.
• When you would rather watch the 1930's cowboys movies on tv then go to see the new action flicks at the theater.
• When you look at a new vehicle in terms of " which is the best for hauling all my guns ' stuff to the monthly shoots?"
• You know you're hooked when you're sitting with a bunch of friends watching "Tombstone", and you pause the video every two minutes or so and provide commentary like,
• . . . when you chop up your coffee table and convert it into a gun cart.
• . . . when you ask the geek at the compu-shop if he can provide any leads to find you a "period" computer with which you can access the CAS-L list.
• . . . when your silverware drawer contains more bullet moulds than forks.
• . . . when you spur the floorboard of your truck for extra power going up a hill.
• . . . when you replace the steering wheel in your car with a set of reins.
• . . . when you consult the CAS-L-FAQ list to determine what clothes to wear each day.
• . . . when you have more .45 Colt cases than hair.
• . . . when you check your CAS-L-Mail before greeting your mate.
• . . . when your gun cart has better upholstery than your living room furniture.
• . . . when your gun cart is PART of your living room furniture.
• . . . when you instinctively proceed to the unloading table after an amourous session with your mate.
• . . . when you attempt to twirl your cordless drill.
• . . . when you replace your waterbed with a canvas tent and a fire ring.
• . . . when you name your first-born "Trigger".
• . . . when you pan for gold in the bathtub.
• . . . when you fill the bathtub with a bucket.
• . . . when you owe more to the gunsmith than you owe on your house.
• . . . when you trade in your truck for a really trick 3/4 engraving job.
• . . . when you ask the receptionist to hold all your calls while you write up a list of "you know you're hooked on cas when. . . " You know you're hooked when...
• You say to yourself "If I'd known about this in 1981 I'd be SASS #2"
• Your neighbors complain about the smell from brandin' your truck tires....and your dog sleeps with one eye open.
• You wear your best cowboy duds to church, weddings and wakes.
• You really DID qualify with a third gen. Colt on your CCW much to the amusement of the RO
• You don't think about sex even once during a weekend shoot.
• You have five steel plates set up in your front yard and spray paint at the ready on the front porch.
• When you are trying to pay the visa with the master card so you can afford that Great Deal on a gun?
• You really know you're hooked when you turn about thirty acres of prime ag land into a shooting range complete with berms and 9 to 10 bays as well as a camping area just so you will have a place to shoot cowboys.
• When the wife asked "what in the world do you need this saddle stuff for"?
• When a snot nosed city slicker invests two years to learn to ride a retched four footed grass burner.
• When I was spit into the dirt from the back of a mule eared XX#$%^&*( after the man said "Sure, this here's a shootin horse".
• Never be afraid to lend the man a gun with blanks!!!
• When your vehical replacement is trading up from your Lincoln Mark to a used Suburban with a Four Horse Trailer.